People experience different things at different times during their lives, and that, for the most part, is acceptable. Yes, for the most part. Unfortunately, some adventures seem to be kind of rushed. Like sexual/romantic experiences — people are expected to have had these at a certain age, and if they haven’t… well, that makes them weird in people’s eyes, even if for no proper reason.
Recently, well-known actor Rebel Wilson revealed that she lost her virginity at 35, way later than “usual,” which prompted discussions online. Today’s video is part of this discussion, and frankly, it’s very empowering.
More info: TikTok
A woman posted a video response to Rebel Wilson’s reveal about losing her virginity at 35, telling her own similar story and creating a safe space for others to also do so
“Hi, my name is Allora. I lost my virginity and didn’t start dating, actually, at all until the age of 32”
“ And I want to talk about this recent clip from Rebel Wilson on the Jimmy Fallon show. Now, here’s the thing. It has been headline news since Rebel announced her book, and this little snippet went viral that she lost her virginity at 35. And even when she’s talking about it in this clip, you can kind of tell, not that she’s embarrassed about it, but it’s still a little uncomfortable, probably, for her to talk about. And I feel like Jimmy Fallon doesn’t even know how to handle it. Like he kind of makes a joke. He always makes jokes, but the exchange just is a little bit awkward.
“When I started making videos about my dating journey in January of last year, I accidentally became one of the loudest voices for shutting [down the] Late Bloomers’ stigma on the internet right now. To the point that the New York Post just interviewed me and asked my opinion on Rebel’s book and, specifically, her talking about being a 35-year-old late bloomer, and slightly inaccurate, I’m no longer a virgin, but what I will say this gets right is — I am no longer embarrassed about that. So let’s talk about it.”
“What I wish Rebel and others [who] may be new to the late bloomer community [knew] is that this is a far more standard experience than most people realize”
“ But because it’s not talked about, and because there’s such a stigma, regardless of your gender , or sexual sexuality, about not getting those firsts in at like a normal age, people just don’t know. I did not know that there were other late bloomers. Anyone that had an experience like mine.
“Until I was 30, I thought I was the only person in the whole world who had never been kissed, never had sex, never had been in a relationship . I had no idea, and it wasn’t until I downloaded TikTok, when everyone was downloading TikTok in 2020, and heard another TikToker talking about it, that I had any idea that I wasn’t alone.
“For that reason, I’m delighted that Rebel came out and talked about this because people are shocked, right? They’re shocked that someone who is so gorgeous and so successful, and who has lived such a big and interesting life, had her first sexual experience later in life. And that is a part of the stigma. People assume that because if you have not had this really, like, normal part of the human experience, experiencing, expressing your sexuality, that there must be something wrong with you, right? That you must be unlovable, or grotesque, or somehow unworthy. And when they find out instead that maybe somebody just didn’t have the opportunity, didn’t meet someone that they wanted to share that experience with.”
“Maybe they were putting their energy into having this big, beautiful life, and they just didn’t know how to approach this aspect — having a relationship, having a sexual experience”
“And the longer you go without having it, the more embarrassed that you feel about talking about it, the longer it becomes a really deep, dark secret, which it was for me. It felt like I was carrying around the weight of this, like, horrendous secret. And if anyone ever found out that this was my experience, I had no experience, that I would be made fun of or ostracized because that’s how it’s tackled in popular culture .”
“So, I hope people realize Rebel Wilson is more than someone who experienced sexuality in her 30s for the first time. She has lived a big, huge, interesting life”
“I cannot wait to read her memoir. But, in general, I just want people to know that this is a far more normal experience, a life experience, and it is shared by so many people. That is something that changed my life when I found out about it. If I, if just even one person had talked about this in a positive way when I was a younger person, it would have changed the whole course of my life. If just one person had said, ‘It’s okay if this hasn’t happened for you yet. It will one day. But it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not unworthy. You’re not unwanted.’”
“If just one person had said that, it would have saved me, not from the loneliness that comes when you’re a single person and you want so badly to be in a relationship. It wouldn’t have saved me from that, but it would have saved me from that isolation I felt and that certainty that I must be a monster because otherwise, why else had this happened to me? So, I absolutely cannot wait to read ‘Rebel Rising,’ but not just because [of] Rebel coming out as a late bloomer. It’s because Rebel Wilson is a super interesting person and I can’t wait to read about the rest of her life.
“And also, I want [you] to know, anyone hearing that headline for the first time, anyone seeing that clip for the first time — your lack of experience is not a joke. It’s okay that it hasn’t happened for you yet.”
“Your life can change at any moment, which I will tell you — life came at me hard and fast last year, but you’re normal. You’re worthy of love, and you cannot be late for your own life”
“So, I know this is like a weak platitude, but don’t stress about it. There are more of us than you know. So, welcome Rebel, and I can’t wait to read ‘Rebel Rising.’”
Watch the video here:
@alloradannon #stitch with @FallonTonight @Rebel Wilson I hope you know how incredible I think you are, I cannot wait to read “Rebel Rising,” and you have nothing to be embarassed about. ❤️ Thank you for shining a light on this topic! #latebloomer #latebloomers #rebelwilson #rebelrising #dating #booktok #reading #memoir #fyp ♬ original sound – Allora Dannon
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