Some folks say it takes a village to raise a kid, but sometimes that “village” means a childfree friend who doesn’t even know how to hold a baby. Friendships are all fun and games until someone throws a baby in the middle.
One minute you’re sharing jokes over brunch, and the next it’s “Hey, can you hold my baby while I shower … for the next 18 years?”
A Redditor found out the hard way that being a supportive best friend apparently means being ready to rock a diaper bag and Frozen songs, even if that was never part of the deal.
More info: Reddit
Some friends want to borrow your clothes, others want to borrow your childcare skills
Two women enjoying coffee and conversation by a sunny window, reflecting on single mom and babysitting challenges.
One woman refuses to babysit her best friend’s future baby after she decides to use a donor to get pregnant
Text post about a woman choosing to be a single mom and her friend refusing to babysit anymore.
Woman chooses to be a single mom and faces shock when her best friend refuses to babysit anymore.
Text excerpt discussing a woman choosing to become a single mom and planning to start IVF next year.
Smiling baby in a gray sweater being held, illustrating the theme of woman choosing to be a single mom and babysitting challenges.
The woman’s friend is almost 35 years old, so she wants to become a single mom via IVF
Text excerpt describing a woman’s plan for her future baby to spend time with her bestie, involving single mom and babysitting assumptions.
Text excerpt from a story about a woman discussing babysitting with her friend, linked to single mom challenges.
Woman choosing to be a single mom expects bestie to babysit, faces shock when support is withdrawn.
Text excerpt about a woman discussing childcare support with her bestie, involving babysitting and other help options.
Two women on a couch having a tense discussion about babysitting and single mom responsibilities.
The friend assumes the woman will help raise her baby, as being a single mom is difficult, so she assigns her a babysitting role without asking
Text excerpt about a woman choosing to be a single mom assuming her bestie will babysit forever, then shocked at refusal.
Text excerpt describing anxiety and responsibility concerns about babysitting for a woman choosing to be a single mom.
Text expressing refusal to babysit for a single mom, highlighting feelings of nervousness and surprise over the decision.
Text on a white background reads she dropped me home and we haven’t spoken since, expressing regret and asking if she is the asshole.
The woman tells her friend she has no maternal instincts and suffers from anxiety around babies, so she is not comfortable babysitting alone
The OP (original poster) and her friend Mia have been besties for over a decade. No fights, no drama, just sisterly vibes and strong friendship. Mia, who’s always been upfront about wanting to be a mom , with or without a partner, decided it’s finally time to go the donor route.
Bestie OP was fully on board with this plan. She thought Mia would be a wonderful mom and was genuinely excited to support her in every way, except one – babysitting. But the real problem was that Mia seemed to think that support meant “free childcare.”
Our OP made it crystal clear from the start that she has no maternal instincts and wasn’t comfortable watching babies alone. Not because she’s selfish or lazy, but because she struggles with anxiety and sensory issues. And honestly, that’s fair. Not everyone is cut out to deal with a tiny human.
Still, Mia kept dropping hints, but then switched to guilt trips. One minute she was telling sweet stories about other single moms and their “village,” the next she was practically assigning the OP the role of live-in nanny, godmother, and co-parent.
When the OP finally told her bestie once and for all she wouldn’t be babysitting , Mia got visibly upset. But the OP wasn’t cold or heartless – she offered to help in every other way: cooking, cleaning, hospital support, shopping. So, what gives? Why does “no babysitting” get interpreted as “I don’t care about you or your kid”?
Woman sitting on a couch holding phone looking thoughtful, illustrating single mom facing babysitting challenges.
Being a single parent is a brave, empowering choice, sure, but it doesn’t entitle anyone to draft friends into free childcare. Choosing parenthood means being responsible for all of it, not outsourcing the hard parts. If you’re preparing to become a single mom , planning helps, big time. Start with the logistics, like finances, childcare options, parental leave, and building a real support network.
Next, get comfy with the idea that you’ll be doing bedtime, sick days, and school projects solo, unless you have explicit help lined up. And yes, emotional prep is key too. Therapy, parenting books, and wine nights with friends , for moral support, not babysitting, go a long way. Choosing this path is empowering, but it works best when paired with actual planning, not assumptions.
If you have to guilt-trip your bestie to help “raise” your baby, you’re doing something wrong. Because guilt-tripping is not a love language; it’s a type of manipulation that sounds like, “If you really cared, you’d do this for me,” or “Everyone else is helping, why not you?” The goal is to make you feel bad for saying no or setting a boundary they don’t like.
It’s a manipulation tactic that shifts responsibility away from the person asking and onto the person resisting. The best defense? Spot it early, stay calm, and repeat your boundary like it’s your favorite playlist. Empathy is great, emotional guilt traps, not so much.
Netizens side with the woman, saying she is not a jerk for refusing to babysit for her friend, as she decided to become a single mom
Comment discussing challenges of single mom relying on bestie for babysitting and expectations of support network.
Comment discussing the challenges a woman faces when she assumes her bestie will babysit forever as a single mom.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman choosing to be a single mother and expecting her friend to babysit.
Comment text on a white background discussing a woman choosing to be a single mom and the assumption her bestie will babysit forever.
Text post discussing high expectations of single moms for babysitting help from friends and setting boundaries firmly.
Comment discussing a woman choosing to be a single mom and expecting her best friend to babysit indefinitely.
Comment discussing a woman choosing to be a single mom and assumptions about babysitting from friends.
Reddit comment discussing a woman choosing to be a single mom and expecting her bestie to babysit forever.
Woman chooses to be a single mom, assumes bestie will babysit forever, surprised when friend says no to childcare request.
Reddit comment discussing a woman choosing to be a single mom and expecting her bestie to babysit for free.
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