Working in an office often means you have to socialize with your coworkers daily. When they have significant events in their lives, you also have to congratulate them, and sometimes even chip in for a collective gift. In fact, 43% of American workers say they have contributed to group gifts in the workplace or among family and friends.
One recent story sparked a debate about whether that should be a given. After a woman refused to chip in for her colleague’s retirement gift, coworkers accused her of holding grudges and being petty. The woman tried to justify her position, saying, “She was horrible to me for years,” thinking that the colleague hadn’t earned any sympathy or a going-away gift from her.
A woman was asked to chip in for a going-away gift for a colleague she hated
Woman looking frustrated at paperwork, representing refusal to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift after workplace misery.
Coworkers pressured her to contribute and called her “petty,” but the woman saw no point in gifting something to a person who mistreated her for years
Woman refuses to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after years of a difficult work relationship.
Text screenshot showing a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after being treated miserably at work.
Woman refuses to contribute to coworker’s retirement gift after negative workplace experiences with her.
Woman refusing to contribute fifty dollars to a coworker’s retirement gift after years of workplace hostility.
Text excerpt about a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift due to a miserable work life.
Vintage Gruen watch in its original box, symbolizing a coworker’s retirement gift refused by a woman.
Alt text: Coworker refuses to contribute $50 to retirement gift after being treated poorly at work, facing pressure to reconsider.
Text screenshot showing refusal to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Text of a message about refusing to contribute money to a coworker’s retirement gift due to years of mistreatment.
Text image showing a woman refusing to contribute 50 dollars to a coworker’s retirement gift after conflict.
Employees feel pressure to give gifts to colleagues, but many would like to receive a retirement gift themselves
This woman’s story sparked an interesting discussion: should all coworkers contribute to gifts for colleagues or not? For some, coworkers’ birthdays, weddings, and even the holiday season can seem like a nightmare and a waste of money. Others, however, believe that it raises the spirit in the office and contributes to a better work ethic.
In general, most people look at gift-giving in the workplace as a stressful thing. According to a 2025 Harris Poll, almost half of all employees feel pressured to take part in gift-giving at work. On the other hand, 75% say they are comfortable giving colleagues gifts on personal occasions.
However, a common sentiment among workers is that chipping in for gifts is a nuisance. 71% of employees in the Harris Poll said giving gifts affects workers who earn less, and 68% even thought the practice led to favoritism. Employees think it can even lead to friction among team members because there is a sense of obligation that not everyone wants to adhere to.
Interestingly, when it comes to retirement , many people would like to receive a gift. In a 2021 survey of employees in Belgium and the Netherlands, 29% of the respondents said they would like to get a present from their colleagues on the day of their retirement. While this was more prevalent among older employees (50+), many younger workers admitted they would like a gift as well.
Employees should not feel obligated to give one another gifts
The problem in this story wasn’t with the fact that “Linda” was receiving a retirement gift . It’s that one employee felt forced to participate in the gift-giving. We could almost call this the perfect example of such practices negatively impacting team dynamics.
HR and workplace experts say that companies should make gift policies optional. It feels even more icky when a worker is asked to contribute to a gift for a colleague who earns significantly more than they do. If a company thinks that gift policies are important to its culture, it should be funding employees’ gifts itself.
Alison Green, the creator of the work advice site Ask a Manager and the author of Ask a Manager: Clueless Colleagues, Lunch-Stealing Bosses, and the Rest of Your Life at Work , writes that “optional” donations shouldn’t feel expected or required.
“Any collection for money needs to fully opt in, not opt out,” she argues. “We should all get comfortable ignoring donation drives we don’t want to participate in or using language like ‘It’s not in my budget right now.’”
Charlotte Hilton Andersen, an etiquette expert for Reader’s Digest, agrees . “The $50 that feels like pocket change to a senior manager might represent a significant chunk of an entry-level employee’s grocery budget.” She does, however, advocate for letting people keep their financial situations private. “You don’t owe anyone your financial autobiography,” she says, although admits that people sometimes are more understanding when they know the reason.
Screenshot of an online forum discussing a woman refusing to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift after workplace mistreatment.
Commenters discuss a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Most commenters sided with the woman, saying she owed nothing to the horrible coworker
Comment on a forum discussing a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Alt text: Online comment advising to report workplace bullying and harassment in a hostile work environment involving a coworker.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment about a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after workplace bullying.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman refusing to contribute $50 to coworker’s retirement gift due to past mistreatment.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment about a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after conflict.
Comment about workplace conflict where a woman refuses to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift after mistreatment.
Alt text: Printed note of woman refusing to contribute to coworker’s retirement gift after being treated miserably at work.
Reddit comment text showing support for a woman refusing to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Comment on workplace fund deductions, highlighting a woman refusing to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman refusing to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift after mistreatment.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing refusal to contribute $50 towards a coworker’s retirement gift after conflict at work.
Comment about a woman refusing to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Alt text: Woman refuses to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after negative workplace experience with her.
Comment text discussing a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after a negative work experience.
Comment discussing refusal to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift due to difficult work relationship.
Screenshot of an online forum comment where a user refuses to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift.
Woman sitting at a desk looking frustrated while a coworker holds a gift, reflecting tension over retirement gift contribution.
Text comment on a white background discussing refusal to contribute money to a coworker’s retirement gift after past mistreatment.
Reddit comment about woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after difficult work experience.
Comment discussing refusal to contribute $50 to coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Reddit comment discussing refusal to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift amid workplace tension and economic concerns.
Comment expressing doubt about company collecting contributions for coworker’s retirement gift amid workplace conflicts.
Comment about refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Comment about a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after difficult work experiences.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing refusal to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift.
Text comment about woman refusing to contribute fifty dollars to coworker’s retirement gift due to bad workplace dynamics.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment about a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift due to budget concerns.
Screenshot of a forum comment where a user discusses refusing to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift due to a toxic relationship.
Comment on a forum discussing a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Alt text: Text conversation about a woman refusing to contribute fifty dollars to a coworker’s retirement gift after negative experiences.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment about a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment explaining why a woman refuses to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift.
Screenshot of an online comment about a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after a difficult work relationship.
Comment advising on workplace hostility and refusal to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift causing tension.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment about a woman refusing to contribute fifty dollars to a coworker’s retirement gift.
Text comment on a white background where a user discusses the unfairness of coworkers funding a retirement gift.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing refusal to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift due to workplace conflicts.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift.
Comment discussing refusal to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift due to difficult workplace experience.
Reddit comment discussing refusal to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift in a hostile work environment.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift.
Reddit comment discussing woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after conflict at work.
Others suggested looking at this from a different point of view and think about this in terms of her career in the future
Comment explaining how a woman refuses to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift after a miserable work experience.
Alt text: Text comment discussing a woman refusing to contribute to a coworker’s retirement gift after difficult work experiences.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing consequences of a woman refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift.
User comment about refusing to contribute $50 to a coworker’s retirement gift after experiencing a difficult work relationship.
Thanks! Check out the results:
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!
Follow Bored Panda on Google News!
Unlock an Enhanced Experience with Bored Panda Premium
Go ad-free, access unlimited content, and enjoy our sleek dark mode. Your favorite stories, uninterrupted.
No fees, cancel anytime
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(749x0:751x2):format(webp)/james-van-der-beek-melissa-joan-hart-clarissa-explains-it-all-01-021126-2fc520a096c546d78a9ae1173c5c4a29.jpg)
Olympian Makes Stunning Admission After Judge’s Conspicuous Scores Ignite Cheating Accusations
