There’s a certain fairytale about getting engaged: the sparkling ring, the happy tears, the “we’re a team now” moment. What no one tells you is that sometimes, your new team member shows up to the game without any proper equipment or, you know, a job.
Suddenly, you’re less of a bride-to-be and more of a burnt-out human ATM. And that’s the financial fable one Redditor found herself living after 4 years with her fiancé, a man she adores, but whose relationship with work and money is…let’s just call it “creative.”
More info: Reddit
Falling in love is free, but financing someone else’s “dream life” comes with interest
Woman feeling financially trapped sitting at table with laptop and paperwork in bright home, stressed and overwhelmed.
One woman is emotionally and physically exhausted from financially supporting her fiancé after he quit his job to build a business
Woman feels financially trapped as jobless fiancé relies on her for months while trying to build a business.
Text excerpt showing a woman describing financial challenges as her jobless fiancé lives off her while trying to build a business.
Text excerpt about woman feeling financially trapped as jobless fiancé relies on her income to build a business.
Text excerpt showing a woman feeling financially trapped as her jobless fiancé relies on her support to build a business.
Text excerpt showing a woman feeling financially trapped as her jobless fiancé lives off her to build a business.
Text on a white background stating frustration over a jobless fiancé who lives off a woman for months to build a business.
Man in plaid shirt working on laptop surrounded by tools and blueprints, representing financially trapped woman scenario.
The woman moves in with her boyfriend after 4 years of dating, and they get engaged around the same time
Text on a white background stating a woman feels financially trapped as her jobless fiancé lives off her for months trying to build a business.
Woman feels financially trapped as jobless fiancé relies on her support for months to build a business plan.
Woman feels financially trapped as jobless fiancé depends on her income to build a business over several months.
Text excerpt showing a woman feels financially trapped as jobless fiancé asks for help with car payment and gas expenses.
Text excerpt about a woman feeling financially trapped as her jobless fiancé asks her to cover debts while building a business.
Text excerpt showing a woman feeling financially trapped and conflicted about supporting her jobless fiancé.
Woman looks frustrated and financially trapped as her jobless fiancé explains himself while holding a phone at home.
Soon after moving in together, the man quits his job to work on his dream business while the woman works long hours to provide for both
Woman feels financially trapped and burnt out as jobless fiancé depends on her while trying to build a business.
Woman feels financially trapped as jobless fiancé relies on her income for months trying to build a business.
Text excerpt about woman feeling financially trapped as jobless fiancé depends on her income while trying to build a business.
Text from a woman expressing frustration as her jobless fiancé claims to work on building a business without having a side job.
Text stating a woman feels financially trapped as her jobless fiancé lives off her while trying to build a business.
Alt text: Text expressing how a woman feels financially trapped while supporting her jobless fiancé building a business.
Woman feeling financially trapped, sitting pensively in a chair, reflecting on jobless fiancé living off her income.
The woman ends up paying all the bills and his fiancé’s debts, and finances his business, which he calls “investing”
Alt text: Woman feels financially trapped supporting jobless fiancé who is living off her to build a business.
Text showing a woman feeling financially trapped as her jobless fiancé lives off her to build a business.
Text on a white background reading what’s the line between being supportive and being taken advantage of with a focus on income and willingness.
Alt text: Woman feels financially trapped and overwhelmed as jobless fiancé relies on her income for months to build a business.
Text on a white background reads a woman’s frustration about her jobless fiancé living off her while claiming he will work until age 90.
The woman asks for advice on how to make her fiancé understand that paying his life expenses is making her suffer from burnout
The OP (original poster) is 38 and worked super-hard to get where she is financially. Her fiancé, a 41-year-old man, has always had money troubles, but she supported him through it. She cheered when he finally landed a stable job, watched him get on his feet, and eventually, they moved in together. An engagement followed, and everything seemed picture-perfect.
Then, right after the proposal, this guy just quit his job out of the blue. Sure, the work environment was rough, and burnout is real, but that wasn’t part of her financial vision board. He promised it was temporary, and swore he’d pick up a side hustle while building his dream business.
So, our OP decided to be supportive while he followed his dream. But even 5 months later, the business hasn’t made a dime, the debts are growing, and the OP is footing the bill for everything from groceries to gas. While her fiancé calls it “investing in their partnership,” she calls it “financial claustrophobia.”
Things came to a head when the fiancé asked the OP to cover his debts, and implied that if she really believed in them as a couple, she’d keep swiping her card. Every conversation about setting an end date turned slippery, leaving her feeling like a bad person for wanting a partner who participates in adulting.
She doesn’t want to crush his entrepreneurial dreams, but she’s exhausted, overworked, and watching her own goals collect dust while his car payment collects late fees, which is not what she had in mind when she accepted his proposal.
Woman feels financially trapped as jobless fiancé argues at kitchen table with bills and laptop nearby.
Emotional burnout is real folks, and it’s not pretty. Working long hours, high-pressure jobs or financial stress are some of the top triggers of emotional exhaustion and our OP checks all the boxes. When you carry the entire financial weight of a relationship on your shoulders for a long time, your legs give out eventually.
The effects of emotional exhaustion can be both emotional and physical, like a lack of motivation, having trouble sleeping, feelings of hopelessness, being depressed or angry, amongst others. Over time, burnout can chip away at patience, affection, and even attraction, because nothing says “romantic” like unpaid utility bills.
A true partnership isn’t built on one person’s paycheck and another person’s promises. It’s built on teamwork, and right now, the OP is the only one on the field, but somehow still feels like the bad person for not being “supportive enough.” And that’s emotional manipulation for you.
Emotional manipulation is when someone uses guilt, blame, or subtle pressure to control how another person feels in order to get what they want. It’s sneaky and often hides behind sweet words or “we’re in this together” speeches. Just like the OP’s fiancé is calling his debts “an investment in their partnership,” reframing his financial irresponsibility so that saying no would make her feel unsupportive.
It often shows up as guilt trips, silent treatment, or shifting blame until you start doubting your own feelings. The goal is always the same: to make you comply without the manipulator taking real responsibility. This kind of manipulation can make the giver feel trapped, anxious, and unsure which feelings are truly theirs. I don’t know about you, but I’d opt out of this type of relationship.
Netizens advise the woman to stop financing her fiancé’s life as she is just enabling his irresponsible behavior
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Woman feeling financially trapped as jobless fiancé lives off her for months while she supports household expenses.
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Woman feels financially trapped as jobless fiancé mooches off her while claiming to build a business for months
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Alt text: Woman feels financially trapped as jobless fiancé relies on her income while claiming to build a business.
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Woman feeling financially trapped, stressed while fiancé remains jobless and depends on her for months to build business
Comment on a forum about a woman feeling financially trapped by a jobless fiancé living off her while pretending to build a business.
Woman feels financially trapped as jobless fiancé relies on her income for months while trying to build a business.
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Comment on screen warning a woman she is his financial plan and should end the relationship to avoid being financially trapped.
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