When entering a relationship, there’s always a side of you that worries about the most random things:
Am I going to get along with their family? Will the dog like me? Do they have the same stance on eating breakfast foods for dinner? Whatever it is, chances are that you know what it’s like to have your honeymoon stage sabotaged by a worrisome mind.
Things pass, and you become comfortable and sure in your significant other – however, there’s a big deal breaker that most people fear, and that’s meeting each other’s friends.
It’s a known fact that your mates hold a lot of weight when it comes to who you share your precious life with, and most folks take these first-time meetings with extreme precaution. After all, who would want to make a terrible impression on those who know your partner better than their own mother?
But what should one do if the friends end up being unfriendly? Well, buckle up, because this Reddit user has a story to tell.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes getting along with your partner’s friends is just not meant to be
Woman wonders if she’s a jerk for telling her boyfriend’s pals that she makes twice as much as him after they called her a gold digger
The Reddit user began her post by sharing that she’s in a relationship with a guy who works in a similar sphere to her: he’s doing programming at a large company and makes $68K, and she’s a mechanical engineer at a robotics start-up, where she earns $130K.
When the couple arrived at the party, instead of chattering about her career, the OP decided to talk about her hobbies
One day, the OP’s boyfriend brought her to a party where she had the opportunity to meet his friends. The guy’s pals work in tech too and mostly talked about their jobs before moving on to the author and asking her about herself.
Instead of talking about her profession, the woman decided to cover her hobbies. She told them that she’s a hiker, does archery, loves road trips, camping, and riding dirt bikes – however, this didn’t stop one of them from wondering about her career.
The OP avoided the topic and said that she didn’t want to talk about work, as she’d spent her whole day sweating her bottom off trying to replace a busted motor.
She then realized that some of the things she said might’ve made her seem poorer
The woman then added that she wasn’t trying to downplay that she has a good job, she simply wasn’t in the mood to talk about it.
Some other conversations came up that, according to the author, made her seem poorer. She said that car dealership repairs are a rip off and also mentioned how her childhood neighbor’s trailer caught on fire and that she was planning to visit and help her out.
The OP said that she wasn’t doing it on purpose, as she was just talking about her life – yet, for some reason, folks assumed that she was not too well off.
When everyone got drunk, one of the friends made a joke about her living in a trailer and being a gold digger
However, her partner failed to defend her, so she told his friends that she makes twice what he does
As everyone got drunker, the boyfriend’s buddies started to loosen up and began making jokes about the OP growing up in a trailer and being a gold digger that was ready to “jump to a richer guy” – a case of some toxic misogyny, basically.
The thing is, the OP’s partner didn’t defend her. He later justified it by saying that he’d smoked too much, which made it hard for him to engage in the conversation – but the woman was hurt regardless.
The boyfriend wanted to leave shortly afterwards, as he said that her exposing him was “humiliating”
Naturally, the incredibly out-of-place accusations had wound her up, so she asked the men why would they say such a thing when she makes twice what her boyfriend does.
As expected, everyone got really quiet, yet the woman continued and said that there was no gold to dig – not from him or anyone else at the party.
The boyfriend wanted to leave shortly after that, as he was upset that his friends now knew that he was making way less that the OP – however, the woman said that she’d have held her tongue if he’d stood up for her in the first place.
The guy said that it was humiliating and embarrassing, whereas the woman is angry that she had to say anything at all, since it was supposed to be on him to put them in their place.
What do you think about this situation? Was the author right to defend herself?
Fellow Reddit users shared their thoughts and opinions on this unpleasant but satisfying story
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