You know you’re about to step into dangerous territory when someone asks for your “honest opinion” and says they definitely “won’t get mad” because of what you tell them. That’s exactly what happened to Reddit user NorthernCanadaEh , who recently shared his uncomfortable experience on r/AITAH .
After being cornered by his friend, the man was asked to weigh in on a very sensitive topic: a chest tattoo that immortalizes her former fiancé. What followed was a vivid Titanic analogy and a raw conversation that ended in tears.
Name tattoos can be either a beautiful tribute or painful reminder, depending on how the story ended
Close-up of a woman’s shoulder tattoo reading Forever Brian’s, illustrating how a Titanic-themed tattoo affects her love life.
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And this woman isn’t sure if hers is being received well by the men she’s dating
Text excerpt about a man explaining why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, causing her tears.
Text explaining a friend’s tattoo story related to love life, referencing Titanic and emotional impact.
Text discussing how a tattoo is affecting a woman’s love life and making her dates uncomfortable.
Text excerpt from a man using Titanic to explain why his friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, causing tears.
Text explaining Titanic movie theme as a man uses it to discuss how friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life.
Text excerpt explaining Titanic to illustrate why friend’s tattoo affects her love life, causing emotional reaction.
Text about Titanic explaining why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, leaving her emotional and in tears.
Text explaining how a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life using a Titanic metaphor about commitment and relationships.
Man explaining with hands on temples why friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life during a serious conversation.
Text excerpt discussing opinions on how a friend’s tattoo relates to love life issues, referencing Titanic metaphor.
Man uses Titanic to explain why friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, causing emotional reaction.
Text excerpt discussing a man’s use of Titanic to explain why his friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life, causing tears.
Text message showing a man explaining how a Titanic tattoo is ruining his friend’s love life, causing her tears.
Can post-trauma tattoos help people heal?
Tattoos are common. 32% of adults in the US have at least one, including 22% who have more.
Once associated with marginalized, oppressed, victimized, or transient social groups, tattoos have become part of mainstream culture.
And while the reasons for inking your skin are as varied as the people who do it, the ‘aftermath of trauma’ tattoo has been observed as a trend.
Suzanne B. Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP, is a licensed psychologist and an adjunct professor in the Doctoral Program of Long Island University and on the faculty of the Post-Doctoral Programs of the Derner Institute of Adelphi University. She notes that:
- Across generations and wars, those in the military have used tattoos as tributes to fallen brothers in arms;
- In the aftermath of 9/11, civilians and firefighters throughout the world chose tattoos as an indelible reminder of the terrorist assault, the courage of first responders, and the loss of so many;
- Sociologists Glen Gentry and Derek Alderman estimate that there are thousands of Katrina- and New Orleans-related tattoos reflecting both horrific images of crumbling buildings and gushing floodwater, as well as signs and symbols of a beloved city;
- In the wake of the unprecedented destruction from Hurricane Sandy, there have been numerous tattoo fundraisers.
“Whether a traumatic event involves a car accident, escape from freezing floodwaters, or the loss of a child, it is registered in our body in terms of the survival reflexes of fight, flight, and freeze,” Phillips says. “Encoded under these conditions, our memory of the traumatic event is not registered as narrative but as fragments of highly charged visual images, bodily feelings, tactile sensations, or sensory reactivity to reminders of the event.”
Because of this, trauma experts encourage us to work from the body out in the course of recovery and healing to attend to the sensations, senses, and images that carry the imprint of trauma. And in that sense, tattoos make sense.
“[They] use the body to register a traumatic event, [which] is a powerful re-doing. It starts at the body’s barrier of protection, the skin, and uses it as a canvas to bear witness, express, release and unlock the viscerally felt impact of trauma,” the psychologist explains.
“Connection with self and others in a way that makes the future a possibility is crucial in healing and moving beyond trauma. When a tattoo is more than a static sign of identification with loss or pain, when it is an ongoing reminder of pain suffered and pain survived, it becomes transformative and serves as an ongoing sign of resiliency and possibility.”
However, this particular design isn’t just the late fiancé’s initials with their engagement date. Instead of remembrance, it signifies everlasting possession, and to some, that might be two different things.
Reddit user explains how Titanic analogy showed friend’s tattoo was ruining her love life, sparking emotional reaction.
Screenshot of a Reddit thread discussing a friend’s tattoo and its impact on her love life, mentioning Titanic.
Reddit discussion about a man using Titanic to explain how a friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life and leaving her upset
Most people believe there’s nothing wrong with the tattoo
Reddit comment discussing how a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, referencing Titanic and tattoo cover-up ideas.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man using Titanic to explain why a friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life.
Screenshot of a Reddit post explaining why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, referencing Titanic.
Comment in online forum discussing how a Titanic reference explains why a friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life.
Comment discussing how a man uses Titanic to explain why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life.
Screenshot of a discussion about how a friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life, explained using Titanic.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a Titanic analogy explaining why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing how a man uses Titanic to explain why his friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life.
Comment from UniqueGuy362 discussing a tattoo and its impact on a friend’s love life, mentioning compromise ideas.
Excerpt from a Reddit discussion about how a Titanic reference explains why a friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life.
Comment explaining why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, referencing Titanic to support the argument.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing how a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, referencing Titanic.
Screenshot of an online comment explaining why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life using Titanic as an example.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing how a friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life, referencing Titanic.
Man uses Titanic to explain how friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, leaving her in tears and affecting relationships.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing how a tattoo is affecting love life and suggesting a cover-up solution.
Text from a Reddit comment explaining how a friend’s tattoo ruins her love life using Titanic as an example.
Reddit user explains why friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life using Titanic analogy, leaving her in tears.
Comment on social media post about people upset after asking for opinions, related to Titanic and tattoo ruining love life.
Screenshot of an online comment explaining why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, referencing Titanic.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man using Titanic to explain why a friend’s tattoo is affecting her love life.
But some say she jumped the gun
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing why a friend’s tattoo may be affecting her love life, referencing Titanic.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, referencing Titanic.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man using Titanic to explain why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life.
ALT text: Man uses Titanic reference to explain why friend’s tattoo is impacting her love life, causing emotional distress.
Comment discussing a man’s view on how a friend’s tattoo might be ruining her love life, leading to emotional distress.
Reddit user explaining why a friend’s tattoo is ruining her love life, referencing Titanic in a detailed comment.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a tattoo’s impact on love life, referencing Titanic to explain emotional effects.
Man explaining Titanic to friend about her tattoo affecting love life, leaving her emotional and in tears.
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