Working as a vet can be incredibly stressful and challenging, yet also deeply fulfilling. And it helps if you and your clients have a good sense of humor. Like when you realize that you’ll be treating pets with the names Big Dog, Chicken Salad, and Greg From Accounting.
Humor-loving veterinarians revealed the funniest names of the pets that have ever come into their clinics, and their stories are brilliant. We’ve collected the best ones to chase away the winter blues and bring a bit of sunshine into your life. Scroll down for a big dose of laughter.
My personal favourite is a dog named Woofgang, which inspired me to name my cat Meowzart.
ubercanucksfan , Manja Vitolic Report
I have some friends who have a cat named Greg from Accounting.
anon , Getty Images Report
My friend named her black cat Edgar Allan Purrr.
possum-power , Neven Krcmarek Report
Vet tech here. Best one was a tiny little Chihuahua named “Bone Crusher.” He was owned by an amateur body builder. Guy was like 6'4" and close to 300 lbs. Funny situation all in all.
YouMightKnowOfMe , thanh hien Report
I met a cat named Maybelline at the vet which I thought was a great name because it comes with a built-in theme song. Like someone walks into the room and says, “Who knocked over the vase?” And you sing, “Maybe it’s Maybelline.”.
13707892 , Nathan Anderson Report
NAV, but in high school my friend had an iguana named mariguana.
UtterDisbelief , v Report
Not a vet but my sister has a beta fish named Swim Shady.
kortokrizzle , Tarah Dane Report
Wanker. A terrier mix who was actually pretty cool and not a wanker in any sense. Also a blind and deaf dog named Helen Smeller.
PrettyButEmpty , Getty Images Report
Not a vet, but my husband named a feral tabby cat we adopted Alt-Tab because he’d make us switch from whatever task we were working on when he wanted attention or food.
anon , Davex Video Report
Had a neighbor once who had two massive Rottweilers and allowed their young daughter to name them – Big Dog and Glitter.
justGusCos , bubblessue67 Report
Not a vet but saw Lizard named Harry. As in yer a Lizard Harry.
anon , Meghan Gordon Report
IANAV but a saw a poster for a missing cat named Chairman Meow.
anon , Josue Ladoo Pelegrin Report
My aunt and uncle used to have a lovely white cat named Dumptruck. i miss Dumptruck.
anon , Alyona Bogomolova Report
My friend used to have a cat named Chicken Salad. He currently owns a cat named Grandma.
DanimusRex , Andriyko Podilnyk Report
There’s a pot belly pig living next door to me… I’ve called him Notorious P.I.G.
gparedes7 , Peter Hoogmoed Report
I always wanted to have an animal named peeve so I could say “this is my pet peeve”.
nmvalerie , Yogendra Singh Report
My husband use to work at a Humane Society vet office. He was up for adoption, not in for vet care, but once a rooster came in named Cluck Norris. (This was in Reno, Nevada).
FroggiJoy87 , Charlie Wollborg Report
My dog’s name is Bark Obama.
atreddit13 , Getty Images Report
Worked at a daycare, my favorite was “diogi” (d-o-g).
47h3157 , Angel Luciano Report
Leonardo DiCatio; Zombie Apocalypse.
JustaSmallTownPearl , Mikhail Vasilyev Report
I’m no Vet, but my wife and I adopted an adult cat who was originally named Sammy, but I wasn’t satisfied with a pet that didn’t have an 80s reference for a name so I tried for Mr. Roboto, I got vetoed on that so I went with Domo Hairy Gato instead. Side note: I’m no longer married, but still have Domo aka The Domonater, Lord Bishop Grand Admiral Marshal of the Noms.
Lonestar1771 , Keenan Barber Report
I once had a pet emperor scorpion named Cuddles.
havron , Shadow749 Report
I know a dog called Askit, So when people inquire about the dog’s name, the owner says, “Askit”.
Wheres_that_to , Mariela Ferbo Report
My cats name growing up was Edward Scissor Paws.
schuser , MChe Lee Report
Vet tech here, we did a minor surgery on a cat named Bastard yesterday. Nowhere near the top but I can’t remember the ridiculous ones off the top of my head.
unusuallylost , JSB Co. Report
Not a vet, but if any of the ladies from our vet place were here, they’d probably tell the story of me bringing in my sister’s cat to be spayed. And I had to look them in the eyes and tell them this tiny, buzzing calico girl was named “Batman.” As the lady behind the counter put it, “We’ve had a couple other pets named Batman. None of them were girls, though.” As to why her name was Batman, my sister, who was in her 30’s at the time, just insisted repeatedly that “Batman is a cool name for a girl.”.
AndoraAnaheim , Yerlin Matu Report
Not a vet but my hamsters are named Alexander Hamsterton and Aaron Furr.
FinnSolomon , Kayl Photo Report
When I was 6 I named our dog Kitty.
Questionsforlater Report
I work at a vets, we had to do a call back for advice on a cat named Ballbag.
pippabeemine , Michael Sum Report
DVM Student here. I’ve met: * A cat named Paperwork * A cat named Monkeyslap * A toy Schnauzer named Snackpack * And a Great Dane named “Left Boot”… His human was a 7 year old boy who yelled at me because I misread his name which was written “L. Boot” Which I assumed was a kid trying to write “El Boots”. I was like “El Boots” is an adorable name, did you think of that?" He yelled at me and said, “NO, HE’S JUST ONE BOOT. LEFT BOOT.” Also, my Leopard Gecko’s name is Fitzlizard Darcy…
Mcdickboat Report
Not a vet, but my buddy has a cat named Lucipurr.
Vader_Bomb Report
My sister used to work at a doggy daycare, and there was a dog whose name was Dammit. “Come inside, Dammit!”.
Scarlet-Janefox Report
Not a Vet, but I do work with animals. We had a dog named Lunchbox. Still can’t get over that.
yumyummers , Kateryna Hliznitsova Report
Worked at a day care, bulldog named Potato, was a favorite.
Rockytana , Josue Michel Report
My friend named her cat Albus Purrrrrcival Wool-fric (he’s SUPER fluffy) Brian Fluffledore. She calls him by his full name in all it’s glory when he is naughty.
notreallyamango Report
Sister has Nospurratu.
Alvraen Report
Used to be a vet tech. There was a dog named Possum. Thought that was an odd name, until you walked up to the dog and it dropped to the ground and rolled over onto it’s back. Most fitting name ever.
dr-brennan Report
Not a vet but my neighbour had a dog called deefer (d for)… The dog’s name was literally ‘deefer dog’ (d for dog) .
ArcadianAgent Report
I have a rescue husky who was abandoned at a petrol station in Cyprus. We named him Diesel.
Trivius Report
My brother’s cat was called Tiba. He didn’t want a cat, it kind of moved in. He took it to the vet and, because it didn’t have a name was marked “TBA” (To Be Announced).
oddtee Report
Grandpa is a vet, but these pets were in the family. “Migraine” - yellow lab, “Alfonzo Horatio Montego III” - I don’t know what breed he was. He was about 70 lbs, “Henry Jesus” - huge gray and spotted Shepard that was born an only child. “Mecca” or “Mecca Lecca High Mecca Hiney Ho” - Her b**t had so much emotion. There’s more but those are the ones off the top of my head.
sowhatifimdead , Jan Baborák Report
Funniest name I ever heard of (Not a vet) was “Serenity meow”.
The_Governor_02 Report
Okay, not a vet, but my bf and I were walking through campus one night. We hear vicious barking nearby, followed by a stern, male voice saying “be quiet, Biscuit!” Just the juxtaposition of the downright feral growling and the fact that the dogs name was Biscuit had us in stitches.
dannixxphantom Report
Had a cat come in named Ghostface Killah once. He was all black with a white “mask” on his face so it fit pretty well.
87Kessel Report
Not a vet but my mom named her guinea pigs Scratch and Sniff. We also have a dog who was originally named MJ (As in Mary Jane, not Micheal Jackson. We had a dog named Spidie (which is a short form of Spiderman) at the time so it fit) but was nicknamed Noodle after getting a spaghetti noodle stuck to her face for half an hour. This is now what she responds to and therefore her name. Noodle’s a good dog. Also, my goldfish was named Magikarp. This is the only one that was entirely my fault. The other ones were my parents’ ideas.
everlastingSnow Report
My friend got a kitten for her son and he named it Shoe.
AngryUnicorn479 Report
Crazy cat lady here. The best pet names I’ve heard are Speed Bump for a tortoise and Schrodinger for a cat. I’m stealing that one.
Birch2011 Report
My parents rescued a staffordshire terrier and a pitbull mix. Staffie was named Bogart (Bogie for short) and my parents didn’t change his name. My dad started calling him BigHead. Now he only responds to BigHead. His name is down as BigHead on vet and groomer records. People think my dad is being mean until they see this dog. He really does have a rather large head.
anon Report
Our cats are Maverick and Goose.
P_Rigger Report
Dog in my service dog class was named toast.
anon , Milli Report
I work at a doggie daycare. We have had a mini aussie named Crowbar, a cavalier named Chanel No. 5, and a schnoodle named Mr. Pickles. Also, one client with the last name Crowe got her dog from a shelter and kept the name they gave him, which is Jim.
c_d26 , Elliott Rothman Report
Am a tech. Once had a olive yellow lab named Dawg at some point. Last week we had this really small yet chuncky chihuahua named Walnut who couldnt keep her tongue in her mouth. There was a dog I was instructed to not even go near as he’s extremely aggressive and needs to be calm for his groom. His name is Hayden so I’m expecting some giant GSD or something. No. It was a small all brown, ancient cocker spaniel.
anon Report
Veterinarian here. Upinsmoke ( a Persian cat) Car number nine ( another cat) A lady with 4 cats - Elvis , Bosom, Jesus and Barbara Dog called Sol ( our Sol = arsole) Bat man, a cat with facial markings like a mask The Kid Sampson = a bulldog The nurses name all wild crows Russell and seagulls, Steven Forgot about Bizzle Chips (bullmastif) and Gravel (my own dog) Gravel had a gritty childhood.
broccolirulesmylife Report
Friend of mine has an outdoor cat who hangs out on the driveway. Cat’s name is Parkon.
Dippy_Egg Report
We have a regular customer who has named their cat, “ cat” but in binary code.
edaff4 Report
Another vet tech here, we did surgery recently on a 20ft anaconda named “Satan”.
JM_2016 Report
My nephew named his cat Farmer and his dog Pancake.
spinner198 Report
Tiny 3month old baby kittrn that barely meowed named…Khal Drogo.
drpotniatheron Report
NAV but had a kitten named “fishbait” when I was a kid.
that1whitedude Report
Not a vet, but have friends with cat named battlestation.
mfcrunchy Report
A cow named Freaky Girl.
RoryDeanWinning Report
Vet tech in training, we had a rabbit come through with a German name that translated to lunch meat I think lol.
ThatGuySlay Report
My husband’s parents had two cats named Watson and Crick. Now they just have Crick, who is a marshmellow of a cat.
whiskey__throwaway Report
Not a vet, but work at a vet clinic (kennel worker). We had two dogs come in named “Peanut Butter” (male) and “Butter Cookie” (female). Both responded exclusively to “Butter.” Another time, we had a mean pom named “Puppylove.”.
chernoushka Report
I met a one eyed dog named Fetty Pup.
i_paint_things Report
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