She married the man of her dreams and was supposed to live happily ever after. Everything changed when her husband’s ex dropped a bombshell that he has secret lovechild – a 12-year-old daughter – who would be moving in with him permanently.

The news couldn’t have come at a worse time. The wife is pregnant with their first child together and the stepdaughter wants nothing to do with the baby. As the mood in her home reached an all-time low, the woman reached out to the internet for advice. What she was about to learn would shake her world to the core.

She had a happy marriage with the man of her dreams, and a baby on the way

Woman looking distressed and thoughtful at home, reflecting on man’s marriage on the rocks after learning about a 12-year-old daughter.

Woman looking distressed and thoughtful at home, reflecting on man's marriage on the rocks after learning about a 12-year-old daughter. - 1

Then her husband’s secret lovechild rocked up at her door and her world changed forever

Man’s marriage struggles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and kept it secret for years.

Man’s marriage struggles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and kept it secret for years. - 2

Text excerpt about a relationship leading to moving in together amid man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter.

Text excerpt about a relationship leading to moving in together amid man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter. - 3

Text excerpt about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and felt lied to.

Text excerpt about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and felt lied to. - 4

Man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter he never knew about.

Man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter he never knew about. - 5

Text excerpt about family conflict and a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter and deception.

Text excerpt about family conflict and a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter and deception. - 6

Text excerpt about a man’s marriage struggles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter he was unaware of.

Text excerpt about a man’s marriage struggles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter he was unaware of. - 7

Text discussing tension in a man’s marriage after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter hiding secrets.

Text discussing tension in a man’s marriage after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter hiding secrets. - 8

Text excerpt showing a man feeling distant and unloved in his marriage after learning about his 12-year-old daughter.

Text excerpt showing a man feeling distant and unloved in his marriage after learning about his 12-year-old daughter. - 9

Young girl holding remote control lying on floor, symbolizing man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12YO daughter.

Young girl holding remote control lying on floor, symbolizing man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12YO daughter. - 10

Text discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter he was unaware of.

Text discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter he was unaware of. - 11

Text excerpt about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and feeling betrayed.

Text excerpt about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and feeling betrayed. - 12

Text message excerpt discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Text message excerpt discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 13

Many understood why the 12YO was acting out and suggested the couple goes for therapy

Comment text discussing family therapy and emotional challenges after learning about a 12-year-old daughter affecting a man’s marriage.

Comment text discussing family therapy and emotional challenges after learning about a 12-year-old daughter affecting a man’s marriage. - 14

Comment discussing a man’s marriage struggles after learning about his 12-year-old daughter he kept secret for years.

Comment discussing a man's marriage struggles after learning about his 12-year-old daughter he kept secret for years. - 15

Screenshot of an online comment discussing support and challenges in a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing support and challenges in a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 16

Comment from a user discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter hidden from him.

Comment from a user discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter hidden from him. - 17

Screenshot of an online comment advising to stay with parents and take a break amid a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning about a 12YO daughter.

Screenshot of an online comment advising to stay with parents and take a break amid a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning about a 12YO daughter. - 18

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 19

Screenshot of an online comment discussing the man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing the man's marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 20

Screenshot of a comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 21

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing marriage stress after discovering a man has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing marriage stress after discovering a man has a 12-year-old daughter. - 22

Alt text: Reddit comment discussing man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and dealing with family conflict.

Alt text: Reddit comment discussing man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and dealing with family conflict. - 23

Alt text: Online forum comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Alt text: Online forum comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 24

Comment discussing man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and the lies involved.

Comment discussing man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and the lies involved. - 25

Comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and was lied to.

Comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and was lied to. - 26

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing challenges in a man’s marriage after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing challenges in a man’s marriage after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 27

Screenshot of online comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter

Screenshot of online comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter - 28

Comment discussing counseling and challenges in a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning about his 12-year-old daughter.

Comment discussing counseling and challenges in a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning about his 12-year-old daughter. - 29

“Almost the same thing happened to us”: some shared their own similar stories

Comment discussing advice on handling a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Comment discussing advice on handling a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 30

Comment text about a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter dealing with family therapy.

Comment text about a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter dealing with family therapy. - 31

The woman dropped a bombshell when she came back to update netizens on the situation

Text excerpt showing emotional message about a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Text excerpt showing emotional message about a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 32

Couple having an intense argument in a room, illustrating a man’s marriage on the rocks over his 12-year-old daughter secret.

Couple having an intense argument in a room, illustrating a man’s marriage on the rocks over his 12-year-old daughter secret. - 33

Text excerpt revealing a man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and years of lies.

Text excerpt revealing a man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and years of lies. - 34

Screenshot of a message expressing anger after learning about a 12-year-old daughter and marriage troubles.

Screenshot of a message expressing anger after learning about a 12-year-old daughter and marriage troubles. - 35

How to deal with deep betrayal, according to experts

It goes without saying that deep betrayal by your spouse or partner is not easy to get over. In severe cases. It can actually lead to something known as betrayal trauma. Scientists say that a romantic partner’s betrayal is deemed to be a form of interpersonal trauma. The effects of your partner’s actions are clinically significant.

“Between 30% and 60% of those who experienced romantic betrayal showed symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety,” reveals VeryWell Mind. “Betrayal trauma can also affect self-esteem, lead to distrust in relationships, and cause mental health challenges.”

Pregnant Woman Wants A Divorce After Finding Out Who Her Husband Really Is - 36

Experts say there are a few steps you can take to help you heal, and before you decide whether you ultimately want to stay or leave the relationship.

The first is to acknowledge the betrayal. You need to allow yourself to let go of denial so that you can get to a place of acceptance. The next is to sit with your feelings. “Feeling anger, disappointment, shame, or emotional pain is perfectly reasonable. It’s helpful to name your emotions, too,” suggests the site. “After all, an intimate bond has been broken, so it’s valid to feel these things.”

However, the experts say that at some point, you need need to be able to let go of the negative emotions like self-pity and regret. Give yourself time to reflect on how your relationship was before the betrayal, and be honest. Did you play a role in the breakdown of the relationship at all? Were you both moving forward together, or in completely different directions? What has the relationship provided you with? Did it add value to your life or leave you feeling depleted?

“This isn’t about blaming yourself but objectively looking at the big picture,” notes VeryWell Mind. “Consider taking a break. If you feel the relationship is salvageable, you can still take a break from the person who betrayed you. This can help you gain more clarity about the situation.” Now would be a good time to set some boundaries.

Relationship experts advise taking time to grieve, whether or not you’re considering ending it. And that’s because the relationship as you once knew it has now changed.

“Practice self-compassion,” adds VeryWell Mind. “Recognize your own bravery and that you discovered more about yourself and life. Betrayal can lead to growth, wisdom, and maturity.”

Know that it is okay to walk away if that’s what you feel is right for you. You don’t have to stay in a relationship that doesn’t bring you joy, and never allow anyone to pressure you to do so.

“Sue for fraud”: people felt she shouldn’t let the husband get off lightly

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing hiring a private investigator amid man’s marriage on the rocks after learning of 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing hiring a private investigator amid man’s marriage on the rocks after learning of 12-year-old daughter. - 37

Comment expressing support for a woman leaving a man after discovering a 12-year-old daughter and years of lies.

Comment expressing support for a woman leaving a man after discovering a 12-year-old daughter and years of lies. - 38

Screenshot of an online comment suggesting legal action after a man’s marriage is on the rocks over a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of an online comment suggesting legal action after a man’s marriage is on the rocks over a 12-year-old daughter. - 39

Reddit comment highlighting a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Reddit comment highlighting a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 40

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 41

Screenshot of a comment expressing concern about a baby’s safety due to jealousy from an older sibling.

Screenshot of a comment expressing concern about a baby’s safety due to jealousy from an older sibling. - 42

Screenshot of a Reddit comment expressing sympathy about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment expressing sympathy about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter. - 43

Alt text: Online comment discussing man’s marriage struggles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and past lies exposed

Alt text: Online comment discussing man’s marriage struggles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and past lies exposed - 44

Screenshot of a social media comment urging to expose a man whose marriage is on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a social media comment urging to expose a man whose marriage is on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 45

Alt text: Man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter, feeling betrayed and lied to for years.

Alt text: Man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter, feeling betrayed and lied to for years. - 46

Comment advising a forensic accounting for divorce funds after man’s marriage issues and hidden child support revealed.

Comment advising a forensic accounting for divorce funds after man’s marriage issues and hidden child support revealed. - 47

Screenshot of a Reddit comment offering love and support amid man’s marriage on the rocks after learning about his 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment offering love and support amid man’s marriage on the rocks after learning about his 12-year-old daughter. - 48

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 49

Screenshot of a Reddit comment expressing anger about a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment expressing anger about a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 50 Pregnant Woman Wants A Divorce After Finding Out Who Her Husband Really Is - 51

Comment expressing sympathy after man’s marriage troubles due to discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Comment expressing sympathy after man’s marriage troubles due to discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 52

Screenshot of an online comment about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of an online comment about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 53

Comment about a mother sending her child to live with an unknown father and relief over discovering the truth and leaving.

Comment about a mother sending her child to live with an unknown father and relief over discovering the truth and leaving. - 54

Screenshot of a forum comment advising to get a lawyer and divorce amid a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning about a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a forum comment advising to get a lawyer and divorce amid a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning about a 12-year-old daughter. - 55

Man looking distressed in a dimly lit room, symbolizing a marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter.

Man looking distressed in a dimly lit room, symbolizing a marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter. - 56

Comment expressing sympathy for a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Comment expressing sympathy for a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 57

Screenshot of an online comment expressing sympathy about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of an online comment expressing sympathy about a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering a 12-year-old daughter. - 58

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a nursery and caring for a baby in relation to family dynamics.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a nursery and caring for a baby in relation to family dynamics. - 59

Screenshot of a Reddit comment expressing anger and support in a discussion about a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment expressing anger and support in a discussion about a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 60

Man reflecting on marriage struggles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and years of lies revealed.

Man reflecting on marriage struggles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter and years of lies revealed. - 61

Screenshot of an online forum post discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of an online forum post discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 62

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man’s marriage on the rocks after learning he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 63

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man’s marriage troubles after discovering he has a 12-year-old daughter. - 64

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