Sometimes the world feels like an unfair place. You can’t help but wonder why we are often supposed to do things we shouldn’t be. Like getting a call from work on your day off or being close to your family members just because they’re family and not because you like them. Or shaming coworkers when they leave work on time.
And it turns out, there are many more things that are universally considered as normal, when in fact they’re the exact opposite. It’s just that nobody talks about it. So this Ask Reddit thread has people calling out real-life examples that are “unhealthy, toxic, unfair or unethical” in disguise as perfectly acceptable.
That you are supposed to be close to/loyal to family because they’re family. My family, my mother especially, is abusive and manipulative. People say, “but it’s your MOM, you only have one MOM.” I say they don’t act like family so I don’t consider them family.
Inevitable_Molasses Report
Parents expecting their kids to respect them no matter how disrespectful, rude, or abusive they are to their kids. Edit: to all those replying to me as if I’m some spoiled 16 year old; I’m 22 with my own kids. I was constantly called a bh and a ct growing up, beaten, manipulated, and then told to get over it by the very person who did all these things to me. So if y’all would kindly fk off with your gaslighting b*****t that’d be great. No one here needs to hear your uninformed and well… abusive opinions. :)
dyvrom Report
Shaming workmates when they go home on time. “Wow, you’re going home on the dot?” “Yes karen, cause i do my work fast so i can do my hobbies and go to the gym, while you rot away trying to impress the company that will never care about you.”
bohenian12 Report
Beauty pageants for kids
ahivarn Report
Older people using “respect your elders,” as a cop-out to being shitty to younger family members and not being held accountable for it.
grizzfan Report
Nurses: fighting for 2% payrise. Politicians: “Sorry not enough money in the budget for that” Politicians: Give themselves 16% payrise
Wafflestomper999 Report
Telling people who are extremely happy over a new purchase why it’s shitty or why they shouldn’t have done it. I had a buddy who went from an old beat up pickup to a brand new Mazda 3. It looks amazing, is a manual, etc. One of our old friends harassed the living hell out of him telling him that it was a girls car, and that he should’ve just fixed up his old beater because it was more “manly” meanwhile this other guy is literally driving a car that is completely falling apart. My buddy looked so discouraged and sad. I did the best I could to tell him how awesome his car is, and how much better the technology is in it compared to my older Saab. This guy worked a ton of overtime saving as much as possble while working a barely higher than minimum wage job to get a decent down payment so he would have a nice monthly payment just to have his greatest accomplishment s**t all over. It is sickening.
Bussey83 Report
Teachers spending their own money on classroom supplies. Along with the mentality that if you aren’t sacrificing your entire life “for the kids” that you aren’t a good teacher.
Forky7 , Kenny Eliason Report
If someone asks you a yes or no question and you say no then they try to persuade you and get hostile and then expect you to do it anyway. That’s not a question but a demand. F**k those people.
anon Report
The school system and how it deals with fights. Whenever a kid is minding his own business and another kid beats the st out of him then they BOTH get in trouble. What the fk?
anon Report
The idea you can’t have a healthy romantic relationship unless you have fights. I don’t mean like disagreements - I mean like full-on, screaming at each other, throwing stuff fights. I’ve had people literally tell me if you don’t have fights like this with your partner, then you’re hiding stuff from each other. Horrible, toxic fights don’t equate to having an emotionally healthy relationship. Edit: wow! Didn’t expect this to blow up - I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking this way. Also thanks for the silver!
silmaril_023 Report
I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but porn is extremely addictive, gives people unrealistic expectations of sex, and is reason why numerous people are forced into sex trafficking Edit: Thanks for the silver/gold!!
usernamepassword , DANNY G Report
Overly possessive significant others. Jealousy is not a sign of passion it’s a sign of instability.
knnbreakingnews Report
Instagram influencers and YouTube celebrities like the Paul brothers.
pajamakitten Report
Cheerleading in high school. Was a goth weirdo girl in high school and joined cheerleading as a joke like “look anyone can do it” and those uniforms made me so uncomfortable. You can’t bend over even slightly without flashing your a*s to everyone because the skirts are so short. But it’s ok because you’re wearing “spanx” (tiny tight elastic underwear). They skirts look longer than they are because they are higher waisted. In reality they stop right under your buttcheek. We had strict dress codes at school (I once got in trouble for wearing shorts that my mother had picked out for me. They couldn’t have been that bad if my over-protective mother bought them for me) but was allowed-actually it was mandatory, for us to wear uniforms on game days/ spirit days/ whatever the hell. On top of that, the IDEA of cheerleaders were weird. A game needs attractive girls to cheer on the boys? Part of our uniform is to be sexually appealing? So weird. I understand it’s a legitimate sport, I’m not talking about competitive cheerleading as a sport itself. I’m a black belt in Martial Arts and I remember being impressed by the athleticism of the high-performing girls. I’m talking about cheerleading as it is utilized in the school system.
Halloween_Queen1331 Report
Forcing somebody who is clearly sick to go to work/school. Like oh gee thanks for forcing your kid upon us, now we get to watch the plague rip through the school. Edit: Thank you all for the input on this. It’s super cool seeing a bunch of perspectives being put together like this. Edit 2: Thank you guys for the platinum! It’s really kind of whoever gave it.
Mister_4Eyes Report
When parents tell their little girls that the reason that boy is mean to her is because he likes her. Kids keep that same energy as adults and wonder why then can’t leave that dude being a complete and utter a*****e
spanish429 Report
Overweight/obese children being considered “normal” or “healthy” by their parents who are blind to how unhealthy they’re making their children.
paperclip1213 Report
People from work calling you on your day off.
anon Report
American work culture. Working while sick, working overtime, poor work/life balance, etc…
SomeDEGuy , LYCS Architecture Report
Telling people how to feel or forcibly trying to change how they feel. If someone’s sad, comfort them and let them be sad. If someone’s angry, then let them be angry and work out their frustrations (in a healthy manner of course). All my life (24M BTW) I’ve been told that I shouldn’t be angry or that I “have no reason to be depressed”. This caused me to fake happiness, and you know what it got me? It got me panic attacks, screamed at for having panic attacks because they thought I was “faking” or needed “to toughen up”, and a burning anger that never seems to go away. To this day I have trouble feeling emotions other than anger or sadness because I was never allowed to work them out when I was younger. TLDR: Don’t tell people how to feel. Emotions are human and we need to work them out.
liquidpwnage Report
I’m late, but Our alcohol culture, especially for young people. I feel like it’s being normalized to over indulge in alcohol, to the point where I know alcoholics who think that what they do is what everybody does.
KafkaesqueLife , Kelsey Chance Report
The idea that men have to hate being married, and the constant joking about how their wives are weighing them down
PineMarte Report
The way people in fast food and other customer service related jobs are treated.
PracticalFix1 Report
The idea that a woman’s value is in her appearance, what’s worse is that girls I know are more responsible for this than guys
GumbyGamer Report
Acting like there is something wrong with someone for being a virgin.
reuelm , Alexander Popov Report
The Mommy wine culture. I get so tired of seeing “mommy’s sippy cup” and “mom’s time out” on wine glasses. The whole culture of it is just silly, mom’s can relax without a glass of wine. Edit: I like wine too, but I don’t blame my drinking of it on my kids.
anon Report
Belittling others to pump up your own self-esteem.
anon Report
Staying in abusive relationships, just because there isn’t physical abuse. “I put up with it because I love him.” You shouldn’t be put through torture because you love someone.
anon Report
Telling men to “man up” and “not cry” because it’s perceived as girly by whoever the fk told them. It’s the most unhealthy thing to tell a person that they shouldn’t feel their emotions. Bottling that st up can only cause harm, anger, and resentment. Let people feel their feelings for f***s sake Edit: ok a few things here 1) thank you for the silver, kind stranger! 2) I meant that you should cry in appropriate situations, definitely learn how to suck it up for a bit than release it later 3) I’m a lady
borgashmord , Ben Hershey Report
THE SILENT TREATMENT. it’s f*****g abusive. i don’t mean 5 minutes of silence to collect your thoughts, i don’t mean saying ’leave me alone’, i mean pretending that your partner/child/friend just doesn’t exist, and letting them crumple in on themselves for a crime that you won’t talk to them about.
anon Report
chobblegobbler898 , Drew Jemmett Report
Being forced to work for free in order to keep your job.
MaliciousPorpoise Report
tubewatch Report
Not sure if this is actually considered normal, but I have seen push-up bras marketed to pre-teens and teens (known as the Junior’s section here in the US) in the lingerie area of stores like Target. Since when does any teen girl need or should be encouraged to wear a push-up bra for extra cleaveage? Edited to add a link for Target’s juniors “intimates” online store: https://www.target.com/c/juniors-intimates-clothing-women/-/N-551uz Edit: Holy post blow up, Batman! Thank you kind stranger for the Silver! Edit 2: to the women who still buy in Juniors sizes.. while it fits you, it isn’t the target demographic that the sizes are marketed to. Ask yourself why these companies don’t carry sizes for your size in women’s sizes vs Juniors, which are obviously pre-teen and teen sizes and styles. Fit and size is one thing, actual target market is another.
Meschugena Report
Unpaid internships
dt971 , Towfiqu barbhuiya Report
Parents that want to be in control of their adult child’s life. Notice I said adult child. Some parents want to continue to tell what their 18+ (or what ever age is consider an adult where you live) child to do. If they don’t do what their parents say, the parents throws a temper tantrum and makes viscous threats towards the child. People need to stop acting like parents can’t be extremely toxic and abusive people too. Living with artistic parents is absolute hell that gives the child various health and mental issues throughout their whole life.
curlyquinn02 Report
“Smile!” “F**k you and everyone you know.”
Penya23 Report
Smoking. I cannot believe that in this age of medical enlightenment people still continue to smoke cigarettes; or that they continue to be available.
dragonbeard311 Report
American healthcare and teachers’ salaries.
ResettisReplicas Report
People that take too serious their instagram/any social media account. I’ve heard friends saying things like: don’t post the photo now! Wait til x hour to get more likes and girls to see it!
Unknown_Soldier_44 Report
Snooping through your SO stuff like phone, Facebook, email, wallet. If you don’t trust someone maybe you shouldn’t be with them? Or practice healthier habits like talking to them about your concerns.
gnarlyknits Report
The bias of news media outlets today. Rich people buy broadcasting networks to control information and manipulate the masses. It really is a damn shame and a significant reason for the problems of our time
anon Report
Circumcision or piercing baby ears.
CoffeeandHoes Report
You can buy a 50 pizza roll bag for less than 4 dollars… (We don’t buy this cp, but comparison sake) but at the same Tom Thumb - organic blueberries (we do buy) cost 6 dollars. Even the non-organic blueberries are something like 4.50 for a tiny container. So… a poor family - what are they to do? Go for the better “value” and eat cp, or eat healthy and it be expensive?
Kether_Nefesh Report
Hospital billing. The legal system in general. Putting people awaiting trial in with the general jail population. Plea bargains for people who can’t make bail. Tolerance of police who are known to have made false reports. Tolerance of “obstruction of arrest” charges that the DA has to drop. Failure to spend adequate money on local law enforcement. Tying school funding to property taxes.
escape_goat Report
I feel like society forces you to interact with people (socializing w/ friends.. etc..) some people just wanna be alone. I hate it when parents say “your anti social, u need to get out more.” There really isn’t anything wrong with wanting to be alone. I wouldn’t call this unhealthy, unethical or toxic. Maybe just unfair? Not sure.
b1uetruth Report
Advertising. At least in today’s world. IMO, it’s reached a point of being both toxic and unethical. Mainly telemarketing. The gov needs to start enforcing the laws.
cadomski , Pawel Czerwinski Report
Not sleeping adequately. I hate not keeping my sleeping routine on the weekends or not getting a full night of sleep (which means going to bed by 10:30 lol), but it seems like a lot of people around me brag about getting 4 hours of sleep a night or sleep at 3 or 4 in the morning on weekends. Not healthy!
cullies , Lux Graves Report
Employers discouraging employees from discussing wages. Having to take on tens, or hundreds, of thousands of dollars of debt after highschool. I’m all for post secondary education being a normal part of adulthood, but not at the cost of potentially crippling debt.
MacintoshEddie Report
The meat, dairy, and egg industries. Not a vegan, but we all know exactly the kind of horrible mistreatment that goes on and we just kinda accept it for our own benefit. Edit: Thanks for the silver! Glad to see some productive conversation being sparked and hopefully we can all at least make a small impact :)
TheCozyYogi Report
saying youre fine when all you want to do is scream
nage_ Report
We’re really in love with the idea of being in love, and it’s absolutely unhealthy. The normalization of romantic coupling to the point where a man and a woman need to title a friendship as a “platonic relationship” to imply that there is absolutely no sexual attraction, and that “just friends” is somehow a downgrade from a sexual relationship. People feel some stupid need to ship everyone, completely unaware that some people are just fine by themselves. This focus and desire for romance is absolutely f****d up to the point that we’re willing to put up with absolutely shitty people just so we don’t have to live with the stigma of being alone. That’s a bit crazy.
zenspeed Report
Thinking we’re better than other people because we were born in a “better” country.
somepeoplewait Report
You can’t be friends with “this person” because someone had a falling out with them, they have a significant other, someone you know just doesn’t like them.I should be able to be friends with whoever the f**k I want but people can’t be adults
selym11 Report
Lying to people in order to try and get them to have sex with you. A friend of a friend does it to women regularly and I’ve had a couple women do it to me; everyone seems to tolerate this behavior despite it being super violating and unethical.
CommonRedditUserName Report
Unpaid maternity leave
imakebadspaghetti Report
Hot mess parents who don’t have their s**t together. Now, before I am raked across the coals let me explain. I am speaking about how the positive effort to not mom shame and the reality that moms are not perfect has swung too far. It is now becoming acceptable to excuse awful mothers/parenting because people keep claiming we cannot “mom shame.” When a parent is neglectful, puts too much time and effort into anything but their kids, irresponsible and doesn’t provide a decent environment for their kids, that isn’t a good thing and shouldn’t be given a free pass with a witty saying of “don’t mom shame.” I see mom’s bragging that they haven’t done laundry in weeks, forgot to pack their kids lunch again and their kids have eaten fast food every night because “hey, mom life is rough, teehee, let’s have some mommy juice/wine.” If anyone says anything about maybe you should start a load of laundry or just try to cook a simple meal, people attack them as shamers. It has swung too far. Lazy, awful parents are benefitting from it and it is toxic and unfair to the kids. And yes, I know dad’s exist too. However, I am speaking about personal experience as a mother and the mom culture.
CybReader Report
Making some jobs completely permanent, like tenured professors or judges. Lots of reasons.
MissInformation8 Report
The widespread proliferation of wilful ignorance.
martixy Report
How normalized bullying and abuse is. We don’t even realize just how many a***e moves we use in common interaction with each other daily, and that’s why we have so many assholes who enter abusive friendships, relationships and marriages and then destroy perfectly good people who didn’t deserve that st.
anon Report
Pushing people to go into debt for “education”, then refusing to give them even the jobs that require that “education”.
anon Report
Jealousy in relationships. Tons of people WANT their SO to be jealous and possessive of them if people of the opposite sex are around. They think a jealous SO means they value you, but in reality it means they dont trust you. The threat of their SO cheating is what causes jealousy, or the insecurity that their SO will leave them for someone else. In a healthy, trusting relationship, jealousy is minimized. Healthy jealousy is when you feel like you’re not receiving enough of something from your SO (attention, affection, time, etc), but someone else is. In that case, you discuss your feelings and take steps for you to feel like your emotional needs are being met. Jealousy over all is just waaayyy too overly accepted as “normal”.
Seesyounaked Report
The word “toxic” has been overused so much it’s now actually toxic itself.
I_hate_traveling Report
Praising grades/scores rather than the effort put in to achieving it. It trains people to give up at the things that don’t come as easily to them as it does to others. Getting good grades is a small accomplishment compared to developing the ability to keep putting in effort even when there is no immediate reward.
donediditmike Report
Working 40+ hours a week is seen as a good thing. F**k that. I work part time and I’m better for it, both physically and mentally. Don’t sacrifice your well being just to make society happy. Your mental health should always come first. Edit: I know everyone had different circumstances, my comment was just a broad generalisation. I don’t mean like cut 60h down to 10h. Just take the comment as you wish.
MeMuzzta Report
The grinding culture. What I mean by that are the people who constantly glorify their lifestyle of working 40-50 hours or more a week and then using their free time to work some other job or hustle. It’s great that you’re making and saving a ton of money, but at what cost? I just don’t think it’s worth it to neglect your mental health and go without enough time to rest and sleep.
kylexy929 Report
Debt, at least at the levels Americans take it on. Sometimes emergencies arise and there’s no other option but continually spending money you don’t have just to keep up appearances is extremely toxic.
Weird_Map_Guy , Kenny Eliason Report
Pressure to go to college. There is nothing wrong about parents wanting their kids to get an education. There’s nothing wrong with kids wanting to learn a lot about a subject. There’s a ton of st wrong with creating societal pressure for kids to foot the bill for tens of thousands of dollars worth of school when they have no f***g clue what they want to do in life. Folks, if you want your kids to go to college, you pay for it. That goal is your baggage, not theirs. My parents told me constantly that they’d be so disappointed if I didn’t go to school, but I didn’t get a penny to pay for it. I paid $50,000 and spent four years in school so my parents would be happy. Not great.
anon Report
Parents who think their disabled/neurodivergent child is excluded from things like privacy and dignity, especially if they wouldn’t post the same kind of material about their able bodied neurotypical child.
invisiblebody Report
Codependency. All the romantic comedies are chalk full of codependent people who are painted as heros. It’s pretty bad once you see it- and you can’t see anything else.
Nwcray Report
Anything beyond a 40 hour work week.
anon Report
Screen addiction.
GimmeGimmeNews Report
People being part of an MLM. These companies preying on (mostly) women and making it seem like they can support their families pushing these b******t products on everyone is so toxic and unethical it’s sickening! Edit: words are hard
cnfmom Report
The whole sidechick thing. Where it’s just assumed that your partner is unfaithful, so you might as well be too. I have nothing against open and honest relationships, but damn this is another animal entirely.
scoyne15 Report
s******g on people you disagree with.
JustaCrackintheWall Report
In Brazil, students that lead a completely unhealthy routine of studying and consequently get top grades are “advertised” as role models to other students. The problem is most of them give up their lives to do that. They stop doing anything that would be considered “relaxing”, including sleeping. They get top grades, yes, but at a high mental cost.
mfreixiela Report
Working 8 hours a day. The times where this would have been necessary are long over
Holonist Report
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Olympian Makes Stunning Admission After Judge’s Conspicuous Scores Ignite Cheating Accusations
