Parenting is about giving your children the best chance at life to succeed. Some go out of their way by immigrating to other countries where they don’t know the language or working three jobs. Yet others don’t take that many sacrifices and sometimes even act quite narcissistic .
These parents literally took away their 17 year-old son’s chance at a better life when they hid his athletic scholarship letters. In a strange power move, they decided to share them with him seven years later, when the guy was 24. This story sparked an online debate about why some parents take away opportunities from their kids and how family relationships might be affected after something like that.
These parents lied to their 17 Y.O. son that he didn’t get into the best universities in the country and only told him 7 years later
Envelopes from Ivy League universities and military academies related to athlete scholarship opportunities.
This story was shared by his wife: “I am constantly reforgiving them”
Tweet text discussing a 17-year-old athlete kept in the dark about Ivy League scholarships by his parents for years.
Tweet discussing a 17-year-old athlete kept in the dark about Ivy League scholarships by his parents for seven years.
Twitter conversation about a 17-year-old athlete missing Ivy League scholarships due to parents withholding information.
Tweet conversation about a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships until parents revealed truth years later.
Screenshot of a Twitter conversation about a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships shared by parents after 7 years.
Screenshot of a Twitter exchange about a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships.
Screenshot of a Twitter exchange discussing a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships until years later.
Screenshot of a social media thread discussing a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarship issues shared by parents years later.
Narcissistic or authoritarian parents may withhold opportunities from their children
What could drive parents to do such a thing and prevent their child from having better chances in life? Some parents might believe that a 4-year college education simply isn’t worth it anymore, as a recent poll shows: 46% of American parents say they would prefer not to send their children to a four-year college after high school.
For other parents, financial constraints might play a role. Even if their child receives a scholarship , it might not be enough to cover the living expenses for the four years of studying at an Ivy League college or West Point Academy.
However, in this case, it seems that the parents just wanted to exercise control over their son and did it in one of the worst ways imaginable. Julie L. Hall, the author of The Narcissist in Your Life , writes that parents who sabotage their children are often narcissistic.
Such parents devalue their children, their interests, and their strengths. “Unless their children’s interests and strengths reflect their own values or give them bragging rights, narcissistic parents ignore or actively malign their kids’ passions,” Hall explains.
And this teen athlete wasn’t just your run-of-the-mill student. Yale has a 4.6% acceptance rate, Cornell’s was 7% in 2024, and the United States Military Academy in West Point, New York, has an acceptance rate of 12%. An athlete who gets scholarships from these kinds of schools is bound to be smart, even if their parents don’t think so.
Loving, supporting parents would never take away opportunities from their children. Unfortunately for this teen, his parents didn’t have the emotional maturity for that and showed no remorse even when they came clean.
Parents should support their children in achieving their dreams and getting the best education that they can
However wild and heartbreaking this story may be, it begs us to ask the question: just how involved in their teens’ college scholarships/admissions process should parents be? Keith Moon, associate dean of Harvard’s Summer School Program, explains that this is the teen’s first adult decision. “It’s important to empower your children to make the decision that’s best for them, he says.
But what are some practical steps parents can take?
- Help them discover their passion . Whether it’s a sport or a career in STEM, parents should encourage their child to discover their career path for themselves. “We need to give them space to figure it out and to change, and encourage them along the way,” associate director of Harvard Crimson Summer Academy Joseph Walcott Lewis says.
- Help them with scholarships. Whether that’s searching, applying, or keeping track of deadlines, requirements, and letters of application, parents can help their teens get the scholarships they want.
- Keep them motivated . If the teen is feeling discouraged, parents can set up a reward system. Either treat them with a meal, update their wardrobe, give them time off during the weekend, offer extra allowance, or match their scholarship dollars.
- Don’t be a helicopter parent . Check in once a week or focus on key deadlines, but don’t micromanage. That can only aggravate and stress the student out more.
- Take them on college tours. “Allowing the student to drive that process is a really good thing,” Harvard’s Summer School Program associate dean Keith Moon says. “This shouldn’t be mom or dad’s list of schools to see; it should be the student’s list.”
And, most importantly, be your teen’s cheerleader. Whatever path they decide to take and whichever school they choose, keep encouraging them throughout. The key thing is listening; it’s the most important thing a parent can do,” Moon believes.
Surprisingly, there were many others whose parents prevented them the best chance at higher education
Screenshot of a Twitter post about a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships until parents reveal after 7 years.
Screenshot of a Twitter post discussing family financial struggles and home sales amid a 17-year-old athlete’s Ivy League scholarship concerns.
Screenshot of a tweet discussing a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships due to parental silence for years.
Tweet by Marie about parents sabotaging education in low income areas and fear related to Ivy League scholarships.
Tweet showing a user commenting on parent sabotage and its impact on children, related to Ivy League scholarships.
Screenshot of a Twitter reply discussing a 17-year-old athlete’s experience with Ivy League scholarships and family revelations.
Screenshot of a social media reply about a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships for years.
Screenshot of a social media reply discussing challenges related to Ivy League scholarships and parental decisions.
Tweet by user Jay questioning if atonement or remorse has been expressed, related to athlete and Ivy League scholarships issue.
Screenshot of a social media post discussing a federal crime related to Ivy League scholarship issues.
Tweet about a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships as parents reveal info 7 years later.
Tweet by Olúwatósìn Olaseinde about stolen opportunities and income related to a 17-year-old athlete’s Ivy League scholarship situation.
Screenshot of tweet discussing parents talking down to kids related to Ivy League scholarships and athlete’s delayed knowledge.
Tweet about parents discouraging college and mentioning military paying for education, related to Ivy League scholarships.
Screenshot of a tweet about a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships until parents reveal after seven years.
Tweet explaining how parents misled a 17-year-old athlete about Ivy League scholarships and college opportunities for years.
Tweet by Clint Murphy reacting to a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships revealed by parents years later.
Tweet discussing a 17-year-old athlete kept in the dark about Ivy League scholarships by parents for seven years.
Tweet discussing parents limiting their 17-year-old athlete, affecting potential and Ivy League scholarship chances.
Tweet from Carole Mac sharing disbelief about four of the most selective Ivy League colleges in the country.
Tweet from VT Mountain Man sharing a story about being accepted to Stanford and his mother’s reaction during his excitement.
Screenshot of a tweet about a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships until much later.
Screenshot of a tweet discussing a 17-year-old athlete’s struggles with Ivy League scholarships and delayed parental disclosure.
Screenshot of a tweet about a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships until parents reveal after seven years.
Screenshot of a social media post highlighting a 17-year-old athlete unaware of Ivy League scholarships due to parental silence.
Screenshot of a tweet by Woodworking For Ross Ulbricht expressing regret about speaking to parents regarding Ivy League scholarships.
Screenshot of a tweet discussing a 17-year-old athlete kept in the dark about Ivy League scholarships by parents.
Screenshot of a social media post discussing Ivy League scholarship letters and reactions to West Point’s letter.
Tweet about parents hiding Ivy League scholarships, affecting a 17-year-old athlete’s college opportunities.
Screenshot of a social media post discussing consequences related to a physical altercation in an online conversation.
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