One of the best parts of any romantic relationship is slowly getting to know your significant other. However, some behavioral quirks and oddities might not reveal themselves until later in your dating history, when you move in or get married.
Married people who said “I do” to someone from a different country opened up online about the mild cultural shocks that they felt once they got to know their spouses even better. We’ve curated the best stories so you can read all about their experiences.
My husband is Canadian. Universal Healthcare comes up a lot. My super conservative uncle tried to get a rise out of my SIL. “How does it feel paying for everybody else’s health care?” My SIL replied, “I’m glad that my neighbors and coworkers have health care no matter what. If they lose their job they still have treatment for their cancer or anything else that comes up. Why would I hate that?” He was stunned to silence and I loved it! 🥰.
Lighthouse_on_Mars , cottonbro studio Report
American married to a Brit. British person eats something and says ‘that’s quite nice.’ They could mean ‘this is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted’ or ‘I could eat this for the rest of my life’ and there’s no way of knowing (though they swear there is). Repeat with every social interaction.
francienyc , Michael Burrows Report
I have a Belgian husband who could happily eat sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. He never really craves a warm meal, and he is genuinely appreciative even when you cook something very simple for him. Another thing that still surprises me is that Belgians do not eat many vegetables. They usually mash one type of vegetable into potatoes or have green beans on the side. Meat is a must at almost every meal, and there are no naturally vegan or vegetarian dishes in the cuisine.
SubstantialSea7449 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report
Canadian married to an American. It’s always the small things. When we had a kid we realized we sing Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes to different melodies for example. This has resulted in mostly good natured ribbing. She disputes the way I say ‘z’ at the end of the alphabet song. I point out that she fails to complete the rhyme at the end of Itsy Bitsy Spider the way she’s says ‘again’. We have a toddler, this is our life now.
frostedmooseantlers , Gustavo Fring Report
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Dominican/American married an Irish woman: - They’re really into curry. This blew my mind. - They don’t just offer a round of drinks, but they’ll pay for dinner without telling you. Make sure you offer a round. I have a constant war with her dad and uncles over who sneaks off to pay for dinner. - Lock-ins are my favorite thing (pub officially closes, no one is allowed in, but everyone in can enjoy drinks and live music), which goes with the fact that every pub has live music. It’s either playing now, or it’s on the way. - The demographic in the pubs. 18yo sharing a pint with elderly folks to great live music. A guy with a Patek watch singing along with his mates at the same table who clearly don’t make even close to as much as he does (if they do, theyre not showing it, which is kinda the point as well). Glammed-up girls that look like they’re going to a Miami or NYC club queueing at the bar (waiting in line) with people dressed like they’re going to work. No one cares. Everyone’s having a great time. I love it. - Girls and the tanning spray. It’s…wild. - No tabs. You pay as you go. No leaving your card (except for very few places or unless they know you well) with a tab open. No tabs. - Cocktails come with the chaser/mixer on the side. Vodka tonic? One vodka with a small bottle of tonic. W*f… - Huge Liverpool fanbase. Idk why Liverpool. - Butter. It’s NOT in the fridge. Ever.
reddit809 , ready made Report
My husband does everything I say. I thought it was a “he” thing but he says it’s cultural and “in Poland men serve women” (his words). Now you might be thinking “wow, that’s amazing” but I am from Spain, where women are extremely independent. This caused some discomfort early in our relationship: he’d get frustrated if I ordered furniture and built it myself, fixed my own leaky faucet, changed a lightbulb… Then when I was speaking to my (Polish) boss she told me: “You gotta give him tasks, even if you can do them yourself, because otherwise they don’t feel like real men”. It also causes conflict with my mom because he insists on taking heavy shopping bags from her hands, opening doors for her, refilling her drink when we are at a restaurant… and it gets on her nerves. For her treating her like this feels patronising and like he considers her incompetent.
Four_beastlings , Pavel Danilyuk Report
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When I married into a Romanian family and I started going to their parties and dinners, I had to entirely re-learn how to pace myself during a meal. I’m used to dinner being one or two courses at most, very close together and you eat fast and finish in under 30 mins, not a big show. With their family, you sit around and eat bread/spreads for an hour. Then they bring out the light meats, the soups, more spreads, more bread and eat that for an hour. Then the REAL dinner starts with heavy meat, potato dishes, stew dishes, more salads and spreads, etc. The dinner is a 4+ hour ordeal but I’ve stuffed my face in the first 20 minutes and I have to sit there twiddling my thumbs for the rest of the time while all the older generation folk get increasingly offended that I’m not eating.
musecorn , Alberta Studios Report
South African with French husband: - French are really strict about food and cooking. No snacking unless it’s just after work. No mixing certain ingredients together. Eating meals only at certain hours - god forbid you eat lunch after 14:00!! - he dips his croissant or pain au chocolate like fully into his coffee, like bread and soup. I used to think it was hilarious, now I do the same 😆 - don’t EVER start a conversation with someone without saying Bonjour first. - and then maybe this is more my culture but in South Africa we eat salty breakfast. And avocado on toast can be considered a meal! The first time I made my son avocado on toast my MIL looked at me like I was mental.
ginigini , MART PRODUCTION Report
My in-laws don’t own forks, so they eat whole cakes with chopsticks (everyone just digs in without slicing and serving it on separate plates) Koreans don’t have body odor, even though they don’t shower every day. Everyone can wash their hair while squatting, using a basin on the floor, without taking their clothes off. It seems like everyone, even the elderly have ridiculously flexible hipjoints. No one uses bedsheets.
cool_lemons , seouleats.com Report
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Brit with an American hubby, other than the linguistic challenges at times, I’d say the biggest difference is table etiquette. His whole family seem able to eat entire meals using just a fork, or when something needs cutting, switch hands while eating. Plus hold the fork the wrong way up, I’ve gotten used to it now but was odd to begin with.
tanbrit , Tima Miroshnichenko Report
Hungary: The difference in everyday life customs and schedules. - we eat lunch at noon, lunch is the main meal of the day, breakfast and lunch are the same, i was surprised in other cultrues dinner is cooked meal - soup is the essential part of our lives, a full meal is soup + a solid dish . What is called main dish is literally called secondary here. I was surprised soup isn’t as default as it is here - we change into home clothes when we go home, i found it surprising some people don’t change clothes when they go home or they go the store in their home clothes.
Complex_Fee11 , Alexey Demidov Report
Relevant_Chipmunk302 , Ron Lach Report
My boyfriend is German and his desk is near a large window. Sometimes I use his desk and while I’m working, he would just casually walk to me, open the windows when it’s minus a million degrees outside for like ten minutes then close them. He does that twice a day. I did adopt the Stoßlüften habit in my own home now but it took a while to get used to it. Also, he has two blankets on his bed and always complains about how he maybe should get „a huge one“ like mine, meaning, a normal two persons blanket.
PinUp_Butter , Natalia Blauth Report
My English wife cools her toast before buttering it. The horror.
Competitive-Reach287 , Anil Sharma Report
Married 2X, a soviet russian (met and married there) and now a colombian woman (met, married and live in Colombia). My ex, it would have to be the friends and families who came to visit but never left. Our house, 4 kids, and people sleeping all over. Sometimes a house of 12-13 people. I was the one who had to leave. My latina wife… Family. I’m from AZ, grew up with latinos and knew it was a thing, but knowing is not the same as being in it. No room for friends when you have family. No one’s bday is missed, parties which must be attended, children being born. It’s one huge collective and I’m part of it whether I like it or not. Nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles, aunts and 4 godchildren. Many times I neither know who I’m talking to nor exactly how they’re related, this after 15 yrs. But I love them all.
Lazy-Layer8110 , Nicole Michalou Report
The way my in-laws (Mexican) waste NOTHING. every last morsel of food is eaten (cleaning your plate is a must!) or saved for later (and they actually eat all the leftovers!) every plastic bag, container, elastic, twist tie is saved. my FIL has dozens of used, clean yogurt containers under his sink (complete with their lids – in a shoebox) ready for reuse. the same candles have been making an appearance on EVERYONE’s cake for god knows how many birthdays! my adorable FIL saves the little sliver of soap at the end of the bar and has aggregated them into a Frankenstein’s monster bar of soap. (it’s not like they are impoverished, by the way. my FIL is the most frugal, if that’s what you call this, and he was the president of a prominent local university for years! “frugal” seems like the wrong word because it doesn’t capture what generous and giving people they are.) FIL showed me a TikTok called “gringo soltero y casada con una Latina” (single gringo vs. gringo married to a Latina) satirizing this trait and I could relate to EVERY SINGLE EXAMPLE portrayed 😂.
Fresh-Insurance-6110 , Alexey Demidov Report
I was born in Britain and moved to America as a child. My wife was born in the Philippines and moved to America as a young adult. There are lots of silly differences (foods,etc), but the big culture shock was the importance my wife puts on body language. The Philippines is a h**h context body language culture…lots gets communicate through body language regardless of what words may be spoken. America (Britain too) is low context meaning I have no idea what my body language is saying and I don’t believe it says anything. But my wife does. So if we are talking, she interprets don’t language more than words, and vice versa for me. So we are really talking different languages and after thirty years together, this can still trip us up.
caskettown01 , RDNE Stock project Report
I was already pretty familiar with UK culture when I moved here, but a big one was getting used to people greeting me with, “You all right?” I kept thinking, “Do I look that bad?”.
fuckyourcanoes Report
I’m French and my boyfriend is Ukrainian. The weirdest thing to me is regarding food, in France each part is separate, you have apéro, starter, main course, cheese, dessert. While in Ukraine they usually put everything on the table and you mix a little bit of everything. Every time we eat at the restaurant he makes fun of me cause I eat my salad before the main course while he eats it with the main course.
Reija_S , August de Richelieu Report
Shortly after I first met my Chinese wife, I told her I am from Spain, and she said something like “oh, your country is at the edge of the map!”. I was like “no? We’re right in the center?” And showed her what to me is the typical world map. Then she showed me the world map that is to her the normal one, with China in the center. I still think I’m right because my country is basically right on the Greenwich meridian but it’s really funny to argue this with her.
Exciting-Freedom8555 , Lara Jameson Report
As a person coming from a Spanish family : I did assume Frenchies have the same volume level at dinner table. Oh wow they do not and my ears could not even process the low frequencies in comparison how my family talks with each other. Thought that was exclusive for the family of my husband, but now it’s apparently the whole area he’s from.
BagAppropriate3955 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report
I’m married to someone from Italy. His mother read tarot semi-professionally for decades, as well as held seances and other occult things. It’s taken very seriously and credibly. She is extremely sought after for tarot - she no longer reads cards, but still has old clients/friends/acquaintances asking her to.
FeralAnole , ROMAN ODINTSOV Report
Long term relationship with a Peruvian. Two main things: the closeness of the family was shocking to me, they literally couldn’t do anything apart. And the amount of alcohol drank, like at a kids birthday party.. anything was an excuse to get drunk!
labrat24245 , August de Richelieu Report
Husband is Japanese. He walks around brushing his teeth for… At least 10 minutes. Sometimes 20. Sometimes he’s just on his phone or PC with the toothbrush in his mouth. I’m not sure what it’s doing in there so long. Overtime? 🤔.
KeyMonkeyslav , chen pincheng Report
I’m Dutch, my wife is from Venezuela; - Hospitality culture: It’s completely normal in her culture when people come over unannounced that they can stay for dinner. Not only is that unheard of in our culture, the phrase “we are about to start dinner” is in Dutch a que for guests to leave. - Christmas; In the Netherlands we celebrate Christmas on the 25th and 26th of December. With the 24th being Christmas eve. But in the Latin American world the 24th is Christmas day. Also, their Christmas dishes and traditions are way different naturally. - Sleeping in; In the Netherlands we live quite early. Most places will close around 5PM, Dinner is at 6PM. My wife and her family usually don’t wake up before noon if they don’t have to. Because in their culture shops and restaurants are open until quite late and the day only just starts at like 4PM.
Th3_Accountant , RDNE Stock project Report
UK/FR couple. Leaving French parties is a faff. My wife says it’s time to go, and 30 mins later she’s finished saying goodbye to everyone individually.
mmoonbelly , Kindel Media Report
Not married, but I dated someone from India, and I was always surprised by the willingness to stop everything to turn into hosts because some distant cousins you never heard of were in town. They were also Muslim which I think was the source of most surprises. Two shocks from that were that Mosques are typically gender segregated and that they’d make them sit and “read” an Arabic Quran even though they didn’t know any Arabic.
Cancel-Canada , Nicole Michalou Report
Swedish with French husband: Putting squares of chocolate in a sandwich.
moj_golube , Duygu Kamar Report
My husband is Moroccan and I’m Portuguese. One of the biggest differences is how many spices he uses when he cooks. He loves Portuguese food as well, but we are not as rich in the use of spices. Any Moroccan pastries also feel like they have double the average sugar amount. I don’t know how they don’t all suffer from diabetes. As a partner he is very sweet, gentle and protective. He also is very gallant in the sense that he never lets me pick up heavy things, opens the doors for me, always takes out the trash, etc. Much more so than any Portuguese man I have ever known (in my experience they tend to be drama queens overly attached to their mommies).
Ahapoypersonsmiling Report
My husband is American I’m Italian/german The shoes. Inside. The house.😤 what’s that about. The absolute worst😂 But the list is quite honestly endless lmao there’s just so much difference between EU and NA, culture & mannerisms alone Even simple things such as bodylanguage when talking or dinner or lunch time. Certain sayings that cause misunderstandings bc the languages/mannerisms just work differently. I learned in the EU we tend to eat a bit later in general. In America dinner is likr 5:30-6, where I was confused, We still have another two hours at least? Dinner is at 8? (We eat around 7, it’s the middle ground😂) Lunch as well- 12-1 not 11-12.
dinoooooooooos , Yaroslav Shuraev Report
Husband is Egyptian. “I am on my way” means getting ready to go is the next thing I will do after I finish the thing I am doing. Bread is the primary utensil to eat anything, even French fries. The things that “everyone knows” you don’t eat when you are sick: bananas mangoes and fish.
GlassCharacter179 , Jorge Fernández Salas Report
Weekly_Click_7112 , Kevin Malik Report
The fact that the yoghurt salad in Bihar, India, contains sugar. How people consume cannabis in the form of “Bhang” for religious purposes (Hindu festivals like Holi). People’s obsession with flat rice, and food in general. And the fact that “have you eaten?” is people’s way of asking “are you okay?”. The fact some people hate Churchill more than Hitler, I think the whole Hitler stuff was the biggest culture shock for me.
Such_Bitch_9559 , Jubair Bin Iqbal Report
My husband was born here but his mom is Dutch. A few things I’ve noticed: - she doesn’t use napkins? Like they don’t put them out at a meal, you only get one if you actually need it. She actually sweetly started making sure to have a few stacked on the table after the first few times I went looking for one. I’m the only one who uses it but appreciate her thought. - the filter. Aka, there is none. I’m a very direct person (although I can soften things more than she will), so I appreciate it but it causes clashes with other family members who don’t get it’s a cultural thing. - Dutch breakfast. I wholeheartedly embrace this tradition.
ImNotA_IThink Report
The shock and horror if you want a cappuccino in the afternoon. gasp.
WildWest430 Report
My wife is from Mexico and as time goes on I find more and more that we have no childhood memory overlaps. We’re both 80s babies and she’s never seen Goonies or Back to the Future and stuff like that.
Top-Air4186 , Ron Lach Report
My husband is Japanese. For a small thing, maybe eating salad with chopsticks, although I was quickly convinced this is the superior way and encourage everyone to try it out.
National-Ratio-8270 Report
I’ve said here before but I have in-laws who are married cousins, which is very jarring for me. There’s also just social things that are acceptable in Pakistan that are difficult for me. The commonality of having servants for upper class people really bugs me, but I’ve learned to just get used to it. Also the fact that the myth of a monolithic Pakistani culture really does not help any foreigner navigate the complexities of ethnicity politics—I’m very familiar with Kashmiri social customs (west of the Pir Panjal), but this doesn’t at all set me up for the social customs of Punjabis, Pashtuns, etc.
hijodelutuao , cottonbro studio Report
Wife is from Mexico. I’d say the relationship we have with time. I’m always running after something to do / abide by schedule. “Planning “ to be happy. She is more chill. Instant moment is moment is important for her. Also money. Yes she likes fancy stuff but what gives her the biggest smiles is when we go grocery shopping and the basket is full of fruits that she chose.
ConversationEasy7134 , Karolina Grabowska Report
European married to South Indian, when I first visited my husband prepared me well, sitting on the floor to eat, they eat with their hands, sleep on the floor, no shower but a bucket with a mug etc It was quiet the adjustment but I do now have my own mattress at their home lol, the sleeping on the floor never worked for me but can adapt to everything else.
Primary-Angle4008 , Rosario Fernandes Report
My wife is English, her family wear shoes in the house and even in bed. They don’t rinse the soap suds off their dishes. They dont shower at night even if it has been a hot day or they’re dirty. They over cook everything and never use seasoning apart from an occasional bit of salt and pinch of pepper.
FantasticVast01 Report
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