Some girls don’t care about proposals . But others want the event to be really special. A proposal, after all, is about showing love and appreciation to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So, the effort put into planning it reflects how much that person means to you.

And what does a proposal at a McDonald’s reflect? Because it’s exactly what this poor girl got from her boyfriend. The guy unironically got down on one knee mid-burger and popped the question. And with the wrong kind of jewelry! Furious and hurt, the woman decided to ask others whether she was being unreasonable.

We reached out to Michele Velazquez, proposal expert and date planner and owner of The Heart Bandits. She was kind enough to weigh in on this whole situation and told Bored Panda more about how not to propose and how couples should approach the big question.

More info: The Heart Bandits | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | X | Pinterest

Hardly anyone would consider McDonald’s a romantic place

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But one man decided to propose to his girlfriend just as they were munching on some burgers and fries

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A proposal expert tells us the three worst ways to propose

Michele Velazquez, a professional proposal expert, says that a proposal at a McDonald’s is quite a big yikes. “Don’t propose at a fast food restaurant!” she says with conviction. What are some other rules to keep in mind when planning a proposal?

Michele says that the person proposing should be mindful of their partner’s preferences. “Don’t propose in a way that only you think would be cool. For example, if you love a crowd and your partner doesn’t, don’t propose with a Flash Mob.”

Another big no-no would be to do it in public places and events where there are huge crowds. It’s not romantic or intimate. One example could be a sporting event. “Proposing in front of thousands of people with beer and nachos on the ground is not romantic,” Velazquez points out.

“Don’t propose using food,” she adds. “Long gone are the days when you can hide a ring in a cheesecake.” That goes for all the other cliches you can think of: ring in a champagne glass, Valentine’s Day proposals, skywriting or plane banners, and at someone else’s wedding.

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There is no one right way to propose

Those planning to propose soon might be thinking: so what do I do? Is my every idea bound to be a cliche? What is the right way to propose? Well, there is no one right way – it all depends on what you and your partner want.

“The key to a successful proposal is to create a proposal concept that would be meaningful and resonate with your partner,” the proposal expert says. “The way to do that is to brainstorm things about your relationship that may be unique to your love story .”

“Think about how you first met, how you fell in love, shared hobbies that brought you together, moments in your relationship that made you stronger, etc. Then circle those ideas that you think could be used as the central theme in your marriage proposal.”

Vazquez says that, nowadays, couples tend to talk about marriage before a proposal . “When the conversation comes up about marriage, it is ok to talk about what kind of ring you’d like and how you envision your proposal,” she says.

“A more subtle way to suggest how you’d like to be proposed to is by starting a Pinterest page for your engagement or liking and sharing proposals you like on other social media outlets.”

What’s more, people don’t have to do all the planning themselves. “10 years ago, when someone was proposing, there really weren’t resources out there to help them. But now there are proposal planners [who] are experts in creating once-in-a-lifetime proposals , so don’t be afraid to utilize them!” Michele urges.

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Sometimes, it’s not about the “how” but the “why”

Just as with weddings, many people (especially women) have presupposed ideas about how their “perfect day” should look. But is the way your partner proposes to you really the most important thing in the relationship equation?

Some say that the stereotypical proposal doesn’t reflect the relationship dynamics between a man and a woman in the year of our lord 2024. Professor of marriage and family history at Evergreen State College, Stephanie Coontz, told the Atlantic that the tradition of the proposal is very resistant to change.

In most heterosexual couples, the woman expects a man to propose. By surprise, preferably. The whole ordeal can sometimes veer on the edge of the ridiculous: he’s supposed to know how she wants it to go, but he can’t tell her exactly how and when it will happen.

“[The proposal is] still so wrapped up in the old tradition of males taking initiative and females being delighted that it’s very painful for everyone if it doesn’t go the way we expect—for the women who has to say no, for the man who feels humiliated, and for any public audience,” Coontz observed.

In the end, the proposal, above all else, should be meaningful to both partners, should it not? “However your other half (or you!) proposed, I hope you never forget that the ‘why’ is a million times more important than the ‘how,’” the founder of The Rock N Roll Bride magazine, Kat Williams, writes. “Whether you were dancing around your living room in your underwear, or standing atop the Eiffel Tower at sunset, that magical moment is YOURS.”

Commenters had some heartfelt and sincere advice for the girlfriend

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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_903b8fbb282d886943b8fab56290a426.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 25”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_850cf9b4370454126e87ced7f2e4ca74.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 26”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_e362a4a27ce57581805e7bf82a9d205a.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 27”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_5f49aba1fc858059c76acd311abad232.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 28”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_786de4e1eeec17524c32897e3e5b5f98.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 29”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_776c77f6f85e0640ca9ba88a605e1e34.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 30”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_a17dbae879bbdc8b049fb9270096fd22.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 31”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_3a0fac0d25297fda3f4d0308a7bc9a35.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 32”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_a88b613d39e4d0e15952a3699df8dc26.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 33”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_6e1e4af21462a2ab237220825b988b70.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 34”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_f28c9cec2a2ab1963cd07c829a5379e1.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 35”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/comment_367444446fed4fc0d6bbdf6ac6ba2f47.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 36”>

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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/woman-refuses-marry-boyfriend-awful-proposal-18.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 37”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/woman-refuses-marry-boyfriend-awful-proposal-16.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 38”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/woman-refuses-marry-boyfriend-awful-proposal-9.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 39”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/woman-refuses-marry-boyfriend-awful-proposal-10.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 40”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/woman-refuses-marry-boyfriend-awful-proposal-13.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 41”>

<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/woman-refuses-marry-boyfriend-awful-proposal-14.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral - 42”>

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