It’s certainly possible to have an amicable divorce. But in some cases, the breakup is so bad that it continues to haunt you and your love life for years to come. This is especially true if your ex-partner decides to turn your children against you and your new spouse. If you don’t enforce any boundaries, it can seriously damage some of your closest relationships with your new family.
Redditor u/CopyNo5921 asked the AITAH community whether he was wrong to intentionally pick his wedding date so that his brother-in-law’s toxic ex-wife and their nightmare kids wouldn’t be able to attend the big day. Scroll down to find out just how bad the situation was for him to make such a decision, and to read the internet’s reactions. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the post as soon as we hear back from him.
Your wedding is meant to be one of the happiest days of your entire life! But what do you do if you know for a fact that some of your guests might ruin it?
Bride and groom standing under floral arch by the lake during outdoor wedding to avoid nightmare ex at family event
A groom-to-be shared how he purposefully chose a wedding date so that his brother-in-law’s kids and nightmare ex-wife wouldn’t be there. This sparked a ton of drama
Text excerpt about a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex disrupting family events.
Text describing family issues with disrespectful kids and close relationships causing tension at family events.
Text excerpt about family drama involving a nightmare ex ruining family events and wedding plans.
Text describing family drama with BIL’s nightmare ex causing issues at events and a man scheduling his wedding to avoid her.
Text describing a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex who keeps ruining family events.
Frustrated woman holding her head in pain, illustrating BIL’s nightmare ex disrupting family events and wedding plans.
Man schedules wedding to avoid BIL’s nightmare ex who keeps ruining family events and causing tension.
Text describing a family event disrupted by BIL’s nightmare ex causing trouble and police intervention for a warning.
Text excerpt about scheduling a wedding to avoid BIL’s nightmare ex from family events for a peaceful day
Text post discussing a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex ruining family events.
Divorce and breakups can be done in a healthy way. However, something’s deeply wrong if you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your ex
Though a healthy relationship with an ex-partner of yours is certainly possible, it’s not a guarantee. It requires a lot of hard work. On both sides!
According to Jamie Cannon, MS, LPC, some of the main signs that you have a toxic relationship with an ex-partner include you feeling:
- Guilty about moving on
- Responsible for your ex’s feelings
- As though your ex refuses to give you space
- Like your relationship with your ex is imbalanced
“One of the first signs that things are not where they need to be with an ex is a sense of guilt when you feel ready to move forward and date someone new,” Cannon explains in a post on Psychology Today. “If you feel worried, stressed, or that you need to hide your feelings for someone new from your ex, you may want to revisit the relationship,” she said.
Meanwhile, she stresses the fact that it’s a red flag if you believe yourself to be responsible for your ex-partner’s emotions.
“If you find yourself walking on eggshells long after the end of a romantic relationship, or making important decisions in your life based on your worry about how an ex will react, that relationship could be entering an unhealthy stage. When people part ways after a breakup, each person should be able to move forward and live their life independently,” she notes.
Man angrily confronting woman in home, illustrating tension related to nightmare ex disrupting family events.
Toxic ex-partners intentionally sabotage your relationships, manipulate you, and turn your children against you
Furthermore, it’s seriously problematic if even after breaking up, exes can’t give each other physical and emotional space. “A breakup should allow each individual the chance to create a new future, without the influence, judgment, or control of their ex. Worrying that you have to look over your shoulder or dealing with an ex who wants to stay involved in every detail of your life is unhealthy,” Cannon points out, adding that firm boundaries are essential in order to move forward.
In a similar vein, Family Mediation and Mentoring explains that toxic ex-spouses tend to :
- Make you feel inadequate
- Make you question your abilities as a parent
- Sabotage your relationships and interfere in your love life
- Use the courts to stay connected to you even after the divorce
- Manipulate you by using guilt and blame
- Interfere with your communication with your children
- Say negative things about you to your children to turn them against you
Man and woman in a narrow outdoor space, appearing to have a serious conversation about family and wedding plans.
The man interacted with some of the readers, answering their questions and sharing more context
Man scheduling wedding to avoid BIL’s nightmare ex who ruins family events, ensuring peaceful celebration for all.
Reddit discussion about a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex ruining family events.
Screenshot of a discussion about a brother-in-law’s nightmare ex ruining family events and wedding scheduling strategies.
Reddit discussion about a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex ruining family events.
Conversation text discussing a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex disrupting family events.
Online conversation where man explains scheduling wedding to avoid his nightmare ex ruining family events.
The vast majority of netizens took the groom-to-be’s side. They thought he was perfectly within his rights to protect his wedding
Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising to hire private security to avoid family drama caused by BIL’s nightmare ex.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing family drama involving BIL’s nightmare ex and wedding event issues.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing avoiding drama caused by an ex at a wedding to ensure a stress-free family event.
Reddit comment discussing a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex ruining family events.
Comment discussing the nightmare ex ruining family events and scheduling a wedding to avoid her interference.
Commenter discusses dealing with bil’s nightmare ex ruining family events by scheduling wedding to avoid her.
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Comment text on a forum discussing avoiding a problematic family member by scheduling events to prevent conflicts.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing avoiding family drama caused by BIL’s nightmare ex at a wedding event.
Comment about scheduling wedding date to avoid bil’s nightmare ex causing drama at family events, discussing visitation schedule.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing legal advice regarding a brother-in-law’s nightmare ex interfering with family events.
Text conversation discussing a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex ruining family events.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing how an ex keeps ruining family events and scheduling a wedding to avoid her.
Comment on a Reddit post about a wedding, discussing avoiding a nightmare ex and controlling family events.
Comment discussing a man’s choice to schedule his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex ruining family events.
Comment text on a discussion forum about a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his brother-in-law’s nightmare ex.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a man scheduling his wedding to avoid his BIL’s nightmare ex ruining family events.
Reddit comment discussing family trauma caused by BIL’s nightmare ex disrupting events and scheduling wedding to avoid her.
Screenshot of a comment discussing a BIL’s nightmare ex ruining family events and concerns about a wedding disruption.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing challenges with family events and scheduling a wedding to avoid a problematic ex.
Text from a social media comment advising to call the police and report trespassing to handle a problematic ex at family events.
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