The idea of being excluded is so hostile to our psychology, that humans invented the concept of “exile” as a punishment to ward off certain behavior. So learning that one’s family is regularly having events that specifically don’t include you can be frustrating.
A man asked the internet if he was wrong to ask his all female family to stop having “girls days” because it meant he was excluded from birthdays and even family trips. However, when confronted, his family seemingly refused to see his side. Later, he shared a sizable update about the fallout of him making this post.
Most people are smart enough to not object to “girls days”
Three women smiling and taking a selfie during girl days, highlighting family refusing to include a guy and immaturity issues.
But one man realized that his all-female family was just having events without him
Text excerpt from a family drama post about a guy furious after family refuses to include him in girl days.
Text excerpt describing a guy feeling frustrated and immature after family excludes him from girls day outings.
Text excerpt about a guy feeling furious and immature after being excluded from family girl days and needing to grow up.
Man feeling left out and furious after family refuses to include him in girl days, reflecting on immaturity and need to grow up.
Text showing a guy expressing frustration about being left out and feeling immature after family excludes him from girl days.
Man sitting on floor looking furious and upset after family refuses to include him in girl days activities.
Text excerpt from a guy furious after family refuses to include him in girls only vacation plans this year.
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Text message expressing frustration about being called immature and excluded from family girl days, seeking advice on maturity.
People want to feel like they are included
Family exclusion often feels more painful than outright conflict, and that’s because humans are hardwired to seek belonging within their closest social groups. Research on social rejection shows that our brains process exclusion using some of the same neural pathways as physical pain, which explains why being systematically left out of family gatherings can genuinely hurt rather than simply disappoint. When a family develops traditions or rituals that explicitly exclude one member based on an immutable characteristic, whether that’s gender, age, or any other factor, it creates a fundamental question about what family membership actually means and whether love and inclusion come with conditions.
The tension between individual autonomy and collective consideration creates fascinating dynamics in families. On one hand, adults absolutely have the right to choose their social activities and travel companions, and women’s spaces serve important purposes for bonding, support, and shared experiences. Studies on gender-segregated social groups indicate they can provide valuable opportunities for connection and understanding that mixed-gender groups sometimes don’t facilitate. On the other hand, family systems theory suggests that when families develop patterns that consistently marginalize one member, it affects the entire system’s health and everyone’s sense of security within it. The issue isn’t really about any single girls’ weekend or even a vacation, it’s about whether exclusion has become the organizing principle of family life.
What makes this particularly complex is the intersection of gender dynamics with family structure. In families where one gender vastly outnumbers another, the minority member can experience a unique form of isolation that others may not recognize because they’re always surrounded by people who share their experience. The women of the family might genuinely not perceive exclusion as harmful because from their perspective, they’re simply enjoying time together, it’s only when you’re the one person on the outside that the pattern becomes visible and painful. This mirrors research on minority stress in other contexts, where being the statistical outlier in any group creates psychological strain that the majority doesn’t experience or always understand.
Having one’s feelings dismissed tends to cause more issues than it solves
Birthday celebrations and family vacations carry enormous symbolic weight because they represent one of our culture’s most recognized expressions of belonging and priority. When someone is excluded from these milestone events, the message received is often about their fundamental value to the group rather than just about that specific occasion. The response of “just drop the gift off” actually compounds the hurt because it acknowledges the person’s desire to participate while simultaneously dismissing it as unimportant. This kind of dismissal is what psychologists call invalidation, and studies show it’s more damaging to relationships than outright disagreement because it suggests the other person’s feelings don’t merit serious consideration.
The accusation of immaturity for withdrawing is particularly ironic because setting boundaries when feeling hurt is actually a sign of emotional awareness , not childishness. Research on relationship boundaries indicates that temporarily creating distance from painful situations allows people to process emotions and decide how they want to engage going forward, it’s actually quite mature. The alternative would be either suffering in silence or maintaining constant conflict, neither of which benefits anyone. What often happens in families is that the person who disrupts an uncomfortable status quo by naming a problem or changing their behavior gets labeled as the troublemaker, even when they’re responding to an existing issue that others have chosen not to address.
The fundamental question any family has to grapple with is whether inclusion is a baseline expectation or something that can be selectively applied based on convenience and preference. Both positions have some validity, families aren’t obligated to do everything together, and adults need separate friendships and experiences. Finding the balance between honoring everyone’s need for chosen social experiences and maintaining inclusive family traditions requires the kind of honest conversation where all feelings are taken seriously, not just dismissed as someone being oversensitive or self-centered.
Reddit user discusses feeling excluded from family girls days and struggles with immaturity and personal growth.
Many people saw his point of view
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Reddit user explains why family excluding a guy from girl days shows his immaturity and need to grow up.
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Commenter explains feeling excluded by family, seen as immature, and emphasizes need to grow up and set boundaries respectfully.
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Commenter advises guy feeling furious after family excludes him from girl days to create his own guys day or friends day.
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Comment from EmpiricalAnarchism discussing family refusing to include a guy in girl days due to immaturity and need to grow up.
Commenter advises a guy feeling hurt and immature after family excludes him from girl days and vacations.
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Reddit comment discussing guy furious after family refuses to include him in girl days and immaturity concerns.
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Screenshot of a user comment stating NTA in their opinion on a family dispute about girl days inclusion.
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Man upset sitting on couch with woman in background expressing frustration about family and immature behavior
He shared what happened next
Text update about guy furious after family refuses to include him in girl days, reflecting on immaturity and need to grow up.
Text excerpt from a guy furious after family refuses to include him in girl days, reflecting immaturity and need to grow up.
Guy furious after family refuses to include him in girl days, expressing immaturity and need to grow up in family conflict.
Text excerpt showing a guy furious after family refuses to include him in girl days, reflecting immaturity and growth needed.
Text excerpt showing a guy upset about not being included in girls only days, reflecting on immaturity and growth.
Man furious after family excludes him from girl days, woman upset and crying as they argue indoors in casual clothing.
Text excerpt discussing a guy feeling excluded from a girls-only event, reflecting on immaturity and need to grow up.
Man upset and feeling excluded after family refuses to include him in girl days due to his immaturity and need to grow up.
Text explaining a guy feeling furious after family refuses to include him in girl days and mentions he needs to grow up.
Text excerpt from family meeting where guy explains reaching a breaking point and plans no contact with family.
Text expressing frustration from a guy who feels immature and wants to be included in family girl days.
Young man looking frustrated and upset after being excluded by family during girl days, reflecting on immaturity and growth.
Text excerpt showing a guy expressing frustration after his family refuses to include him in girl days, feeling immature and left out.
Text excerpt showing a guy expressing frustration after family excludes him from girl days and feeling immature.
Some readers expressed their sympathies
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Alt text: Screenshot of a forum comment expressing anger over family excluding a guy from girl days and calling for personal growth.
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Reddit comment discussing a guy furious after family refuses to include him in girl days, showing immature behavior.
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Screenshot of a furious guy expressing frustration after family refuses to include him in girl days, highlighting immaturity and growth needs.
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