Birthday presents are kind of a big deal, especially when it comes to family. By choosing a thoughtful gift, you can show someone how well you know them and make them feel seen, loved, and celebrated. A bad gift, or no gift at all, sends the opposite message.
One woman turned to an online community to vent after her brothers backed out of a deal to put their money together and buy their mom a big joint birthday gift. Their reason? Too broke. With weeks of planning out the window, she took drastic action.
More info: Reddit
You’re pretty much expected to go the extra mile for family but, without boundaries, you can end up in less-than-ideal situations
Two bros looking upset and distant on a wooden bench, reflecting being too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift.
One woman, the eldest of four siblings, wanted to treat her mother for her birthday, since she always goes all out for everyone else’s celebrations
Text post about a sister taking her mom out for dinner without brothers, who were too broke to pitch in.
Text excerpt describing family plans for mom’s birthday dinner after brothers were too broke to contribute.
Alt text: Sisters and brothers plan mom’s birthday gift with brothers not pitching in, leading to an irate sister taking mom to dinner.
Text excerpt discussing bros too broke to pitch in for a mom’s birthday gift, with sister taking her out for dinner instead.
Text discussing emotional and financial struggles working multiple jobs while trying to contribute to mom’s birthday gift.
Two women enjoying coffee together indoors, highlighting a sister taking their mom out for dinner on her birthday.
After weeks of planning, herding group chats, and sending out reminders, the woman asked her brothers for their share of the cash she was putting together for a big joint gift
Alt text: Sister takes mom out for birthday dinner after brothers are too broke to pitch in for gift planning.
Text excerpt about bros too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift and irate sister taking mom out for dinner instead.
Text about brothers too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift, irate sister takes mom out for dinner alone.
Alt text: Siblings struggle with bros too broke to pitch in for Mom’s birthday gift while irate sister takes her out to dinner.
Text on a white background asking if the person was amithah and if they should have stuck to the original plan.
Young woman kissing happy mother holding birthday gift in kitchen, highlighting bros too broke to pitch in scenario.
Things went sideways, though, when her brothers sheepishly admitted they were all broke, basically backing out of the deal they’d all made together
Siblings sitting at a dining table, one sister appearing frustrated and taking their mom out for dinner alone.
Alt text: Sister takes mom out for dinner after brothers are too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift.
Text update about brothers too broke to pitch in, apologizing and setting boundaries after mom’s birthday gift issue.
Text about planning a tradition with mom, mentioning bros too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift.
Sister takes mom out for dinner after brothers too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift.
Pink KitchenAid Artisan stand mixer on kitchen counter, highlighting family moments and gift ideas for mom’s birthday.
Beyond annoyed, she decided to dump the original plan of cooking a birthday dinner at home and took her mom out to her favorite restaurant instead
Text excerpt discussing bros too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift, irate sister takes her out for dinner without them.
Text excerpt describing a woman and her three brothers, highlighting family dynamics related to a birthday gift and celebration.
Text excerpt discussing family dynamics after divorce and a protective father giving advice about the mom.
Text excerpt about setting boundaries with brothers over effort for mom’s birthday gift after repeated disappointment.
Text on a plain black background stating the post is not AI and wishing it was to make life easier.
Woman smiling at outdoor dinner with wine and grilled skewers, highlighting irate sister taking mom out alone.
She invited her brothers along but, of course, they couldn’t make it, so she threw them a bone by saying they could come round to her mom’s house for cake later
Text excerpt about planning family birthdays and holidays despite parents being divorced, highlighting family dynamics and special occasions.
Text excerpt from a story about brothers too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift while sister takes her out to dinner.
Text excerpt about brothers too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift and sister taking mom out for dinner instead.
Alt text: Sister takes mom out for dinner after brothers fail to contribute to mom’s birthday gift plans.
Text about siblings and family dynamics, highlighting bros too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift conflict.
In the end, everyone ended up back at the house, cake was shared, songs were sung, and her brothers got a reality check about what showing up actually means
The original poster (OP) planned her mom’s birthday like a small wedding: family dinner at home, cake, and a big joint gift. Weeks of setup, group chats, reminders, the works. The only hitch? On the day money was due, her three brothers casually announced they were broke and somehow expected her to handle everything without blinking.
Normally, OP would shrug it off. Times are hard, wallets are empty, capitalism is a menace. But here’s the thing: she’s juggling a draining job, a daily side hustle, and sheer exhaustion, yet still budgeted carefully because their mom goes all-out for everyone. Her brothers, meanwhile, just planned to show up without actually showing up.
When their nonchalance hit, so did OP’s limit. Instead of playing family ATM, she pivoted, called her mom, skipped the explanations, and invited her to her favorite restaurant . Her mom was thrilled. The brothers? Furious. They couldn’t afford to come.
OP still bought the gift (a pink KitchenAid mixer her mom had adored for years) but left her brothers’ names off it. Petty? Maybe. Satisfying? You bet. Especially since this wasn’t new. Her brothers always rallied for their dad, while their mom’s celebrations mysteriously became OP’s responsibility, with everyone else happily taking the credit.
Well, the day turned out perfectly. OP’s mom shopped, dined, and nearly cartwheeled over her dream mixer. Her brothers eventually apologized, boundaries were set, and cake was eaten. Lesson learned? Sometimes being “the bad guy” just means finally drawing a line in the sand, even if you ruffle some family feathers while you’re at it.
Sibling taking mom out for birthday dinner while brothers skip pitching in for the gift, celebrating with cake and smiles.
OK, be honest. What would you have done if you’d been in OP’s shoes? She mentions she’s already working two jobs and basically burnt out. Like many, she’s a victim of “emotional labor”. But what exactly is that? Let’s dive in.
The pros at VeryWellMind break it down perfectly: emotional labor is all the behind-the-scenes brain work you do to keep everyone else comfy, happy, and functioning, often without anyone noticing. It’s basically managing feelings, expectations, and situations so other people don’t have to.
Here’s the sneaky part: emotional labor is often expected, not requested. You just slowly become “the responsible one,” “the planner,” or “the fixer.” And because you’re good at it, people just assume you’ll always do it. No fair.
Well, OP put her foot down (you go, girl!) but if you’re struggling with emotional labor, the experts at UCLA Health have some tips. Firstly, the people you live with may not be aware of everything you do in the background. Find a time and place to gently explain all you manage mentally.
Next up, make a mental load list and start prioritizing, this can help get those invisible “to-do’s” out of your head. Finally (and this one might be tough at first), delegate, delegate, delegate, and at least try to let go. As the saying goes, if nothing changes, nothing changes. We’d say it was about time OP claimed all the credit. Giving her brothers a reality check was just the cherry on top.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing irate sis taking mom out to dinner while bros are too broke to pitch in for gift.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a pink Kitchenaid mixer, humorously unrelated to bros too broke to pitch in.
Comment about irate sister handling mom’s birthday plans due to brothers being too broke to contribute.
Text post discussing family dynamics where brothers are too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift, and sister takes mom out instead
Screenshot of an online comment highlighting frustration over brothers too broke to pitch in for Mom’s birthday gift.
Comment about bros too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift while irate sis takes mom out for dinner.
Two brothers refusing to pitch in for Mom’s birthday gift while sister takes her out to dinner alone.
Comment expressing frustration about bros too broke to pitch in for mom’s gift while sister takes her out for dinner.
Sister takes mom out for birthday dinner after brothers are too broke to pitch in for gift.
Text post on a forum stating brothers are too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift while sister takes mom out for dinner.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing gender expectations as irate sister takes mom out for dinner without broke brothers.
Siblings refuse to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift, causing sister to take her out for dinner alone.
Alt text: Online comment about siblings and responsibility related to bros too broke to pitch in for mom’s birthday gift.
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