The human body is pretty amazing. It’s tough, adaptable, and capable of incredible things. Though not always in ways you’d expect.
Because for some people, “testing the limits” means inserting objects that really have no business being there.
That’s when medical professionals step in—and sometimes, even they’re stunned by what they find. From forgotten gadgets to Buzz Lightyear himself, here are some of the wildest discoveries doctors and nurses have had to deal with.
Take a look below… just maybe not while you’re eating.
As a medical student, our GI co-ordinator had time for a few questions at the end of our block, open floor. Being a somewhat precocious medical student I asked “What is the most interesting thing you have had to remove from someone’s butt?” Sniggering ensued but the Doctor wasn’t phased. She earnestly recanted a story about removing someone’s eyeglasses from his r****m but before that she had the xray and showed the patient that there were glasses up his behind. He alledgedly replied, “I’m sorry, I can’t really make it out as I don’t have my glasses with me.” Laughter ensures in our class; however, sensing a golden opportunity my hand shoots up for a follow up question. “I have to ask,” I say, “in that moment, how did you resist the urge to make a joke about hindsight?” That was a fun lecture.
Milesofstyle , Getty Images Report
Footlong Subway sandwich under their fat roll, the chips and cookies were under the pannus near the pelvis. Lady was pissed. She came to ER and needed surgery, and “knew you wouldn’t let me eat.” That one really shook my faith in humanity, but then I got coffee and remembered I never had any.
anon Report
When my mom was in vocational school she had a classmate who had an unpleasant odor. Over time it got worse and worse until the instructors pulled this gal aside and have the personal hygiene talk with her. She broke down into tears and told the trusted adults that she had been using a pickle in place of a s*x toy and lost it. It was just gone. She admitted that had been around a month earlier. One of the instructors took the girl straight to the ER and waited there for her while the makeshift toy was retrieved. That instructor deserved a dn raise. I would have lost my st. Also, imagine the smell in that procedure room upon removal! 😣.
LaquishaFromTheBlock , SuckerPunch Gourmet Report
Cousin of mine had to remove an apple from the same guys r****m on two separate occasions. Due to the hospitals procedure, an MRI was required before extraction. The computer system analyzed it the second time and concluded that “the tumor had increased in size”.
Mark3l4 , IamCristian Report
I’m not a nurse but a friend of mine is. She said a guy came in with a buzz lightyear figurine in his butt. The real problem was the wings deployed while he was enjoying his time with dear old buzz…
hydrangea_danger , Affectionate_Net_213 Report
A woman who liked to store her family heirloom rings in her v****a (yes, she had dementia). Family requested them and they were nowhere to be seen. They assured us she had them. While cleaning her up, she coughed and a few fell out. We cleaned and disinfected them the best we could and gave them back to the family.
IfEverWasIfNever , Cornelia Ng Report
Not a nurse, but a medic. This was awhile ago, but it was a paper prescription stuck to the patient’s back. He had been given a prescription for lidocaine cream for some type of back pain. The instructions were, “apply to affected areas for pain relief.” So he did. My partner hid behind the clipboard laughing so hard, tears were pouring out of his eyes. I had to stand there with a straight face until I finished assessing him and triaged him to the BLS ambulance for transport. Poor guy, he was so nice, just couldn’t understand why it wasn’t working.
Forsaken-Ad-7502 , Yunus Tuğ Report
20+ yrs ago as a baby nurse assisting with septic work up on pt who had to be cut from his trailer d/t morbid obesity. Myself & 3 others lifting pannus to get a cath in & a tv remote was found it did not fall it was adhered to his skin causing a wound. He was such a kind man & jokingly said “I’ve been looking for that!”.
acm-5h20-1996 , Kaboompics.com Report
Worked in a closed sx offender unit where we did non-emergent care on site but flew out if there was a real crisis. Had a guy who was constantly claiming to have inserted items into his ps or rm for the flight out, until eventually we didn’t believe him and would take him to X-Ray in visitor screening every time. One day one of my subs comes in and says, “‘Guy’ has a tobasco bottle stuck up his r*m and he says it broke. I guess he was masturbating with it and put it too far up there and lost it.” She never explained to me at which point it was “too far” to insert a tobasco bottle into ones a**s. I go out to talk to him and he’s standing upright, refusing to sit down but not appearing to be in any obvious distress, so I assume his faking. Ask him what happens. He recounts that he was stimulating himself with the bottle and lost it, got embarrassed, tried to fish it out with a wire coat hanger, and the bottle had shattered. I looked him dead in the face and said, “So you’re telling me that you have a shattered glass bottle cutting into your as, and if dripping vinegar and peppers into your a**s and those cuts, and your just standing here all chill?” He says yes. I send him to XRay to call his bluff. Cut to all of us just staring at the machine… he’s telling the truth. We can see the shattered bottle and his large intestine is distended from all of the blood inside of it. It’s horrible, and I have no idea how he’s upright or why he’s not soaked in blood. On the lifeflight we go, where I not only have to accompany him, I have to explain it over radio to the recieving hospital. They rerouted is twice because no one was sure what type of specialist we needed, and no one wanted to touch that with a 100 foot pole.
PembrokeLove , Cory Doctorow Report
Intern here. Dude came in with an iPod jammed up his a*s. Idk how or why it happened but he said he wanted to ‘feel the bass’. Let the record state that I’m a musician too and I have serious doubts as to how effective jamming an iPod up your a*****e is in terms of ‘feeling the bass’.
MR-DEDPUL , Hans Herrington Report
My wife is a gastroenterologist .. she once had to take care of a guy who had a ‘foreign body’ stuck in his ae. He didn’t even try to come up with a b**t story. Eventually she was able to extract a full-size long can of Gillette shaving foam (the Best A Man Can Misplace). Upon further inspection, ‘but wait there’s more!’. The guy then admitted there was also a full-size can of Axe deodorant spray stuck up there as well! (Normally patients lose a foreign body due to unexpected ‘al rectal reflex’ that pulls things up and out of reach. This clown was not a fast learner!). My wife could not extract the second can .. she had to send the patient for surgery and he ended up with a colostomy bag. Be careful playing around back there! p.s. this patient was 73 yrs old.
LausanneAndy , n0pst0rm Report
Not a doctor but a nurse. Had a patient come in with a toothpick in his p***s. Refused to tell me how it got in there, insisting he was picking his teeth and it fell in.
Harveyjeter , Sreeja Report
A rather large pumpkin spice candle in one of those hourglass shaped jars. To this day the process boggles my mind, and it was back in the day of x-rays on film. I had a copy made, without identifying personal information of course, and now have one of the most interesting lampshades you’ve ever seen :).
Lazarus73 , Rebecca Peterson-Hall Report
600+ lbs patient with a rusted and fully loaded revolver stuck underneath one of their fat rolls. It had been there so long it was covered in a slime and dead skin goop.
SWEATYTURTLENUTS , witsaruts Report
Toilet brush… The handle/stalk (don’t know what it’s called in ebglish) had broken off and the dude couldn’t get it out. The brush part I mean.
anon , Liliana Drew Report
Here we go, you will not believe this one. I had just had a daughter and was always exhausted due to the lack of sleep from her. (Not on her it’s just kids y’know) and I was half asleep in the ambulance when we got dispatched to pick up a kid from this house on the edge of town. The dispatcher said the girl was complaining of lower abdomen pain so we should be very careful with her. The ride was normal and then later that week an x-ray specialist friend of mine asked me if I remembered that girl. I said yes. He said she had a Lego lightsaber stuck sideways 4 inches from her rm. She must have swallowed it (….hopefully). My sleep deprived as had to race across town to save a little girl who had a lightsaber stuck in her rm 😣 If that’s not hilarious I’m not sure what is. When I ended up saying to my wife when I got home that “I saved a girl with a lightsaber in her r***m at work” she just stared at me in confusion.
Brithefryguy56 , LegoRobinHood Report
The weirdest thing I’ve seen is a #2 pencil in a female’s urethra. She had pushed it up to the level of her bladder and came in for blood in the urine. She was a frequent flyer sadly. A colleague had a billiard ball in the v****a patient. Lots of shampoo bottles. It’s amazing how many people slip in the shower and just end up with one in there…
Fluffernator8486 , Daniel Shapiro Report
Sunflower seed shells. Apparently if you devour an entire bag without removing the shells and you’re shy about pooping in public for 5 days you develop a sunflower seed shell bezoar (blocking mass of foreign material). The patient had to go to the OR for disimpaction under anesthesia (EUA).
aetuf , Maryam Sicard Report
A friend of mine is a doctor, and it has to be a tossup between a pound of potatoes “lovingly shaved” as he puts it, to resemble eggs, and a totem pole of barbie heads superglued together.
EnsoElysium , Sandra Gabriel Report
Friend of mine had to remove a pool/billiard ball from a guy’s r****m. They were taking bets on which # it was. Lol.
PHC_Tech_Recruiter , Christian Wiediger Report
My first sem lab tutor told us a story of how she found a mushroom growing under a patient’s breast.
viobro , Pablo Merchán Montes Report
ER nurse here. We have hall beds for drunk/high people. Once found a mouse trap stuck to someone’s leg with a dead mouse in it.
bahknee9 , Alper Çuğun Report
A friend (nurse) told me this story. A couple came in, and the woman had an apple stuck inside her v****a. She said her and her husband were making out on the sofa when the doorbell rang. She jumped up, and over the coffee table, when she slipped and landed on the fruit bowl, and the apple went up. So they managed to get it out. When they did, they found it had a bite taken out of it.
zetecvan , Geri Jean Report
Bowling pin, St. Patrick’s day several years ago. Patient claimed he “couldn’t remember” how it got there. Paramedic’s comment was, “Buddy, if you’re so drunk you don’t remember that going up there, you should be dead.”
jemmo_ , MJH SHIKDER Report
My friend’s father had to remove three toothbrushes from a pregnant 16-year-old’s v****a. Her boyfriend got insanely drunk and then tried to make her abort by stuffing a toothbrush up there. She agreed with it. The first toothbrush got stuck, so he tried to pry it out using a second toothbrush, which also got stuck. So he tried to get out the second one by using a third toothbrush… which also got stuck.
Brunsui , Getty Images Report
Had a friend that was an ER doc who described a patient coming in who had a rather large fish inside of him. The problem was that the fish have been inserted while it was frozen. Once it thawed out from the warmth of the body the fins expanded and surgery was needed to remove it, or the spines would have tore the guy up on the way out.
SalesAutopsy , Kier in Sight Archives Report
During residency my mom saw a guy who shoved a garden gnome up his a*s.
lauren1capri , Hans Splinter Report
In nursing school, a half eaten biscuit tucked away under a tiddy. Granny was saving it for later 😂.
heavily-caffinated , Nathan Dumlao Report
My sister works at the ER and she got to remove an intact light bulb out of a guys as. Like this man got a light bulb up his as, figure out its stuck, drive to the ER, sit for maybe 30 minutes ans have it removed without it breaking. To this day I’m still trying to figure out how it happened.
Obi-wanna-cracker , Kateryna Hliznitsova Report
Guy had a glass vase in his r****m in our ER. He’s really lucky it stayed intact through to surgery.
Boyiee , Noel Nicolas Report
One guy came in, he had a beard trimmer stuck up there. But that’s what he wanted. He got off on “being caught” and having it removed. We’ve seen him a few times before for other things.
maraxx66 , Andrej Lišakov Report
Not a nurse. I work in a lab at a hospital, and we get some weird stuff sent down to us to be sent out for microbiology testing. I was working the front desk and a nurse called and said she had a patient who claimed she had worms crawling out of her butt. Pinworms aren’t super uncommon around here, especially in the low income areas. I explained to the nurse how to do a tape prep and if there were actual worms to bring them down in a plastic collection cup. Maybe like 5 minutes later I get a cup that had earthworms in it. I asked 0 questions and just sent it off to micro to do their thing. I have no idea if they were actually in this person’s r****m, or if just around the general area. I also have no clue how they got there or why, and I was too afraid to ask the nurse.
AshenNecromancer Report
An entire 20oz bottle of Dr Pepper hidden in their skin folds….while looking for their glasses….that were also in their skin folds.
combo_platter Report
Hospital deodorant with no lid (ball roller applicator type) stuck the hip/buttock. Pulled it off and said “hey friend, what is up with this”….“oh I put that up my butt” And that is why you always always always wear gloves.
apocalypseconfetti Report
A couple of years ago, when I was an ER Tech , another tech and I were cleaning and bagging a body. When we rolled the body, a bunch of change rolled onto the floor, we were both speechless because the person was naked… and we had just cleaned it…
SheSends Report
Found a spoon and a fork in one ladies bilateral flank folds and an Oreo under her b**b a few days later. Set the Oreo on the bedside table to finish cleaning her up and when we rolled her over she decided to pick it up and eat it before we could stop her.
Elley_bean Report
Turned a patient I received from RRT and they had their dentures on their butt cheek. Imprint and all.
girlcommainterrupted , Diana Polekhina Report
Found a slice of pizza (cheese side up) stuck to a patients back another time I found a gabapentin tablet in a morbidly obese patient’s abdominal fold. It left the entire pill imprint into his swollen skin, including the numbers and letters. We only do gabapentin capsules so it was from home and he had been there for weeks. Originally I thought it had been missed for that long, but then after multiple more admits we realized he was getting meds from home and stashing them.
slothurknee Report
Nothing like getting a text from your mom (nurse) to tell you about the other text she got from a friend (ER nurse) that not one but two guys came into the ER with gerbils up their butts. They thought coming in a half hour apart would make things less suspicious. Yes, my mom and I have a weird relationship.
Red_Trivia Report
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich beneath a massive underboob that was so moldly you could smell the yeast from five feet away.
NurseExMachina Report
When we were changing and cleaning a sweet old man with dementia for the night my collegue who normally was quite stone faced gave up a scream. There were a full set of dentures in the diaper. Not too bad, but the sight of teeth down there were quite unsettling.
poetry_of_odors Report
I found a patient’s phone in her folds once.
slothysloths13 , Yura Fresh Report
I had a mental patient come in who had a carrot stuck up his a*s. He claimed that there was soil inside him so that the carrot can grow.
InNotes , Chu Chup Hinh Report
Nurse here. 67 year old with pill bottle in the r****m. He ended up having to go to the OR.
asolitaryecho , Bruno Guerrero Report
Insulin pen stuck in one of their multiple flank folds. The irony was lost on the patient, but not on me.
anon Report
Received a patient, F70, on orthopedic floor as admit for femoral head fracture. She complained of back pain. Was at home eating dinner with family, fell back out of chair. She was laying on a family sized box of cereal when we rolled her for skin check and linen removal. Captain Crunch, I believe. Back pain resolved. Missed by EMS and ER.
goofydad Report
A buddy has a regular patient come in with Mag flashlights in a his* as every month. They keep throwing the flashlight away and the patient keeps buying them and shoving them up there. The patients husband tells him just by a 4 foot d**o and the guy is like “it’s not the same.”
Gunslinger_11 Report
A very large number of sesame seeds all over a protruding rounded abdomen. Like, not just spilled a few off a bagel - like, her abdomen was a sesame seed bagel.
Pistalrose Report
A nurses name badge 🤣.
Caitgrace121 Report
Starbursts under breasts of a male patient. He saw me holding it and asked if I can give it to him he wants to have it later.
osuzu Report
A big a*s lizard in a patients hair when weighing them during intake at the county jail.
justcallmedrzoidberg , Magnus Hagdorn Report
My dads an ER doc and he sees ketchup bottles pretty frequently. Not the plastic ones either. I guess the glass ones slide in better. That being said, the best one he’s told me was a mannequin arm cut off at the elbow. And before you ask it was deep enough to need medical help getting it out.
theedjman , Ellie Burgin Report
Asked this to my nan. She’s seen it all, from vegetables to a f*****g jar of vegemite.
Lord_TTT Report
A relative of mine is a nurse (not in the er) and has told me stories she’s heard from er nurses. Her stories mainly comprise of hide-and-seek tampons, some weirder than others. As for the stories she’s told me relayed from er nurses: toy cars in a guy’s as, glass bottles, etc.. yet the weirdest imo is of a woman who went in because she had stuffed a s**t ton of grapes in her v***a. I think about that one often.
fuckingsartre Report
In New Zealand a guy put an eel up his b*m.
aguybrowsingreddit Report
Sharps bin. Had to be surgically removed.
Bopstop22 Report
Stapler. It was red, but not a Slimline unfortunately :-(.
anon , Eric E Castro Report
There was a man with a prayer candle in his a**e.
Seinfeld101 , Phillip Pessar Report
So I work in Paeds (kids), so not too many of these stories, but we had a 15yo come in with a PEZ dispenser !?!?!? The sharp edges :/ Had a couple of small light bulbs that somehow didn’t break in extraction (the kind in a bedside lamp) luckily, but that’s kinda boring.
Capzien89 Report
Nurse here….guy came into the ER with a yankee candle stuck in his a*s. It broke during removal and it was my job to piece it back together to ensure we got everything. Nurses are definitely underpaid. Side note…he had to call his sister to let her know what was going. He almost died from having to do that alone.
EasywththeteethKaren Report
Husband is an ER doc who trained in India. While still in med school, he had a case in which a young man was admitted in tremendous pain. Apparently, he had taken liberties with a young woman and her male family members found him and inserted a giant spool in his r****m.
_TouchedByAnUncle Report
You know those glass Cheez Whiz jars? The family sized one. The flared bottom got stuck due to the suction. He also said you can buy empty “d**dos” that you put a hamster or a ferret in it… They move around and freak out so it stimulates the inside.
ChubbyTheCakeSlayer Report
A doorknob… Not even joking.
anon Report
Postage stamp on a patient’s perineum….
SubjectHonest3109 Report
Checking a wrist sprain on a 102 yo female, unwrapped the bandage and peeled a pair of wound care scissors from her wrist. Didn’t show up on the x-ray they just took.
anroidkitty Report
Found a quarter on someone’s buttcheek when I was cleaning them up from their liquid sh**splosion after they drank stuff not for human consumption.
tacobitch91 Report
Not the weirdest, but possibly the most awkward. Teenage boy brought in by his mother with her do stuck in his r*m.
Zeethro Report
One of our behavioral health patients approached staff on day 4 of her admission complaining of “vaginal pain” and was stating that she had “ketchup in my cooch” (her words). Sent her to the ER for medical clearance … she had 4 ketchup packets in her va, as well as a cm that was full of feces and tied off.
SarcasticBassMonkey Report
An 8-Ball. The 8 was radio-opaque and was clearly visible on the X-ray. Another case, a large oblong river rock. Another case, a mortar shell.
blitzwit143 Report
In nursing school doing ED clinicals, had a morbidly obese patient. I’m talking 650lbs+, and even broke the bariatric bed. Of course they order a foley and it was punted off to all the nursing students. Found wet and almost completely disintegrated Doritos in the folds on one of her thighs. That wasn’t the only thing we all found but that was the one I found.
anon Report
Maggots. 😢.
DancingRhubarbaroo Report
A ton of mnms and when I pulled the sheet to change it, basically a whole bag fell all over the floor.
Diabeast_5 Report
I thought my patient had a BM, checked the bed. Something t**d shaped rolled out from underneath my patient!! It was a breakfast sausage.
lou-chains Report
One time we couldn’t find our rapid (MRT) pager. It was in the back skin folds of a 400 lb patient. Day shift had no idea where it was - we found it coincidentally during bath time.
grubbylilnursehands Report
Not me but an RN I work with found a rat in the bedsheets with a pt from a notoriously s****y SNF in the area. The rat was dead BTW.
snowbellsnblocks Report
I work as a scribe in my local emergency room. I remember on one of my first shifts a woman came in in police custody to get a medical clearance before going to jail after the cops found ds in her vehicle. Anyway, doc ended up finding three moderately sized bags of h*n stuffed up there… guess she figured nobody would look there. They think she hid it right before pulling her over.
justcallmeMD Report
It’s a tie between a ziplock baggie of crystal m**h, and a croquet ball.
averygronau Report
A friend who works in the A and E told me they’d had a guy come in multiple times with random unopened jars of condiments and jams stuck up his a**e. Once it was an unopened jar of marmite, another time it was marmalade, another time it was an empty gherkin jar. He’s come in about 4 or 5 times now.
beansm8beans Report
I was turning my patient to do a skin check after his knee replacement and I found a twist tie, like the kind they use to close packages of bread and stuff, stuck to my patient’s s*****m 🥴.
carlyfm19 Report
A Burger King wrapper in a skin fold. Patient was adamant they hadn’t eaten Burger King in at least two weeks 🫠.
msangryredhead Report
NPO diabetic in DKA, skittles under her pannus.
Illustrious-Stick458 Report
I admitted a patient who clearly had some significant mental health issues and the patient had a remote control under their panus as well as a wash cloth. It was rather unfortunate. I also see this is not an uncommon occurrence.
ChazRPay Report
EKG stickers for a 12 lead on an indigent patient in Detroit. “That’s not weird” you say. Wait a moment. Looking at his chart, he hadn’t had a recent EKG. His last was over a year ago! And… yup! He still had his hospital wristband on from his hospital visit over a year ago. There was so much dirt caked onto his skin, some of the stickers looked like they had been absorbed into his skin. Maybe they had been, because when we removed some of the stickers, they took skin with them.
Briaaanz Report
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!
Follow Bored Panda on Google News!
Not your original work? Add source
Unlock an Enhanced Experience with Bored Panda Premium
Go ad-free, access unlimited content, and enjoy our sleek dark mode. Your favorite stories, uninterrupted.
No fees, cancel anytime
Olympian Makes Stunning Admission After Judge’s Conspicuous Scores Ignite Cheating Accusations
