Weddings are notorious for sparking drama between spouses and their loved ones. From getting every detail right to making sure one of the biggest days of your life is special for everyone, saying “I do” puts a lot of pressure on a couple. Especially when your nuptials extend past a traditional model, like having to navigate the twists and turns of blended family dynamics.
However, while some see this event as a celebration of love that should include any adult or child the happy pair cares about, others take the opportunity to cause heated disputes that divide the whole family. Unfortunately, Redditor Intrepid-Thought1752 experienced the latter scenario firsthand.
One mom recently sparked drama after she uninvited her daughter from the wedding to avoid upsetting her fiancé’s family
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The 15-year-old teen shared the whole incident with the AITA community to ask for perspective
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Many believed that refusing to invite your partner’s child to your wedding and causing tension in the mother-daughter bond is enough to sound the alarm on this relationship. But the unfortunate reality is that thrusting into a new domestic situation can be daunting and challenging for every member of the family (although that does not give the right to make a child feel unwelcome in the family). Thankfully, the author of this story has a support network to help her navigate through this unfortunate situation and can count on her brothers and dad to have her back.
Still, conflicts between two families that come together under one roof are nothing new. While stepfamilies were once a rarity in American culture, they are becoming increasingly more common. According to the U.S. Bureau of Census, 1300 new stepfamilies are formed every day, and over half of families in the country are remarried or re-coupled. It has become one of the fastest-growing household types, so finding yourself in the world of “steps” has become a norm for many. But research from the Stepfamily Foundation revealed that 75% complain they are not getting the resources needed to properly understand their new family situation.
Let’s face it, sometimes blended families just don’t blend. The statistics on stepfamily success are dire, with divorce rates exponentially increasing to how many times you marry. Moreover, the U.S. Census Bureau and the 20-year Virginia Longitudinal Study of Divorce and Remarriage stated that more than 60 percent and up to 73 percent of marriages involving children from previous partnerships ultimately fail.
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Bored Panda previously had a chat with Dr. Lisa Doodson , a psychologist and author of How to be a Happy Stepmum , about the challenges people face in new family situations. Being the founder of Happy Steps , the UK’s only research-based stepfamily resource center, she aims to help families and individuals strengthen their relationships.
“Stepfamilies take a long time to form — much longer than people expect or want, and one of the reasons is role confusion,” Dr. Doodson told us. “We know what a mum or dad’s role is, but stepparents and stepchildren is far less clear. The best way to approach this is to talk to your partner about your expectations and understand theirs. If there are differences, then try and find compromises. It may be that you just need more time to adapt and feel more confident.”
The psychologist pointed out that when people inevitably find themselves in the middle of a family argument, they should remember there are always two sides to every disagreement. Plus, it’s always important to understand why people are behaving the way they are.
“Disputes are common and normal and everyone finds a way to adapt and change. If you remember to look for the positives rather than focusing on the issues then you should be able to work through the challenges,” Dr. Doodson said. “Stepfamilies are full of complex relationships and emotions. There is often no quick fix but with patience and kindness, you will find the right way for your new family to work and flourish.”
However, this is a delicate situation that is taking a toll on a teenager’s well-being. While it’s reassuring to know the author of this post has someone who’ll be there for her no matter what, parents shouldn’t make their kids feel like they’re unworthy of their love. What do you think about this whole ordeal? Do you justify the user’s actions or believe she was in the wrong in this situation? We’d love to hear your thoughts, so be sure to leave them down below.
The vast majority of Redditors sided with the daughter and deemed that the only people at fault here are the mother and her fiancé
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