Every couple should try to start saving money together, especially if they want to secure their family’s future. This might only become a problem if one person is secretive about their finances, even though they know it might impact their partner.

This is exactly what happened between a woman and her husband because he refused to be honest with her about the supposed trust funds that were kept aside for their children. Eventually, she couldn’t take his secrecy anymore and desperately asked folks online for advice.

More info: Mumsnet

When one spouse can’t be honest with their partner about their finances, it might end up impacting their marriage

Family outdoors by the water with mom looking upset and husband smiling while carrying children on a sunny day

Family outdoors by the water with mom looking upset and husband smiling while carrying children on a sunny day - 1

The poster shared that she had been married to her husband for over ten years, and that during that time, his father had mentioned saving money for their children

Text post about a mom upset with husband over secret funds and feeling led on after 10 years of marriage.

Text post about a mom upset with husband over secret funds and feeling led on after 10 years of marriage. - 2

Mom upset with husband over secret funds and family’s frugal lifestyle causing tension and stress in relationship.

Mom upset with husband over secret funds and family’s frugal lifestyle causing tension and stress in relationship. - 3

Text message explaining money siphoned into secret trusts and accounts, highlighting upset husband over hidden funds.

Text message explaining money siphoned into secret trusts and accounts, highlighting upset husband over hidden funds. - 4

Alt text: Text describing a wife upset about her husband’s secret funds and money not being available when needed.

Alt text: Text describing a wife upset about her husband’s secret funds and money not being available when needed. - 5

Mom upset husband in a serious conversation, sitting opposite each other in a modern living room setting discussing secret funds.

Mom upset husband in a serious conversation, sitting opposite each other in a modern living room setting discussing secret funds. - 6

The problem is that whenever the woman asked her husband about the trust funds kept for their kids, he would beat around the bush and tell her not to worry about it

Text excerpt showing a mom upset over husband’s secret funds and financial decisions impacting their household.

Text excerpt showing a mom upset over husband's secret funds and financial decisions impacting their household. - 7

Text excerpt about mom upset with husband over secret funds for medical treatment, highlighting financial strain and credit card use.

Text excerpt about mom upset with husband over secret funds for medical treatment, highlighting financial strain and credit card use. - 8

Mom upset with husband over secret funds while discussing a new hobby and handling minor life emergencies.

Mom upset with husband over secret funds while discussing a new hobby and handling minor life emergencies. - 9

Text excerpt showing a mom upset with husband discussing secret funds and trust for their children’s future.

Text excerpt showing a mom upset with husband discussing secret funds and trust for their children’s future. - 10

Text showing a conversation where a husband squirms and talks about making others really work for secret funds.

Text showing a conversation where a husband squirms and talks about making others really work for secret funds. - 11

Man sitting on an orange couch with arms raised, showing a frustrated expression about secret funds in a home setting.

Man sitting on an orange couch with arms raised, showing a frustrated expression about secret funds in a home setting. - 12

The poster also realized that they couldn’t access the trust funds for emergencies or for their children’s university, so she started becoming suspicious

Mom upset with husband over secret funds, questioning trusts and the use of money for education expenses.

Mom upset with husband over secret funds, questioning trusts and the use of money for education expenses. - 13

Text excerpt showing a mom upset with her husband for keeping secret funds and not explaining the details.

Text excerpt showing a mom upset with her husband for keeping secret funds and not explaining the details. - 14

Mom upset over husband’s secret funds, feeling misled and confused about access and purpose of the money.

Mom upset over husband’s secret funds, feeling misled and confused about access and purpose of the money. - 15

Text image showing a message about a mom upset with her husband over secret funds discovered after marriage.

Text image showing a message about a mom upset with her husband over secret funds discovered after marriage. - 16

Text excerpt showing a mom upset with her husband over secret funds, expressing frustration about their marriage.

Text excerpt showing a mom upset with her husband over secret funds, expressing frustration about their marriage. - 17

The woman even questioned her husband whether the trust fund money even existed, and he stated that he had seen the paperwork, but refused to tell her more

Ever since the poster got married to her husband, his father, who was quite wealthy and frugal, shared that he had kept money aside for their children. He mentioned that the money had been kept in trust funds, but he refused to explain exactly how much had been saved and when it would be given to the kids.

According to professionals , adults can decide to keep financial information a secret from their children until they are of age, but it might help to keep them at least a little bit in the loop. The reason why people might keep trust funds a secret is so that their kids can learn proper money management in the meantime.

Even if the grandfather was trying to keep his grandkid’s money a secret, the poster felt that he should have at least told her how much was kept aside so that she didn’t have to worry so much about savings. Even her husband kept beating around the bush and just kept telling her not to worry about the matter.

It’s possible that the dad and grandpa were concerned that all the “multiple hundreds of thousands” in the trust funds would spoil the children. That’s why experts state that it’s important for adults to make sure their kids are financially savvy and independent before giving them more money than they can handle.

Upset mom gesturing angrily at husband in kitchen, who looks away while holding a bowl, hinting at secret funds conflict.

Upset mom gesturing angrily at husband in kitchen, who looks away while holding a bowl, hinting at secret funds conflict. - 18

The woman slowly started getting suspicious about her husband’s refusal to be open about their childrens’ trust fund. She also asked him whether the money was even real, and he assured her that he had seen the paperwork for it, but didn’t open up more about what amount had been saved.

He also expected their children to work hard for their university costs and not ask them for a penny. That shocked the OP as she couldn’t understand when the kids’ trust funds would actually be used, if they couldn’t even touch them during emergencies or for their education.

Although it might seem weird that the man kept his wife out of the loop about finances, studies have actually found that nearly four out of ten married people keep financial secrets from one another. This might include information about loans, debts, savings, credit cards, and even accounts.

That’s why the woman finally decided to ask netizens for advice about her situation, because she felt exasperated about her husband’s lack of communication. She also felt that since she was the higher earner in their relationship, if there were no trust funds, then she had to start saving up more for their children’s future.

What do you think about the woman’s predicament, and what advice would you give to her? Do share your honest thoughts down below.

Folks were shocked by the man’s behavior and felt that the poster should set boundaries with him so that he would stop mentioning the supposed trust funds

Mom upset with husband over secret funds and financial decisions causing family tension and frustration.

Mom upset with husband over secret funds and financial decisions causing family tension and frustration. - 19

Screenshot of a forum post expressing frustration about money attitudes and the impact of secret funds on relationships.

Screenshot of a forum post expressing frustration about money attitudes and the impact of secret funds on relationships. - 20

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a husband’s secret funds and a mom upset about the money access issue.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a husband’s secret funds and a mom upset about the money access issue. - 21

Mom upset with husband after discovering secret funds, expressing frustration and disbelief in an online comment.

Mom upset with husband after discovering secret funds, expressing frustration and disbelief in an online comment. - 22

Online forum post with user Createausername1970 questioning age or conditions related to trust funds, reflecting mom upset husband secret funds.

Online forum post with user Createausername1970 questioning age or conditions related to trust funds, reflecting mom upset husband secret funds. - 23

Text excerpt discussing a mom upset about secret funds her husband keeps hidden, affecting financial planning.

Text excerpt discussing a mom upset about secret funds her husband keeps hidden, affecting financial planning. - 24

Mom upset with husband over secret funds, discussing savings, trust money doubts, and managing household expenses.

Mom upset with husband over secret funds, discussing savings, trust money doubts, and managing household expenses. - 25

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