Whether you like it or not, getting married means that you will have to be around your partner’s family. And this can be a huge blessing if they’re kind, generous, and eager to help with childcare. But it can also be a nuisance, if it means you now have people in your life who feel entitled to your time and energy.
One new mom vented to the internet about her husband’s mother, who has a habit of showing up unannounced. Below, you’ll find the full story that she shared on Reddit detailing why she’s tired of being polite, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
In-laws are often very good at overstepping boundaries
Young woman holding baby close, symbolizing emotional strength amid conflict with mother-in-law uninvited visit.
One woman had to kick her MIL out of the house after she kept showing up uninvited
Woman confronts mother-in-law who showed up uninvited after sleeping, addressing boundaries and unexpected visits.
Woman kicks out mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was sleeping and breastfeeding her daughter.
Text excerpt showing a woman explaining her frustration about uninvited guests and kicking out her mother-in-law.
Woman firmly kicks out uninvited mother-in-law who showed up while she was sleeping, asserting boundaries and respect.
Text describing a woman kicking out her mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was sleeping.
Woman kicking out mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was sleeping, asserting she doesn’t care about guests.
Woman kicks out uninvited mother-in-law who showed up while she was sleeping, expressing I don’t care attitude.
Woman driving car at night, focused on the road, symbolizing strength in kicking out uninvited mother-in-law.
The MIL joke has a long and storied history
While “annoying mother-in-law” jokes might be the territory of comedy-hacks these days, this worn out genre does have some pedigree. While many jokes in history go unrecorded, no doubt due to scribes being joy-kills, some of the first instances appear to come from the ancient Romans.
The poet Juvenal, in Satire VI , jokes that no one can be truly happy while their mother-in-law is still alive. Given the Roman attitude towards women, this is possibly one of the most intense cases of punching down ever recorded. Then again, there are enough horror stories about in-laws that at least some of these jokes start to truly make sense. It wouldn’t be the first time an overbearing mother was the reason for relationship drama.
This is evidence that these jokes go back even further, if this sort of reference can be made without further elaboration. For whatever reason, unlike a lot of other ancient humor, this sort of joke could be made today and still get a few laughs every and then. Fortunately, without context, it has started to appear more like hack-humor.
Interestingly, most “current” mothers don’t actually find these jokes that offensive. One survey found that actual mothers-in-law saw the jokes as inoffensive, although not particularly funny. The reasoning was simple enough, they believed that they didn’t exhibit this sort of behavior, so these jokes simply didn’t apply to them.
Couple holding hands at table with coffee mugs, reflecting tension in a woman kicking out mother-in-law uninvited situation.
Personal boundaries are very important in any kind of relationship
The real issue isn’t that this woman is the wife’s mother-in-law, although that complicates things. It’s that she seems to be entirely unaware of normal personal boundaries . While some might see them as limiting, the truth is that boundaries are actually entirely essential for healthy relationships. Otherwise, as this story demonstrates, one person will just develop more and more resentment towards the other. This is often the genesis for so many breakups and divorces.
This can be particularly difficult with family, as a lot of the “normal” social norms are not there. After all, your parents have probably changed your diaper, how exactly do you make them understand what they can and cannot do? In laws can be even worse, as the only one who can really stop them is your partner, and, as this story shows, sometimes one’s partner does not at all hold the same boundary.
As many of the commenters noted, most of us would never show up at a close friend’s home unannounced, so why exactly should an in-law feel like this is acceptable. Unfortunately, this woman is going to need to sit down with her husband and make him understand. The fact that he is “embarrassed” means that he has fully overlooked her needs and wants in this situation, which is not the stuff that lasting relationships are made of. There are countless failed relationships that originated in the things people chose to keep to themselves.
Some readers wanted more details on the situation
Reddit discussion about woman setting boundaries with mother-in-law who showed up uninvited and disrupted her sleep.
Reddit conversation showing woman explaining how she told her mother-in-law to coordinate visits after uninvited trip complaint.
The majority thought the new mom was not at all to blame
Woman firmly tells uninvited mother-in-law to leave after showing up unannounced while she was sleeping.
Comment discussing privacy and boundaries in the home, highlighting husband and mother-in-law issues and new motherhood challenges.
Woman enforces boundaries by kicking out mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was resting.
Comment text discussing a situation where a woman confronts her mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was sleeping.
Comment on a forum post expressing frustration about being woken up from a nap, related to woman kicking out mother-in-law who showed up uninvited.
Comment on disrespectful mother-in-law showing up uninvited, emphasizing boundaries and need for informed consent on visitors.
Reddit comment discussing communication issues with husband and respect regarding uninvited mother-in-law visits after childbirth.
Comment text on a white background discussing a mama’s boy and advising to keep your eyes open.
Comment criticizing husband and mother-in-law for disrespect, suggesting to kick out the uninvited mother-in-law.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing a woman firmly setting boundaries with her mother-in-law who showed up uninvited.
Reddit comment about woman kicking out mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was sleeping.
However, some thought her reaction was too much
Woman firmly kicks out mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was sleeping, showing clear boundary setting.
Comment about woman kicking out mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was sleeping.
And a few thought she was absolutely in the wrong
Commenter criticizes behavior in a discussion about a woman kicking out mother-in-law who showed up uninvited.
Comment discussing tension between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law after uninvited visit while sleeping.
Comment on a forum discussing a woman kicking out her mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was sleeping.
Comment disputing a woman kicking out her mother-in-law who showed up uninvited while she was sleeping, discussing family dynamics.
Comment discussing someone being told they are overreacting and advised to get therapy before developing postpartum depression.
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