Pretty much everyone you know has an idea of what their dream job would be. The unfortunate part is that most people might not get a chance to work in that specific career, either due to life circumstances or a lack of trying.
In this story, though, a man managed to get the job of his dreams, but his wife wanted him to turn it down because it was with her company’s direct competitor. This obviously caused trouble, but it also made them question whether their careers were more important than their relationship.
More info: Reddit
When external factors begin impacting a marriage, it’s important to figure out whether your spouse is more important than what’s being argued about
Woman looking stressed at laptop, contemplating asking husband to turn down dream job and career opportunity.
The poster shared that she was the breadwinner of the household and that she was earning over $200k working in a very niche industry
Text post titled AITA for asking my husband to turn down his dream job for my career, with the body saying I’m going to be vague for privacy reasons, sorry.
Text displaying a woman’s story about being the breadwinner with a high-paying career, asking husband to turn down dream job.
Text discussing a husband with broad experience applying and interviewing for a dream job in his career.
Text excerpt explaining asking husband to turn down dream job due to career and job stability concerns.
Man in denim shirt sitting in an interview setting with two people reviewing a resume discussing career and job decisions.
Her unemployed husband landed an interview at a company that would allow him to do his dream job, but his wife was concerned, as it was her company’s direct competitor
Text about asking husband to turn down dream job due to company secrecy and industry conflict concerns.
Text excerpt about concerns when asking husband to turn down dream job for career trust and privacy reasons.
Text block displaying concern about trusting husband to turn down dream job due to specialized career field limitations.
Two professional women shaking hands in office, discussing asking husband to turn down dream job career decision.
If her husband got the job, it would put her career at risk and cause her company’s clients to mistrust her, so she asked him not to do the interview
Text discussing asking husband to turn down dream job due to financial concerns and job market challenges.
Text excerpt about asking husband to turn down dream job, expressing conflict and concern over career choice and support.
Text excerpt about a husband turning down dream job career offer and concerns about support and priority.
A woman asking her husband about turning down a dream job career while he looks stressed on a couch.
Her husband was extremely angry and called her selfish for being an obstacle to his career, so he went ahead and did the interview, which led to a job offer
Text excerpt showing a person feeling betrayed after asking husband to turn down dream job and informing company higher-ups.
Text excerpt showing a firm decision about asking husband to turn down dream job offer or face immediate separation.
Text expressing emotional struggle after asking husband to turn down dream job, balancing love and career priorities.
The woman gave him an ultimatum—accepting the job and getting a divorce, or declining the offer and letting her keep taking care of the household
The poster explained that she was earning an incredibly high salary due to the specialized niche career that she was working in. Due to that, and the fact that her husband hadn’t found a job yet, she was managing their household. It’s only when he got an opportunity to interview with a particular company that she realized it could be a problem.
The man really wanted to work with that organization because it would be his dream job. Unfortunately, since it was a direct competitor of his wife’s company, she felt that it would cause a lot of problems and essentially blackball her in the entire industry.
According to HR specialists , companies have to make it clear to individuals right at the start about their confidentiality policies. Some organizations even have rules about spouses not working in adversarial roles, as this can cause a lot of problems with regard to top-secret information.
To understand this more in-depth, Bored Panda also reached out to Peter Ďuriš, who is the CEO and Co-founder of Kickresume . He mentioned that “if your spouse is already working in their dream job, asking them to give it up is a big sacrifice—they might have worked for years to get this job before they even met you.”
“On the other hand, if your partner has been offered their dream job, or is about to apply for it, there might be valid reasons to discuss it as a couple before they go ahead. If their new role would mean you both having to move, or even them living away from home part of the time, there’s no question that it would change things and that’s worth talking about.”
“Asking your partner to give up something that’s as important to them as the job they’ve always wanted could definitely have an impact on your relationship. You can see how it could cause resentment, or make someone feel like their partner is standing in the way of their career,” he added.
Couple having a serious conversation as woman discusses asking husband to turn down dream job career opportunity.
The woman wasn’t going to compromise her career for her husband. She reasoned that since he had a general education , he could apply to many fields, but since she had a specialized education, she only had this niche career to fall back on. That’s why she took such a strong stand against his desire to interview.
This angered the man, and he decided to go for the interview anyway. He even ended up getting an offer from the company. That’s when the woman decided that she had to inform her organization, and then give her husband an important ultimatum .
Peter Duris explained that “some companies might require you to disclose whether your partner works at a competitor or any other potential conflicts of interest, but this would usually apply if your role is very high-level and you have access to important information. In these cases, you’d usually have to sign an NDA anyway, meaning that your employers’ secrets are safe!”
He also shared that “if you do work at competing companies with your partner, and your employers are fine with this, there are plenty of ways to work around it. Just make sure you don’t talk about anything confidential, and it might be best to stay in separate rooms when you’re working from home—remember to shut the door if you’re on a call, as voices carry!”
In this situation, the man had been out of work for a while, so to have an opportunity to get back to it, and that too, in his dream role, was too great an opportunity to pass up. Whereas, the woman felt that she had laid such strong roots in her company that jeopardizing it for her husband’s job didn’t make sense.
Who do you think should back down in this situation? Let us know what you think.
Most folks sided with the woman, but they felt that she and her husband should have discussed such possibilities much earlier
Reddit discussion about asking husband to turn down dream job for career and relationship compromises.
Reddit conversation discussing asking husband to turn down dream job due to its impact on career and family issues.
Comment discussing the challenge of asking husband to turn down dream job to protect her entire career and their relationship balance.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing the dilemma of asking husband to turn down dream job or career opportunity.
Comment discussing asking husband to turn down dream job career to protect specialized career and relationship balance.
Screenshot of a discussion about asking husband to turn down a dream job to protect a spouse’s career and respect.
Comment discussing asking husband to turn down dream job, prioritizing career and financial security concerns in marriage decisions.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing asking husband to turn down dream job due to career and relationship concerns.
Comment explaining a husband asking to turn down a dream job career as a selfish and unreasonable request.
Commenter’s detailed advice on asking husband to turn down dream job and managing career and relationship challenges.
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