Think of those everyday annoyances that aren’t truly evil but would make them grumble. Slow Wi-Fi? Pebble in their shoe? Let’s hear your best ideas!
Every night, a lone mosquito makes that high-pitch buzzing noise right by their ear, when they are in their room with the lights off trying to sleep. It hides behind the headboard when they turn on the light to try to k**l it, only to take flight again when the lights turn off. When they do manage to fall asleep, the mosquito targets the knuckles on their hand.
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Socks are always slightly damp.
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An inoperable skin tag on the edge of the nostril that looks like a booger
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May their outfit get caught on a door handle every time they’re already late—because of their own d**n fault.
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They have to endure one minor irritation, but the second they get used to it they have to endure another different one.
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My curse would be that all forms of oral hygiene—toothpaste, mouthwash, floss, etc—would taste so awful to them that their gag reflex kicks in. Forever.
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Both sides of the pillow are perpetually warm
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They lose all of their earring backs.
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Random a**l leakage
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Always joins the slow queue.
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Anytime she raised her voice, she’s start coughing.
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All the bare feet and Lego blocks. Or is that too extreme?
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Hard to beat Johnny Carson: “May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your robes!”
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50/50 chance each fart could be a shart.
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Having a tiny rock in your shoe all day. An eyelash in your eye. Nasal congestion, where you can’t taste anything. Sore muscles. I also think it would be pretty annoying if every car you ever own, you have to use hand turning signals. And confuse everyone all the time and get honked at.
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To have a flap of skin in-between their front teeth so it always looks like they have something in their teeth
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They lost their entire sense of smell. Seems insignificant, but think about it. Not being able to smell ANYTHING at any time. Whether it be the sweet aromas of food or the dangers of smoke or other harmful scents.
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I heard this from someone who probably heard it from someone else, but agree 100%: When I die, I wish for my cremated remains to be mixed into a drink and my enemies be forced to drink it.
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Every time they go to the toilet the seat is warm.
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Simultaneous broken appliances they own.
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stub a toe when they get out of bed every morning
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Incontinence. :)
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Uncontrollable IBS. But only in public.
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I wish his RING camera would not work whenever I’m in the hallway/passing his door. He spies on me with it, and gets involved in my business that has nothing to do with him. I wish there was a way to cause interference.
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That the person who made the fresh carafe of coffee didn’t screw the lid back on tightly.
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That they stumble over every crack.
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Borrowing from C.S Lewis, in ‘‘The Magician’s Nephew’’: every seat be red-hot when they sit, and their feet in bed always ice-cold.
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Their favorite song never comes on shuffle, but their least favorite one plays twice in a row.
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That they have horrible farts in a steamy shower
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That they would have to desperately pee right before giving an important public speech.
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Walking on floors made of Legos…
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For all the people who have ridiculed me for blowing my nose (it’s loud, but not on purpose): A perpetually runny/stuffy nose (which is basically my nose) and never a tissue box nearby.
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Paper cuts
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their internet/wi-fi connection randomly drops on whatever device they’re using at the time.
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Light bulbs in their house randomly burn out. No electrician can find any cause for it, but every week they have to replace at least one light bulb.
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That they run out of toilet paper every single time they have a messy poop.
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Hives
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They tread of Lego or plugs everyday
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Spam calls every hour from various numbers making them impossible to block.
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Sudden burst of uncontrollable hiccups any time they have to talk to someone important at their work or to anyone they suddenly take an interest in. It stops as soon as the situation passes and nothing can stop it til then.
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one link missing from every zipper
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An incessant, deeply personal, embarrassing itch, whenever they speak to someone who matters to them.
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They run out of conditioner before shampoo. They can never find the right condiments for their sandwiches when they need it.
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As soon as they put their socks and shoes on and go to leave somewhere a hair is wrapped around their toe.
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I have a skin condition that makes me itch like ants are crawling all over me, and they bite occasionally as well. Take that, enemy of mine! Try sitting still somewhere important when you’re perched on an ants’ nest being eaten alive.
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May they suffer perpetual insect bites between all their toes and fingers.
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A permanent pebble in their shoe.
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Feeling like day three/four of they’ve shaved their bits and pieces but permanently.
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Wet socks, wet shoes and wet car seats.
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a hairy mole on the end of their nose that grows long white hairs……if plucked they grow back overnight again and again….
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Constant hangnail.
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Psoriasis.
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Earbud wire caught on cabinet handle.
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Every floor in your house is squeaky.
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Sand in their underwear at random times.
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Slow drivers and red lights at interesections. Always
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Must always tell the truth.
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May all their farts gurgle!
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Their voice becomes inaudible to everybody on the planet. Especially good for people who constantly order other people around and expect them to obey.
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May they have an itch time that they can reach but every single time they scratch it, it changes locations
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Faulty charge cable
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How about a piece of lego in their shoe or Only odd shoes - their are no pairs.
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That their little toe finds the edge of a table or door way every single day
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Allergies to d**n near everything and all of it makes them sneeze violently which makes them leaky. Enjoy going back to nappies…
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Hit your foot on a table corner everyday until the end of time.
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That their shower drain is always clogged. Or their toilet. Maybe both.
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The ring-shaped muscle at the end of their alimentary canal always develops an itch whenever they go out in public.
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