People can choose to be monogamous or polyamorous depending on what they feel the most connected to, but this can only happen if their partner is on board. Unfortunately, some folks might manipulate the situation so that they can have their cake and eat it too, and more often than not, it tends to backfire on them.
This is exactly what happened when a cunning man convinced his fiancée to open up their relationship just so that he could date his coworker, but ended up with a broken engagement instead.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, in the hopes of having the best of both worlds, people might end up losing what matters most to them
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The poster’s fiancé randomly asked if they could have an open relationship, and when she agreed, he started dating his coworker, and she dated a guy from the gym
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Over time, the woman realized that her boyfriend was much more caring and attentive than her emotionally unavailable fiancé, so she considered ending the engagement
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The woman broke up with her partner at a dinner with his parents, and he later angrily revealed that he had only opened the relationship so that he could date his coworker
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The poster ended up blocking her ex-fiancé and even got a chance to speak to his new girlfriend and make her reconsider her relationship with him
Even though the OP and her partner had been together for four years and were engaged, it seems like there were cracks in their relationship. She mentioned that he wasn’t that affectionate, hardly got her flowers , and didn’t make much of an effort to take her out on dates. The kicker was when he randomly asked if they could open their relationship without actually discussing it with her over time.
In situations like this, where one partner wants to be poly and their significant other might not be on the same page, experts state that it’s important not to rush into the decision. Both people need to discuss the matter thoroughly and not agree to it simply because they’re fearful of losing the other person.
It’s possible that the poster didn’t know how else to handle her fiancé’s request, so she agreed to it and didn’t bat an eye when he began dating his coworker. She also decided to date a man from her gym and was pleasantly surprised when he turned out to be kind, thoughtful, and affectionate, everything her partner was not.
As the poster explained, she grew up around emotionally unavailable men, which might have colored her relationship experience and made her believe that was all she could have. That’s why professionals explain that it’s important to identify the signs of an immature man as soon as possible and end things before their behavior becomes a drain on your mental and emotional state.
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Eventually, the woman decided to break up with her partner because her boyfriend was treating her so much better than he ever had. She just didn’t know how to broach the subject, but ended up blurting it out in front of their family, since their get-together seemed to revolve around the upcoming wedding.
Just like this woman had realized that polyamory didn’t work for her, psychologists explain that it’s okay for folks to change their minds if a certain relationship dynamic doesn’t suit them. That’s why it’s essential that partners keep checking in with one another so that they can figure out what works best for them.
The problem is that the OP’s fiancé had only opened their relationship so that he could date his coworker without it being considered cheating . This cunning decision of his turned out to be his undoing because it made his partner finally see his red flags clearly, and also find someone better.
That’s exactly why he blew up at her and tried to make it seem like she was the unreasonable one in the situation. Luckily, the woman had the support of her new boyfriend, who helped her move out of her unstable fiancé’s place, and also started a better and healthier relationship.
What do you think about the OP’s decision to end things with her husband-to-be in order to date her boyfriend? Let us know your honest thoughts on this situation.
Folks were glad that the man got what he deserved and that the poster was able to move on from him
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