First crushes are a beautiful, awkward, and usually fleeting part of the teenage experience. You watch your kid navigate the clumsy world of romance, offering gentle advice and trying not to be too embarrassing. It’s a sweet, low-stakes preview of the person they’re becoming.
But for some over-the-top parents , that first innocent crush can spell a binding, lifelong contract. They think this one choice will dictate their child’s entire future. For one father, the fact that his son’s new girlfriend uses a wheelchair was enough to trigger a full-blown panic about a future that was, at this point, entirely imaginary.
More info: Reddit
A teenager’s first crush is a beautiful, awkward, and usually harmless milestone
Teen girl in a wheelchair smiling at a desk with another student, highlighting love and wheelchair user concerns.
After a 13-year-old started dating the ‘prettiest girl in school,’ he eagerly shared the news with his parents
Text excerpt about an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s future who is in love with a wheelchair user.
Text excerpt describing a 13-year-old boy expressing his feelings for a wheelchair user despite his dad’s ableist concerns.
Father and teenage son having a serious conversation in kitchen, highlighting ableist dad worried about son’s future and love life.
But when dad learned that the girl was in a wheelchair, he had a full-blown panic attack about his son’s future
Text describing a concerned ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s relationship with a wheelchair user.
Text excerpt showing an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son dating a wheelchair user.
Text on a plain white background reads I called my husband silly and he got mad at me. Am I the jerk?
Middle-aged dad looking worried and distant, while woman appears concerned, symbolizing ableist dad’s worry about son.
His wife called his ableist fears ‘silly,’ and he exploded in a rage instead of seeing his n******c fear as the problem that it is
Screenshot of a forum post discussing an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s future with a wheelchair user girlfriend.
Screenshot of text showing a dad worried about his 13-year-old son dating a girl who uses a wheelchair.
Ableist dad worried about 13-year-old son’s future as he confesses love for a wheelchair user in family discussion.
Text image showing a message about an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s future with a wheelchair user.
Worried dad with a serious expression sitting in a cafe, reflecting on his 13-year-old son’s future and love life.
It was later revealed that he was projecting his own brother’s ‘cautionary tale’ of a h**h school romance onto his unsuspecting son
Text excerpt describing a worried ableist dad concerned about his 13-year-old son in love with a wheelchair user.
Ableist dad worries about 13-year-old son’s future after confessing love for a wheelchair user named Yuki.
Text excerpt showing a dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s future after confessing love for a wheelchair user.
Text discussing an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s future and love for a wheelchair user.
Text discussing an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s future and love for a wheelchair user.
Father and teenage son having a serious conversation on a couch, reflecting concerns about love and wheelchair users.
The mom calmly dismantled his flawed logic with two simple questions, leaving him speechless and slightly regretful
Text discussing a dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s feelings for a wheelchair user and future challenges.
Text about wanting to do something for Valentine’s day and learning basic phrases in native language for wheelchair user love.
Text image showing a message about listening to love songs and learning about a native country.
Text excerpt showing advice about avoiding big promises and grand gestures to prevent disappointment and feeling overwhelmed.
Text excerpt showing an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s future loving a wheelchair user.
She asked if the dad knew anyone else who married their first crush, and also if he would have still dated her if she were in a wheelchair
Lucas was your average 13-year-old, simply excited to tell his folks about his new girlfriend . Yuki was the “prettiest girl in school,” and he thought he had hit the jackpot. The mom, hearing her son gush about how “cool” and “pretty” she was, was thrilled for him. The dad, James, also seemed fine with it, at least at first. But there was one detail that was about to send James into a full-blown parental panic: Yuki is in a wheelchair.
Later that night, the dad’s cool facade crumbled. He cornered his wife, expressing a flurry of “concerns” about their son, not knowing what he’s getting himself into. When his wife, completely baffled by his ableist f***k-out, called him “silly,” he got mad, and an unexpected conflict was born in their household.
His wife pushed him to explain his bizarre reaction, forcing him to admit he was projecting a very specific family trauma onto his son. His own brother had met his wife in h**h school, and their relationship was apparently a cautionary tale in his mind. Because Lucas had also admitted to his dad that he was “in love,” James was fast-forwarding this innocent, teenage crush into a lifelong commitment.
The mom dismantled her husband’s entire argument with two brilliant questions. First, could he name anyone else who married their h**h school sweetheart? (He couldn’t). Second, would he have chased her if she had been in a wheelchair? (He admitted he probably would have). This, combined with a sweet conversation with her son, has thankfully brought her husband back to reality.
The mother, ever the voice of reason, knows that teenage love is a fleeting, if beautiful, thing. Her son is happy, her husband is “coming around,” and she’s ready to just let her son enjoy his first, innocent crush without the weight of his father’s projected anxieties.
Teen boy happily pushing a wheelchair user outside, highlighting concerns about ableist dad and son’s future love life.
The husband’s entire panic is based on a statistically flawed premise. His fear that this relationship will inevitably lead to a premature, life-altering marriage is an extreme outlier, not the norm. According to a wide range of studies , only about 2% of marriages are between h**h school sweethearts. His emotional reasoning is overriding statistical reality, and he will drive himself nuts with this way of thinking!
His “concerns” are explained by Psychology Today as a typical case of parental projection. Parents often project their own anxieties about the future or their own past experiences onto their kids. The father isn’t really worried about his son’s future. Instead, he’s re-litigating his own family’s history, and in doing so, he is placing an unfair and unnecessary burden on his son’s first experience with romance.
In contrast, the son’s reaction to Yuki is a beautiful and natural example of a child who has not yet been tainted by societal prejudice. Education resources remind us that “ableism” is a learned behavior, a set of biases against people with disabilities. Lucas’s ability to see Yuki as just a “super cool and super pretty” girl, without even mentioning her wheelchair at first, is a sign that he sees her as a whole person, not just a disability.
The mother’s approach is conscious parenting done right! She is actively protecting her son from his father’s projected anxiety and his ableist views. By giving her son the space to be excited and to explore his feelings without judgment, she is fostering an environment of acceptance and teaching him that his own heart is a more reliable guide than his father’s fears.
The internet gave this mom the “parent of the year” award for her open-minded and calm approach to this potentially damaging fallout
Screenshot of an online discussion highlighting an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s love for a wheelchair user.
Comment thread discussing ableist dad worried about 13-year-old son’s future after confessing love for wheelchair user.
Screenshot of a conversation about a 14-year-old girl who is a wheelchair user and acceptance from an ableist dad.
Comment highlighting ableist dad’s concerns about his son’s future loving a wheelchair user and supporting inclusive attitudes.
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing an ableist dad worried about his son in love with a wheelchair user.
Comment expressing that the word silly is a much nicer choice, related to ableist dad worried about son’s love for wheelchair user.
Comment discussion about an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s relationship with a wheelchair user.
Screenshot of an online conversation where a dad expresses worry about his son in love with a wheelchair user.
Commenter sharing personal story about autistic child and concerns related to love and relationships with a wheelchair user.
Comment discussing concerns about a 14-year-old boy and the challenges of dating a wheelchair user.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son in love with a wheelchair user.
Comment discussing an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s love for a wheelchair user.
Comment discussing an ableist dad worried about his 13-year-old son’s future involving love with a wheelchair user.
Comment expressing confusion about marriage expectations for a son in love with a wheelchair user, highlighting ableist concerns.
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