Working parents deserve our respect and yours. Not only are they taking care of their children, but they’re also grinding away, building a stable financial future for their family. Having so many responsibilities weighing on your shoulders can be exhausting! And while you expect your relatives to have your back, unfortunately, some of them can’t quite empathize with your struggles.
Redditor u/Delicious_Welcome171, a working mom, opened up to the AITA community about a sensitive situation in her family. She shared how she finally snapped at her in-laws, who thought that putting her child in daycare once a week meant that she was taking it easy… when in fact, she was busy working. Scroll down to read the full story and to check out how the internet reacted. Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Being a working parent is hard. You constantly have to juggle massive responsibilities, which can lead to burnout
Working mom multitasking with toddler and laptop at home, managing work and childcare while on a phone call.
Text post about a stressed working mom snapping at in-laws who think daycare once a week is easy.
Working mom explains balancing work, childcare, and household duties while managing once-a-week daycare challenges.
Working mom explains challenges of flexible job and once-a-week daycare to in-laws who think she has it easy.
Text excerpt about working mom trying once-a-week daycare to manage work tasks and family responsibilities.
Working mom frustrated with in-laws who think once-a-week daycare means she has an easy break from childcare.
Working mom and older woman having tense conversation on couch, highlighting working mom stress with limited daycare.
Working mom vents frustration at in-laws who assume she has it easy with once-a-week daycare.
Working mom responds to in-laws who assume her once-a-week daycare schedule means she has an easy job.
Working mom reacts to in-laws underestimating her challenges with once-a-week daycare and parenting balance.
Working mom responds to in-laws who think she has it easy with once-a-week daycare and a break to relax.
Working mom having a tense conversation with in-laws at a family dinner, addressing daycare challenges and work-life balance.
Working mom snaps at in-laws who underestimate challenges of managing work and once-a-week daycare.
Alt text: Working mom responds to in-laws who think her once-a-week daycare schedule means she has it easy managing job and family.
Empathy, active listening, and practical support from family and friends can make a huge difference
A major way that you can help your relatives who have children is babysitting for them once in a while. But aside from practical help like that, perhaps even more important is your emotional support.
Spending quality time with them, hearing them out, letting them vent a bit, and offering advice when needed can really help them understand that they’re not alone. A bit of empathy really does go a long way.
On the flip side, if you constantly disregard working parents’ struggles, don’t actively listen to their experiences, and think that their lives are problem-free, you risk damaging your relationship with them.
Besides, frankly, it’s rude to claim that you know how a person feels better than they do. Balancing work and childcare is extremely difficult compared to just doing one or the other.
If you want to be a more emotionally intelligent, empathetic, and supportive person, you’ve got to start actively listening to other people. If you’re just waiting for your turn to speak, dial back a bit and focus on the other person’s wants, needs, and struggles. Everyone wants to be heard and seen.
Criticizing someone for taking their child to a daycare is unfriendly, to put it mildly. Especially if they use the time to focus on work, in order to provide for their family.
It’s vital that working parents don’t ignore their well-being. Proper rest is absolutely fundamental
NPR suggests that if you want to win back some time as a working parent, you can try looking for external support, such as asking for:
- More flexibility and assistance at work
- Help from your colleagues so you’re less overwhelmed
- Family and friends to babysit your children while you get some space to rest and take care of yourself
- Your partner to rebalance the workload at home so you’re not as depleted
- Help from your local community to support you from time to time
It’s also important to consistently take breaks so you don’t burn out. If you’re exhausted, it doesn’t help anyone. If you take good care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, you’re in a much better position to support your family.
NPR says that taking microbreaks can help. These are short, 10 to 15-minute breaks, where you intentionally don’t do anything productive. “So no washing dishes or reading work messages or whatever it is. Instead, choose something you find enjoyable and restorative, like taking a walk, sitting with your thoughts, or calling a friend.”
It can make a huge difference in your life if your colleagues and managers have your back
In a piece for The Guardian, Sian Stranks stressed that being a working parent can really take a toll on you.
“I found it’s not as simple as switching into mum mode the moment I leave the office. I spent my commute on the phone, doing work calls, replying to emails, making every second count before making Emma my primary focus for the next few hours until she fell asleep. After that, I used to be back on my emails finishing my tasks for the day,” Stranks shared her hectic experience.
“I felt I had to justify my new working arrangement by being available all the time, resulting in a sense of frustration that I wasn’t able to give either work or parenting 100%. This was not only exhausting, but impossible to keep up.”
Stranks’ advice for other working parents is that you should be honest with yourself about your capabilities. Rearrange your job and workload so that you and your manager have realistic expectations.
You’ll have to reprioritize how you handle work-related things, from schedules and admin stuff to email management, so that you and the company both win. “Do your best work, follow your passions, and be confident in your experience and voice.”
According to Stranks, having support mechanisms in place is invaluable. “Don’t allow yourself to get anxious about the unknown when a simple conversation may be all you need to set things straight. Forgive yourself for feeling uncertainty or guilt, as you’re not alone,” she urges.
Comment exchange about working mom’s equal partnership and managing household duties showing work stress and family balance.
Text conversation discussing challenges of working moms and misconceptions about daycare and stay-at-home parenting.
Comment from a working mom about challenges of balancing work, childcare, and in-laws misunderstanding daycare arrangements.
Text message discussing work challenges faced by a working mom responding to in-laws minimizing her job and daycare efforts.
Screenshot of a Reddit conversation where a working mom discusses frustration with in-laws about daycare and family expectations.
Comment thread about working mom frustrated with judgmental in-laws over once-a-week daycare and family childcare support.
Most readers rushed to support the working mom. Here’s their take on the family drama
Working mom multitasking at home, responding to in-laws who underestimate challenges of once-a-week daycare.
Comment from NoThanks8790 arguing working mom is not a stay at home mom and urging husband to share house chores.
Comment from working mom defending herself against in-laws who think once-a-week daycare means she has an easy job.
Comment discussing a working mom’s frustration with in-laws questioning her once-a-week daycare and job challenges.
Screenshot of a social media comment defending a working mom against criticism about once-a-week daycare from in-laws.
Working mom responds to in-laws doubting her challenges with once-a-week daycare and balancing a full-time job.
Comment from SimpleMondayPizza explaining that a work-from-home mom balances two full-time jobs, addressing daycare and in-laws.
Working mom explains challenges of balancing work and once-a-week daycare while facing judgment from in-laws.
Comment about working mom’s challenges with once-a-week daycare and in-laws’ misconceptions about her job.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment empathizing with working moms dealing with misunderstandings about daycare challenges.
Commenter expressing support for working mom who defends challenges of once-a-week daycare against in-laws
Comment from user AccomplishedAd9969 defending themselves amid criticism, highlighting challenges of working mom facing in-law judgments.
Comment from working mom defending job struggles and challenges with once-a-week daycare and balancing chores at home.
Working mom responds to in-laws who think she has it easy with once-a-week daycare challenges.
Text comment emphasizing a working mom defending herself against in-laws about having it easy with once-a-week daycare.
Comment defending working mom with full-time jobs and addressing rude in-laws about daycare challenges.
Screenshot of an online comment defending a working mom who manages once-a-week daycare, responding to in-laws’ criticism.
Comment discussing a working mom standing up to in-laws who underestimate her challenges with limited daycare availability.
Comment defending working mom discussing challenges of daycare and family opinions in an online forum thread.
Screenshot of a comment criticizing delivery but praising a working mom’s response to in-laws about daycare challenges.
Working mom responding firmly to in-laws who think her once-a-week daycare schedule is easy.
Text comment by working mom addressing in-laws about challenges of having one day a week daycare and juggling jobs.
Commenter defends working mom juggling job and once-a-week daycare amid in-laws’ judgment and misunderstandings.
Comment from a working mom explaining why once-a-week daycare is a vital survival tool, not an easy break.
Comment criticizing in-laws for misunderstanding working mom’s challenges with once-a-week daycare and remote work.
Comment from a working mom defending herself against in-laws who criticize her for using once-a-week daycare.
Comment discussing working mom advice on managing daycare and handling in-laws who underestimate her challenges.
Comment from a working mom responding to in-laws doubting the challenges of once-a-week daycare and working life.
Not everyone was on the same page. Some folks had a different perspective
Working mom responds to in-laws downplaying challenges of managing job with once-a-week daycare support.
Comment discussing the challenges of balancing work and parenting from a working mom’s perspective about daycare.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment where a user says the person is the problem, addressing a working mom’s daycare challenge with in-laws.
Comment criticizing behavior, emphasizing hard work of a working mom managing once-a-week daycare challenges with in-laws.
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