Relationships are rarely straightforward, and many of the potential problems you might run into with someone aren’t obvious until the two of you actually get together.
Reddit user Extension_Accountant thought he knew this. The man was aware of how tricky his girlfriend’s ex could’ve made their life, and he still moved in with the woman and her daughter. He even took care of their housing, schooling, and other expenses.
However, the more time the girl spent with her biological dad, the messier things got, and when he started feeling like an ATM, the man turned to the internet to get some perspective. Here’s what he wrote.
This man wanted to be a father figure for his girlfriend’s daughter since her biological dad wasn’t really in the picture
Teen girl upset and covering her face while a man looks on, depicting a story about refusal to give money.
But the girl wasn’t treating him like part of the family
Text post about a teen telling a guy she’s not her dad and his refusal to give her money.
Text excerpt discussing a teen’s on again/off again relationship with a guy she tells he’s not her dad.
Text excerpt discussing a teen’s experience with a part-time dad who refuses to give child support money.
Text excerpt about a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to give her money.
And when she got into trouble, he realized their relationship was getting worse
Police officer standing in a mall, symbolizing authority in a teen tells guy he’s not her dad story.
Text on a white background describing a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to give her money.
Teen shocked as guy firmly refuses to give her money after she tells him he’s not her dad.
Teen tells guy he’s not her dad, shocked as he refuses to give her money, discussing apologies to security and store employees.
Text excerpt showing a conversation where a teen speaks in a strong, affirmative voice about punishing Dio while in the car.
Teen girl with a pink neck pillow sitting in the backseat of a car, looking out the window, wearing a seatbelt.
Text excerpt showing a fatherly tone lecture about not stealing and not tolerating thieves or police involvement in a household.
Teen tells guy he’s not her dad and is shocked when he refuses to give her any money, showing tension in their interaction.
Text excerpt showing a man explains paying for a teen’s needs despite not being her dad, facing refusal to give money.
Text excerpt showing a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to give her money causing shock.
Now, he refuses to give her money, and tensions have skyrocketed
Man sitting on the floor with hand on face, appearing shocked and frustrated in a modern living room setting.
Teen tells guy he’s not her dad and is shocked when he refuses to give her money for sport uniform accessories.
Text on screen showing a man refusing to pay after a teen tells him he is not her dad.
Text snippet showing a teen telling a guy he is not her dad, highlighting a refusal to give her money.
<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/1-131.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““AITA For Telling My Gf’s Daughter She’s Not My Daughter So Don’t Expect Me To Pay?” - 20”>
Even though most parents have to address defiance at some point during their child’s life, many are not confident in doing so
It’s important to understand that there is a spectrum of defiant behavior — from frustrating behaviors to risk-taking ones. Heather Bernstein, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, says that these behaviors tend to occur around curfews, homework time, or when screen time is limited.
Parents often lose confidence in their parenting styles when children become teenagers because suddenly what used to work no longer does. And when parents are frustrated by a defiant kid, they sometimes rely too heavily on punishments and even shame.
Dr. Bernstein acknowledges that it’s hard to respond to defiance without being emotional yourself. Especially when it about something bigger, like breaking the law. Parents may inflict harsh punishment when they see the behavior as an affront. “A parent may think this is an attack against them,” she explains, “and then they respond from a place of retaliation for their hurt.”
But that doesn’t lead to long-term progress.
“If the interactions between the kid and their parents are largely negative, that makes it more likely that kids are going to be noncompliant and engaged in defiance. Because they’re not motivated by the relationship.” Instead of focusing too heavily on punishing bad behaviors, she recommends that parents use positive practices as often as possible.
Good behavior can be motivated by rewards, Dr. Bernstein notes, such as providing more freedom to go out with friends .
When rules are broken and consequences are called for, Dr. Bernstein says it’s important to match the thing the teen did wrong. For instance, if a teen doesn’t keep their curfew or isn’t where they said they’d be, their carers may track their location for a while, until trust is restored.
“They’re going to have to earn back that trust, so they might need to check in with the parent more frequently,” Dr. Bernstein adds. “It’s about tying the consequence to the concerning behavior.”
Ultimately, the goal, aside from safety, is to build trust.
As the man’s story went viral, he provided more information on what had been happening
Screenshot of an online discussion where users debate financial responsibility between a teen’s mom and her boyfriend.
Comment discussing a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to give her money, expressing concern.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing tipping security guards and managers in an awkward situation involving money.
Many think everyone involved should do better
Screenshot of a Reddit discussion about a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and refusing money.
Comment explaining a teen’s difficult home life and challenges with puberty in a story about a teen telling guy he’s not her dad.
Teen tells guy he’s not her dad and is shocked when he refuses to give her any money in a tense parenting discussion.
Comment discussing frustration over a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to provide money.
Or that the man isn’t responsible for the situation
Comment from anon explaining that someone is either the dad or not, addressing the teen’s claim about paternity and money refusal.
Reddit comment discussing a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to give her money.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment reacting to a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and refusing to give money.
Comment discussing the refusal to be a father figure and the consequences of not paying for the kid’s upbringing.
Teen tells guy he’s not her dad and is shocked when he refuses to give her money in a <a href=
family money dispute.” />
Comment explaining a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to give money, seen on Reddit.
Comment on a forum discussing a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to give money.
Screenshot of a forum comment debating a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and issues about money and boundaries.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment reacting to a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to give money.
But some believe that he, in fact, is the problem
Comment on a forum thread where a teen tells a guy he’s not her dad and is shocked he refuses to give her money.
Comment expressing criticism about a teen telling a guy he’s not her dad and his refusal to give her money.
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