Every blended family has its ups and downs, especially at the start, but usually once the kids have warmed up to their stepparent , a wonderful new connection can blossom. Unfortunately, things can go wrong, especially if either one of the biological parents acts as an obstacle to the relationship.
This is what a woman faced because her husband’s ex kept feeding lies to her stepkids about her. That’s why they spent years hating her, until they found out the truth and apologized, but by then, she didn’t want to reconnect.
More info: Reddit
When children in blended families take sides in a feud meant for adults, it can end up eroding their close family connections over time
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The poster explained that she had met her husband six months after he had gotten divorced, and that he had split custody of his young daughters at the time
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At first, the woman had a great relationship with her stepdaughters, but later on, her husband’s ex fed lies to the girls about her being the woman their dad had cheated with
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For years, the poster had to face being cut off from her stepdaughters’ lives, until their biological mom revealed that she had lied and manipulated them
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When the stepdaughters found out the truth, they apologized and tried to fix the relationship, but even though the poster forgave them, she felt it was too late to rebuild things
In the beginning, as the woman mentioned, she seemed to have a wonderful connection with her stepdaughters, and they were even close. This healthy relationship went on for many years, and the woman felt glad that she had the kind of bond with the girls that she had always hoped to have.
Many stepparents dream of being close to their partner’s children, but as experts point out, it might take a long time to actually cultivate this kind of connection. It can only happen if the adult does their best to spend time with their stepkids and truly understand them, without jumping into being a disciplinarian right away.
Unfortunately for the OP, the bond that she had with the girls slowly began changing as they became older and their biological mom fed them lies. She made it seem like the poster was the reason for her marriage ending and that she had been a mistress , which made the stepdaughters begin to hate her.
In situations like this, where one of the biological parents hates their ex’s new partner, it can end up causing a lot of tension. That’s why family experts advise stepparents to take a step back from the drama, even if it’s hard, and to try to be the bigger person, because in the end, their stepkids will naturally side with their biological parents.
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Things became incredibly tense between the OP and her stepdaughters as they got older and began cutting her out of their lives. She felt very hurt when they disinvited her to family events, tried to convince her husband to leave her, and even refused to have a relationship with their half-siblings .
Even though the poster and her husband tried to do damage control by letting the women know that she had not been the reason for their parents’ splitting , they still didn’t believe any of it. Eventually, the OP had to make peace with the fact that her relationship with her stepdaughters would never be the same.
In blended family conflicts like this, professionals explain that it’s important for the biological parent to do their best to build a connection between their kids and their partner. When things get tough and there are misunderstandings or disagreements, the biological parent needs to be the first to clear the air.
Although the man wasn’t able to convince his daughters about the truth, they finally realized it after their mom revealed that she had lied. That’s when they apologized to their stepmom and expected her to welcome them with open arms, but due to years of disrespect, she knew she wouldn’t be able to be close with them again.
What do you think about this situation, and do you feel the poster made the right decision not to rebuild her relationship with her stepdaughters? Do share your honest thoughts down below.
Most people sided with the woman and agreed that she couldn’t easily just get over a decade of hurt and pain
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