Right, of course, it is terribly funny when someone is pricking you and probing all your nooks and crannies with some cold metal medical instrument that should belong in a torture museum, no less.
It’s even more hilarious when you’re being poked with a needle or told that the only cure for your ailment is a complete overhaul of your lifestyle, including quitting your job. And if you’re really lucky, maybe even a call to your personal injury lawyer - because laughter is the best medicine, but liability waivers are a close second.
A real ha-ha moment there! Yet, you could always turn the tables around and laugh at something relatable to the subject before you’re the one being laughed at. Do you know where this is going?
Yup, you are right; we are presenting our list of medical puns that are as good of a weapon against your nemesis - healthcare - as any. Hopefully, you’ll laugh away your scorn with these hilariously funny hospital puns!
So, what should you expect from these medical puns and jokes? Well, for instance, a good dose of fun aimed at the very same cold metal instruments that belong in a torture museum. After reading these cool puns, the only reaction to seeing a scalpel will be laughter!
Then, there’s a good chunk of doctor jokes, too. And once you stop laughing at those silly jokes, you’ll see that a doctor is no white-clad god but just a human like you.
So, funny medical puns aimed at instruments, doctors, nurses, prescriptions, and all the inconveniences you endure while at an appointment are laughed at wholeheartedly here. What could be better?
<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-1-653613acf1e93__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Funny medical pun about insomnia and late-night eating, with the punchline “Insomnomnomnia” on a red background. - 1”>
What is it called when you can’t sleep but eat all night instead? Insomnomnomnia.
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I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU.
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When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-2-653614252b05c__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Pink background with medical pun: “It takes some guts to be an organ donor.” - 2”>
It takes some guts to be an organ donor.
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You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
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I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain. Somebody had ripped the appendix out.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-3-653614a2b2b93__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Humorous medical pun text: “Never lie to an X-ray technician. They can see right through you.” - 3”>
Never lie to an X-ray technician. They can see right through you.
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Medical students hate the test on kidney stones, it’s the hardest test to pass.
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“Doctor, Doctor! My son just swallowed a roll of film!” “Let’s hope nothing develops!”
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Why don’t yogurt and medicine get along? One is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic!
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I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
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Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine but CAT-scan.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-4-653614e837e08__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Medical pun about optometry on a beige background: “Optometry puns just keep getting cornea!” - 4”>
Optometry puns just keep getting cornea!
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Why do nurses bring red markers to work? Just in case they need to draw blood.
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What do you call frozen Ibuprofen? A chill pill.
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PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-5-6536157e5661a__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Medical pun on a red background: “If you steal someone’s heart, do you get cardiac arrested?” - 5”>
If you steal someone’s heart, do you get cardiac arrested?
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I just had a successful liver transplant operation. That surgeon really de-livered!
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Why do your heart, liver, and lungs all fit in your body? Because they are well organized.
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Why are pediatricians always agitated? Because they have little patients!
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I went to medical school with an incredibly ambitious guy who was obsessed with collecting skulls; he’d do anything to get a head.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-7-65361806725c9__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=““Medical pun on a teal background: ‘The plague, the flu, and common cold walk into the room. What is this, some kind of sick joke?’” - 7”>
The plague, the flu, and common cold walk into the room. I asked, “What is this? Some kind of sick joke?”
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What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? “Did you hear? The doctor’s taking us out tonight.”
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Nurse: “Wow, that cut looks terrible. Do you want me to stitch it up?” Me: “No, thanks.” Nurse: “Fine, suture self.”
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I tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up.
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A friend of mine made so many rash decisions that he became a dermatologist.
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The doctor told a patient, “You have acute appendicitis.” The patient replied, “Is that better than an ugly one?”
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What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid!
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I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport puns. The doctor says it’s terminal.
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What is the medical name for owning too many dogs? A roverdose.
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A very nervous patient was admitted to get a blood transfusion at the blood bank. The female nurse told her not to worry and B+!
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A little joke when you’re sick never hurt antibody.
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Why did they take paracetamol to prison? It’s a pain killer.
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A patient said to the doctor, “I keep dreaming my eyes change color”. The doctor says “It’s just a pigment of your imagination”.
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For years I was against organ transplants. Then I had a change of heart.
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What happened to the girl who ate food colouring? She dyed a little inside.
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The funniest thing about transplant nurses is that they cannot stand rejection!
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Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.
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I woke up this morning coughing badly, think I may have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it’s hard to say.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-11-65361aef16169__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Medical pun on a green background: “When the lung fell in love it took its breath away.” - 11”>
When the lung fell in love it took its breath away.
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Nurse: “What’s the condition of the boy who swallowed a quarter?” Doctor: “No change yet!”
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-12-65361b3d5cc48__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Text reads: “Bad medical puns are hard to stomach” on a beige background. - 12”>
Bad medical puns are hard to stomach.
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What did the bladders say to each other on Valentines day? Urine my thoughts.
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There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said “Keep off the Grass.”
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Mind neuron business.
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We be-lung together.
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An organ’s favorite boat is a blood vessel.
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What do your organs do on your birthday? They cell-ebrate!
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Eyes make dedicated teachers because they only have one pupil.
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I have a joke about the flu but I hope you don’t get it.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-14-65361be5168c8__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Medical pun on a pink background: “You must go to the foot doctor to get heeled!” - 14”>
You must go to the foot doctor to get heeled!
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Why did the doctor laugh at the X-ray of an arm? Because he found the X -ray humerus.
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Why do eye doctors live so long? They dilate.
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Two blood vessels fell in love but alas, it was all in vein.
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How can you tell if a mummy has a cold? He starts coffin.
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Dentists always get to the root of the problem.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-16-65361c73af56b__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Valentine’s Day medical pun: “I kneed you” joke on beige background. - 16”>
What did one leg say to the other leg on Valentines day? I kneed you.
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Nurses are very weird and always answer in a negative way. I told my registered nurse friend to stay safe during this pandemic, she just replied, “You stay negative”.
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I thought I had a good joke about a contagious disease but I was wrong. It didn’t go viral.
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What sickness does a martial artist have? Kung FLU!
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The frog went to the hospital to have a hop-eration!
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Let’s take the bird to the hospital for some tweetment!
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Where does an owl get medical treatment from? Dr. Who.
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What did the vein say to the pessimistic blood clot? “Be positive.”
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Conversations between brain surgeons can be mind-numbing.
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Legs are hereditary. They run in your jeans!
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If you hurt your foot while driving, call a toe-truck.
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Why did the clown go to the doctors? Because he was feeling funny.
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The medical examiners were told to reduce their spending, so they had to cut coroners.
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Why did the cell phone go see an eye doctor? Because it needed some new contacts.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-19-6536204fc342a__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Medical pun text on a green background: “A brain goes on vacation to a hippo-camp-us!” - 19”>
A brain goes on vacation to a hippo-camp-us!
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The computer sneezed because it had a virus.
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Be quiet inside a pharmacy, you might wake the sleeping pills!
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The infectious diseases ward of the hospital has the best wifi because of all of the hotspots.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-20-653620a73a427__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Medical pun on beige background: “Statistically, nine out of ten injections are in vein.” - 20”>
Statistically, nine out of ten injections are in vein.
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A kidney’s favorite instrument is the organ.
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I had a gut feeling I had food poisoning.
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A pharmacist gave the wrong prescription, which was a bitter pill to swallow.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-21-65362110e7421__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Text on a red background with a medical pun: “A boy asked a doctor why he felt like a pony. Doctor replied, you’re a little hoarse.” - 21”>
A boy asked a doctor why he felt like a pony, the doctor said it’s because you’re a little hoarse.
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Why do shoes go to the doctors? To be heeled.
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Once, a man visited a hospital where none of the nurses checked on him. Finally, a female nurse came and told him that she was sorry for the delay. The man calmly replied, “It’s fine, I’m patient”.
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The angry brain lost its nerve!
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-22-65362188a65d2__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Pink card with a medical pun: “What do you give a sick pig? Oink-ment!” - 22”>
What do you give a sick pig? Oink-ment!
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Why did the book go to the doctor? Someone broke its spine.
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The doctor knew she was destined to be an osteopath, she could feel it in her bones.
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Where is the best place in the hospital to read ‘Auld Lang Syne’ and other old poems? The Serious Burns Unit.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-23-653621feedac0__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Medical pun on a teal background: “He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart.” - 23”>
He was wheeled into the operating room, and then had a change of heart.
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The fastest thing on your face is your nose. It’s always running.
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Where did the duck go when he felt sick? To the ducktor.
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The best dermatologists start their careers from scratch.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-24-6536228b66a1d__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Funny medical pun about a “biop-sea” joke on a yellow background. - 24”>
What do you call a medical operation to see inside an ocean? A biop-sea.
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Have you met the new midwives, Doctor Ova Ree and Doctor D. Livery?
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Have you met the new chiropractor, Doctor L. Bow?
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The new doctor is such a happy person, have you met Doctor Phil Goode?
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-25-6536251dbbfac__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Text on an image reading “When neurons commit a crime, they are put in a nerve cell,” featuring a medical pun. - 25”>
When neurons commit a crime, they are put in a nerve cell.
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Why should you trust the surgeons who are repairing your slipped disk? Because they have your back!
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A patient came to the ER with a rash. She was really itching to get out of here.
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Why can’t you leave painkillers near a bird cage? Because the paracetamol.
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The new doctor is a real people person, have you met the Dr. Hugh Manatee?
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The sick pig went to the hospital in a ham-bulance!
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A doctor gets mad when it runs out of patients!
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Why did the snowman go to the doctors? He felt a bit chilly.
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Why did the window go to the doctor? It had a lot of pane.
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I hope you find this humerus.
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You know, the heart is the hungriest organ. It has the heartiest appetite.
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Which part of your body likes to drink milk? Your calf!
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-28-653626f8857e9__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Image with a medical pun: “The bacteria posted a video online hoping it would go viral,” on a beige background. - 28”>
The bacteria posted a video online hoping, it would go viral.
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The medical student failed anatomy because she just couldn’t cut it.
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I went on a date with a Cardio Nurse and my heart was racing the whole time.
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It’s going tibia OK!
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One problem with antibiotics is that no matter how popular it gets, it’s never going viral.
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Why did the doctors appointment with the centipede take so long? Because he sprained his ankles.
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Why did the rope go to the doctors? Because it had a knot in its stomach.
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Who is the coolest person in the hospital? The Ultra Sound guy.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-30-6536282444142__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Pink image with a medical pun: “The new doctor is very sweet, have you met Doctor Pepper?” - 30”>
The new doctor is very sweet, have you met Doctor Pepper?
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Where did the boat go to sleep? The doc.
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What did one shin say to another on Valentines day? I want tibia with you.
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A snail went to the hospital when it felt sick. The nurse gave the dehydrated, poor animal a snailine solution.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-31-653628c05c420__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Medical pun with kidneys saying, “Urine my thoughts!” on a green background. - 31”>
The kidney said to the other, “Urine my thoughts!”
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“This surgical knife isn’t sharp,” the doctor said bluntly.
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When the cat was sick it wasn’t feline well!
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The most common operation in a hospital made out of LEGO is plastic surgery!
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-32-6536290a1fa56__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Text reads: “What do you call a fish with a medical degree? A Sturgeon.” Humorous medical pun on a tan background. - 32”>
What do you call a fish with a medical degree? A Sturgeon.
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What did the doctor give the sick snake? Asp-irin!
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I have a patient who is very rude. He’s ill-mannered.
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Why did the pillow go to the doctors? They felt a bit stuffy.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-33-65362af9c35ba__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Image with a medical pun: “Who stands in for doctors on leave? The hip replacement guy.” - 33”>
Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave? The hip replacement guy.
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How do doctors help rockets? They give the rockets their booster shots.
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Two surgeons were joking so much they had each other in stitches!
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Before surgery, the nurse put the IV in my right hand, so I started texting from my left. She said, “Wow! How can you do that?” I said: “I’m ambi-textrous.”
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-34-65362b9fb328d__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Pink background with a medical pun: “Urine: the opposite of ‘you’re out.’” - 34”>
Urine: the opposite of ‘you’re out.’
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The beekeeper went to the doctor because she had hives.
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Where do ghosts go when they’re sick? To the witch doctor!
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What do you call an alligator’s nurse? Gator-aid.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-35-65362be81f3b7__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Text on a teal background: “The banana went to the hospital because it was not peeling well.” Medical puns humor image. - 35”>
The banana went to the hospital because it was not peeling well.
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What music do eye doctors prefer? iTunes.
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What did the doctor say to the sick apple? We’ll get to the core of this.
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At night, you have to wait ages for an X-ray because there’s only skeleton staff working.
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The nurse badly wanted to pursue her career as a stand-up comedian. In one of the comedy shows, she literally left everyone in the stitches!
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Are you kidney-ing me?
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What was Zeus’ specialty in medical school? Surge-ery
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Where do horses go when they’re sick? The horsepital.
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<img loading=“lazy” src=“https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/medical-puns-37-65362cbec5c31__700.jpg" onerror=“this.onerror=null;this.src=‘https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhe7F7TRXHtjiKvHb5vS7DmnxvpHiDyoYyYvm1nHB3Qp2_w3BnM6A2eq4v7FYxCC9bfZt3a9vIMtAYEKUiaDQbHMg-ViyGmRIj39MLp0bGFfgfYw1Dc9q_H-T0wiTm3l0Uq42dETrN9eC8aGJ9_IORZsxST1AcLR7np1koOfcc7tnHa4S8Mwz_xD9d0=s16000';" alt=“Text saying: “I’m looking for a good medical programme to watch, but I don’t want no Scrubs.” - 37”>
I’m looking for a good medical programme to watch, but I don’t want no Scrubs.
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Names are often weird and hilarious. My sister’s best friend is a nurse, and one of her sole jobs is inserting tubes in patients. Her name is Catherine!
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If you’re not laughing maybe you need to learn the anatomy of the joke.
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The cookie went to the hospital because it was feeling crummy!
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Olympian Makes Stunning Admission After Judge’s Conspicuous Scores Ignite Cheating Accusations
