Taking part in any sport is a real challenge. Just think how awkward you are when you’ve just started learning how to play, say, squash, polo, or roque! You might’ve even thought that such levels of awkwardness did not exist until you yourself tried participating in said sports. Of course, with tenacity and some sweat, you do become at the very least an average player, but those moments of utter clumsiness are still with you. And you know what the best thing to do with those memories is? Laugh at them, of course. And if such memories are too few for you to make your belly ache with mirth, don’t worry, as this is our selection of the best sports jokes that have ever existed on the internet. And the sheer amount of these funny jokes should do the trick!
And it truly doesn’t matter which of the sports you sympathize with - all of them are covered in this compendium. For those thinking about bouncy orange balls all day long, we have basketball jokes. For the aficionados of running, kicking, and sliding sideways on the grass, we have soccer jokes. And for those with ruined elbows, we have a nice selection of tennis jokes! So, no matter where your moments of ineptitude began, you will find a cool joke here that will make you feel seen and heard.
Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from? The tooth fairy.
Report
What does a Bulls fan do after they see their team win? Rewind the VHS tape.
Report
What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus? He waits for it at the next stop.
Report
I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing. He said, “Knock yourself out!”
Report
Why are baseball games at night? The bats sleep during the day.
Report
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
Report
What is the most depressing thing about tennis? You’ll never be as good as a wall.
Report
Which sport is always in trouble? BADminton.
Report
During the World Cup in Brazil, the England team visited an orphanage. “It was heart-breaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said João, age 6.
Report
What are the rules for zebra baseball? Three stripes and you’re out.
Report
What’s a golfer’s favorite letter? Tee!
Report
Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die.
Report
My friend and I visited Canada together for the first time. We went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out.
Report
Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer? They watch cricket, instead.
Report
What is a banana’s favorite gymnastics move? The splits!
Report
Where do cheating gymnasts go? Behind parallel bars!
Report
What do an angry bunny and a pro basketball player have in common? Mad hops.
Report
Which goalie can jump higher than the crossbars? All of them. Crossbars can’t jump.
Report
When should baseball players wear armor? When they’re playing knight games.
Report
What did the baseball glove say to the ball? “Catch ya later!”
Report
Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be? It’s full of fans.
Report
Why doesn’t the basketball team have a website? They can’t string together three Ws.
Report
What does a basketball player do once he loses his sight? Become a referee.
Report
Why do basketball players like cookies? It’s just another excuse to dunk.
Report
What kind of tea do football players drink? Penaltea.
Report
What would you name it if you had a basketball-playing shark? It’d be called Sharq.
Report
Soccer is a strange game. It’s a bunch of people running away from their goals.
Report
How many tennis players does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they all say, “What do you mean it was out, it was in!”
Report
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? A bat, of course.
Report
Why couldn’t the dog run in the marathon? Because he wasn’t a part of the human race!
Report
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Report
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
Report
What does a softball pitcher and a professional bowler have in common? They both know how to throw a strike.
Report
What is the hardest thing about skateboarding? Concrete.
Report
A gymnast walks into a bar… She has then deducted five points.
Report
I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Report
What is cardboard’s favorite sport? Boxing.
Report
What’s the difference between a ball hog and time? Time passes.
Report
Who’s the best basketball player in a galaxy far far away? Kobe-Wan Kenobi.
Report
My partner just split up with me because they think I’m obsessed with football. I’m a bit gutted about it – we’d been going out for three seasons.
Report
Which soccer team has nailed their formation? The Hammers.
Report
Why do Lakers fans trim their nails with scissors? Because they hate Clippers.
Report
Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball? If he raises them both, he’d fall down.
Report
Why can’t you play soccer in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs!
Report
Why did the soccer ball quit the team? He was tired of being kicked around.
Report
Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA? Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.
Report
Why are basketball players such messy eaters? They’re always dribbling.
Report
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
Report
Why couldn’t the all-star football player listen to any music? He broke all the records.
Report
Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team? They needed a little team spirit.
Report
Why couldn’t the defensive end pass any of his tests? He was a tackling dummy.
Report
What does a hockey play and a magician have in common? They both do hat tricks.
Report
Why do hipsters love field hockey? Because it’s ice hockey before it gets cool.
Report
Why are hockey players so good at making friends? They’re quick to break the ice.
Report
Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball? The defense cleared it.
Report
Soccer is surprisingly relevant to my life. Just consider the lack of goals.
Report
How many Manchester City soccer fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None — they’re quite happy living in the shadows.
Report
What does a Timberwolves fan do after they win the finals? Turn off his Playstation and go to bed.
Report
I’ve decided to participate in a competition of stair climbing. I guess I’ll definitely have to step up my game.
Report
Real golfers don’t miss putts, they get robbed.
Report
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer. What a Messi guy.
Report
I had a Kyrie Irving joke but it fell flat.
Report
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night? Clubbing.
Report
Why is tennis a really loud sport? It’s because the players raise quite a racket.
Report
What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars? Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.
Report
What did the tennis player say before playing with vanilla ice cream? “I’d like a soft serve, please!”
Report
Why was the tennis club’s website down? They had problems with their server.
Report
Why couldn’t the bike finish the Olympic race? It was two-tired.
Report
If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.
Report
What do Chelsea and US Navy have in common? They both spent 50mil on a sub.
Report
How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to their fans!
Report
Where do old bowling balls end up? In the gutter!
Report
Where do retired hockey players prefer working? At the bakery, they are good at icing the cakes.
Report
What basketball player would be a great spokesperson for autumn? Tacko Fall.
Report
What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded? He sent on his subs!
Report
What do you call 20 FC Barcelona fans in the basement? A whine cellar.
Report
What did the football player say to the flight attendant? “Put me in coach!”
Report
I’ve got a great idea for a NBA themed fast-food restaurant. Shake-Shaq.
Report
Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited? Because he was always putting on Airs.
Report
Where do catchers sit at lunch? Behind the plate.
Report
What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team.
Report
How do baseball players keep in touch? They touch base every once in a while.
Report
Which fast-food chain is most likely to win a basketball tournament? Dunkin’ Donuts.
Report
What’s Prince Charles’ favorite American basketball team? Sacramento Kings.
Report
Why did the fish refuse to play basketball? He was afraid of the net.
Report
What’s the difference between England and a teabag? A teabag could stay in the cup for longer.
Report
Where do football players go when they need new uniforms? New Jersey.
Report
How do football players deal with their problems? They tackle them head-on.
Report
Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick Cause he wanted to join the maple leafs.
Report
Hockey players are known for their summer teeth. Summer here, summer there.
Report
Hockey players are like goldfish. Just tap on the glass to get their attention.
Report
How did the soccer pitch end up as a triangle? Somebody took a corner!
Report
How do lacrosse players deliver their messages? They do it by Air Mail.
Report
What are you going to do if someone asked for a donation for your local swimming pool? I’d give them a glass of water.
Report
I shot one under at golf today. One under a tree, one under a bush and one under the water.
Report
What’s a Philosopher’s favorite sport? Mental gymnastics.
Report
How long does it take for the gymnast to get to practice? A split second!
Report
The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.
Report
Why is it never a good idea to take a batsman, who is scared of the short ball, out to a nightclub? He always gets into a tangle with the bouncer.
Report
If self-depreciation was a sport, I’d probably be pretty rubbish at that too.
Report
Why did the skydiving club disband? Because they had a falling out.
Report
Why can’t a pig play hockey? They hog the puck.
Report
Why do volleyball players like to go swimming? They enjoy diving in the deep and floating in the shallow.
Report
Where’s the best place to watch the Raiders in the super bowl? The History Channel.
Report
How many softball players does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They’re too busy arguing the last call.
Report
What did the triangle offense say to the ball? You’re pointless.
Report
Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!
Report
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire? One steals watches and one watches steals.
Report
Which hockey players can not be trusted? Anyone on the Devils.
Report
Why can’t the Detroit Lions player get into his own driveway? Someone painted an endzone on it.
Report
What happened to the joke that Tom Brady told his receivers? It went over their heads.
Report
What does JETS stand for? Just End The Season.
Report
Why don’t baseball players join unions? Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.
Report
What is the difference between a Dallas Cowboys jersey and a dollar bill? A dollar bill is good for 4 quarters.
Report
Why did the Braves hire a baker? They needed a new batter.
Report
What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves? The fence.
Report
Why can’t basketball players go on vacation? They aren’t allowed to travel.
Report
Why was the basketball player sitting on the sidelines drawing chickens? Coach told her to learn how to draw fouls.
Report
What do you call twelve millionaires gathered around the TV to watch the NBA Finals? The Sacramento Kings.
Report
What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute then sits down and starts crying the next? Every sports coach ever.
Report
Why are hockey rinks rounded? Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
Report
What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game? The Zam-bony.
Report
How do hockey players kiss? They pucker up.
Report
Why are soccer players excellent at math? They know how to use their heads.
Report
Two soccer teams play a game against each other. The home team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a goal. How can this be? They were women’s teams.
Report
I tried to start a soccer club, so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board to get the ball rolling.
Report
What does a baseball player do when he starts losing his eyesight? He becomes an umpire.
Report
Why didn’t the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!
Report
What position would Luke Skywalker play if he was on the Star Wars hockey team? X-Wing.
Report
Why are lacrosse players never on time? Because they’re always cutting it close.
Report
Fencers don’t mess around, they get straight to the point.
Report
What runs along the edge of the pitch but never moves? The sideline!
Report
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year? All porpoise yardage!
Report
What position do ghosts play in soccer? Ghoulie.
Report
Who played in the pirate Super Bowl? The Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Seattle Seahawks.
Report
Where do they keep the largest diamond in New York City? Yankee Stadium.
Report
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game? Then you’ll be charged with interference.
Report
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!
Follow Bored Panda on Google News!
Not your original work? Add source
Unlock an Enhanced Experience with Bored Panda Premium
Go ad-free, access unlimited content, and enjoy our sleek dark mode. Your favorite stories, uninterrupted.
No fees, cancel anytime
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(749x0:751x2):format(webp)/james-van-der-beek-melissa-joan-hart-clarissa-explains-it-all-01-021126-2fc520a096c546d78a9ae1173c5c4a29.jpg)
Olympian Makes Stunning Admission After Judge’s Conspicuous Scores Ignite Cheating Accusations
