When does a pun become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. See what we did there? That’s a bad pun and a dad joke all in one. People may make fun of those who come up with bad puns, but let’s face it: we all secretly enjoy them. That’s why, for this article, we collected pun examples and dad jokes from all over the internet.
What Is a Pun?
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot
justbadpuns Report
I got some shoes from my drug dealer recently, I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day..
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Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side
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What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback
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Shout out to the people that don’t know what the opposite of in is!
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What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine
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I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body
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So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means?? It’s not the end of the world!
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To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing
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I had a crazy dream last night. I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea..
justbadpuns Report
A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky. The husband says, it’s reindeer.
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3. He says, “uno, dos..” and then POOF he disappeared without a tres..
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I saw a sign that said falling rocks, so I tried and it doesn’t.
justbadpuns Report
Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
justbadpuns Report
Geology rocks, but Geography is where it’s at!
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I would tell you an unemployment joke, but none of them work..
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What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere
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I saw a girl today who had 12 nipples. Sounds crazy, dozen tit?
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Can February March? No, but April May
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A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
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I don’t like the term, “anal bleaching.” I prefer, “changing your ring tone.”
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Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant
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My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games to much, what a stupid thing to Fallout 4
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A Harley rider eating in a restaurant is checking out a gorgeous redhead. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket. The biker reaches up, snatches it out of the air, and hands it back to her. “I am so embarrassed,” the woman says. “Please join me for dinner." They enjoy a wonderful meal together and afterwards she invites him to the theatre, followed by drinks. She pays for everything. Then she asks him to her place for a nightcap, and to stay for breakfast. The next morning the guy is amazed. “Are you this nice to every biker you meet?” he asks. “Not usually,” she replies. “But you just happened to catch my eye.”
justbadpuns Report
My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo..
justbadpuns Report
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too..
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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy..
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I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something..
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Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane..
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I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y..
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I lost my mood ring and i don’t know how to feel about it..
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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside..
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A man was found dead in a vat full of falafel condiments. Police are treating it as a hummuscide.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana..
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I lost my watch at a party. When I went looking for it, I saw some guy stepping on it while harassing a girl. So I walked up to the dude and punched him straight in the nose because no one does that to a girl… Not on my watch!
justbadpuns Report
My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends..
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Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed..
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Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them..
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Beer may not make you smart, Budweiser..
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Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak..
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Rick Astley will let you borrow any of his Pixar collection DVDs but he will never give you Up
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Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting…
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Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos..
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How much does a hipster weigh? an Instagram..
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I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink
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What do French people call a sad Thursday? A tra-Jeudi
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A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence..
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What did the ghost teacher say to the class? Look at the board and I will go through it again..
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My girlfriend likes to tie me to the bed and cover me in chocolate and caramel. She’s a dominatwix.
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I went to a terrible piano concert the other night. The pianist made so many mistakes I can’t even begin to Liszt. It was too much for me to Handel so I left and demanded all my money Bach the next day.
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Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
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Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience
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Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon
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Once, there was a lumberjack who wandered into a magical forest. As he swung his axe, the tree said “don’t cut me down, I’m a talking tree!” The lumberjack replied, “and you will dialogue.”
justbadpuns Report
Why do people with foot fetishes never win? Because they like the taste of defeat
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Did you know it’s far easier to convince ladies to not eat Tide Pods, but it’s harder to deter gents?
justbadpuns Report
What do you use to cut a Roman Emperors hair? Ceasers
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He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel
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The archaeologist discovered an ancient tampon after a ruin excavation, the only problem was she couldn’t work out what period it was from.
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What did the kleptomaniac do in the bathroom? Nothing special, he was only taking a shower
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A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired..
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The Middle Ages were called the Dark Ages because there were too many knights
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It took a while to learn to use a hammer but we finally nailed it.
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Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in..
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My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta..
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Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24hrs, so they just called it a day..
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What did the buffalo say when his son went to college? Bison..
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What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes
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Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded.
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I’m trying to start a memory-foam mattress company, I just don’t know how to make a good first impression
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I made a pun about wind, but it blows
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I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it
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My dream is to open a photo processing store in a developing country.
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Simba was walking slow so i told him mufasa..
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Did you hear about the two perfume companies fighting over the rights to a Star-Wars themed bottle? People are calling it the Cologne Wars
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I’ve always pictured myself taking selfies
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I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care
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What program do the Jedi use to open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi
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The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory because she was fed up with the hole business..
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Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.
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The dead batteries were given out free of charge..
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My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns. I should put a little more backbone into them..
justbadpuns Report
What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis.
justbadpuns Report
Deaf mathematicians communicate through sin language.
justbadpuns Report
I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.
justbadpuns Report
My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn’t letter. They said only mails work here.
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I used to hate maths but then I realised decimals have a point
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I once boxed a pirate, he had a strong right hook
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Did you hear about the submarine industry? It really took a dive..
justbadpuns Report
I’m planning on opening a fried chicken place. I don’t have any experience in the field, but I figured I’d just wing it.
justbadpuns Report
The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester..
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Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers..
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I had a joke about murder that would’ve really killed but I’m sure you’re all sick to death of those
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My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast..
justbadpuns Report
A policeman arrested two kids. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!
justbadpuns Report
Did y’all hear about the farmer that had to retire due to his headache? He’d always say, “I’m so sick of my grains!”
justbadpuns Report
I’ve got a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn’t fit it into my set
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A guy approached me and asked if I wanted to use his ice rink for 10p. What a cheap-skate
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I used to be a baby but I grew out of it!
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My sister was telling me about our cousin. I have to say, he sounds familia
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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef..
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What do you mean June is over? Julying
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Have you seen the photo of spiderman getting shot? He’s all over the web
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Do you know why I like Peter Pan? Because it never grows old
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What did the dry erase marker say to the blackboard? Nothing! Dry erase markers don’t chalk.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal..
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When the church relocated it had an organ transplant
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I started to write the beginning and the middle of my story, but I forgot the
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My mom got so angry when I broke the microwave. I’ve never seen her so heated in my life..
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I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.
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What would the couple name of Jack and Rose from the “Titanic” be? It doesn’t matter, ‘cause their ship sank.
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Without Pepe life is memeingless..
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I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y..
justbadpuns Report
What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis.
justbadpuns Report
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